How to recognize being stressed

So how to deal with things that tend to make you more dissociated. I was going to make a post on here like a minute ago but can't remember why now, or even what I was going to say. Other than the title of course. How do y'all prevent that from happening?

VeronicaCatScratch wrote:So how to deal with things that tend to make you more dissociated... Other than the title of course. How do y'all prevent that from happening?

Using grounding techniques and self-soothing are ways to keep us in the present moment.

Thank you so much for the reply, and I am aware of grounding and self-soothing. I guess I was hoping there was a more direct way? To try to prevent the dissociation at all? I usually try to literally talk to myself about what I'm doing, which I believe is grounding. But I can still fade out which sucks majorly. I was hoping I could just put a weight and keep myself completely there.

VeronicaCatScratch wrote: I guess I was hoping there was a more direct way? To try to prevent the dissociation at all?

Not that we are aware of. It is our understanding that dissociation itself is not treatable however the symptoms of dissociation are for example anxiety.

We make step by step lists of everything, from a whole 'day' one, to a hour by hour one, or minute by minute if we need it. This has taken a long time to become habit though...

We also wear gemstone bracelets and necklaces, which offer a nice texture to rub if we are feeling confused.


Zelda - One in the Albion System

Dissociation happens when someone is overwhelmed by what's happening to the point of needing to
"go away." So the point of practicing grounding and self-soothing exercises when you're NOT dissociating is to expand your window of tolerance so there's a wider range of things that don't stress you to that point.

It can be hard, because we've learned that it's easier to dissociate than to feel whatever feelings are stirred up by the situation.

There's a meditation that I do that guides me to not only focus on my breathing, but to notice when my attention is drawn to other things, such as sounds, body sensations, emotions, and thoughts. It talks about noticing how your body feels when you're "having an emotion, " and it has helped me to tolerate emotions better.

The less that you feel like you have to avoid emotions because they're intolerable, the less you'll have to escape from them, and the easier it will be to stay present.

For us, Delilah is the best and handling situations where I'm so stressed I dissociate. So what has worked for us:

Delilah is almost always co-conscious with me. Where I used to "go away" when too stressed, she at one point decided to make me stay enough to be co-conscious, but I was behind her. So she was handling things, but I could still feel the stress and was totally aware of everything. Kind of like when you don't walk all the way into a room, you're standing in the doorway, or you are leaning against the wall next to the doorway... if that makes sense.

Eventually, I stopped struggling to leave and accepted that she wouldn't let me, because she loved me and this was her way of helping.

After some time, eventually she would start to slowly pull me closer to the front, so that each time I was stressed, I was a step closer to her, but still behind her, hiding, being protected. Like a shy child hiding behind their mother at the person they are unsure about, peeking between her legs or around her.

Now, during stressful times I can usually be next to D (shoulder to shoulder) rather than behind her. She knows my limits however, and if she knows it really is too much for me to deal with she lets me leave.

We have also found that if the stresser is that there just seems like too much to do that I get overwhelmed, Delilah will make me a list of what needs to be done, and it will be listed in the order of priorities.

K

my golden rules of prevention are
hydrate - drink your water
take your vitamins or any meds regularly
try to sleep always
be ruthless about your time, comittments, and boundaries. schedule in time just for you. whatever is your thing. if it's a jog to blow off steam or curling up with a book or whatever. just make time for you to decompress and unwind.
get a schedule/routine and stick to it. go to bed and wake up at the same time if you can.
and remember to eat.

practicing all the basics of self care just makes everything easier to deal with and gives you more resilience.

eat - sleep - shower. drink lots of water. I guess I get really out of touch with my body so it's really important I remember to do these things. it's like my mantra.