forcing me to deal with an issue THEIR way

Recently my health has taken a turn for the worse and it's because I haven't really been taking care of the body while I've been taking care of the Mind so I want to stay uplifted I want to stay in powered and all the things that I felt before finding out that I was not doing so well but another altar insist on me handling this issue their way and their way and their way only and it's actually distracting me once again from taking care of my physical health and it's causing us to split. What do I do? And just to be clear I have also made plenty of compromises to see things their way but they won't make any compromises To See It My Way. Because ultimately my way is the way that can work for everyone without trouble or excessive amounts of trauma. What do I do?

Hello....very sorry to hear that. I can relate to what you're dealing with. I too have had to deal with very trouble-making alters like that. It took quite some time for me to be able to get them to work with me....but now the problems with them are beginning to ease a lot. Hopefully my advice will help in some way.......

My advice would be:

Try to talk to them in a nice way and tell them how you feel about this issue. (They may or may not listen to you....I know because that was the way it was for me.....but I eventually got through to them....it took awhile though) Also Ask them, if you can also in a nice way, why they think their method is the best way.

I know all systems are different....but trying to be nice to them seems to go a long way in "my" system (BUT I do know how hard it can be to be nice to one that's not nice back. It is very hard at times. Myself I got frustrated with them a lot....but my kindness eventually caused them to ease their harshness.)


I also suggest that if talking to them doesn't help....maybe you could talk to one of your protectors about it to see what they suggest and/or holding a meeting with some or all of the others. Maybe all of you can come to an agreement that way.....not sure....but it is possible.

Hope my advice helps you in some way......Also hope you're able to get the issue(s) straightened out WITHOUT causing more problems. Good luck!

Ponyta wrote:Hello....very sorry to hear that. I can relate to what you're dealing with. I too have had to deal with very trouble-making alters like that. It took quite some time for me to be able to get them to work with me....but now the problems with them are beginning to ease a lot. Hopefully my advice will help in some way.......

My advice would be:

Try to talk to them in a nice way and tell them how you feel about this issue. (They may or may not listen to you....I know because that was the way it was for me.....but I eventually got through to them....it took awhile though) Also Ask them, if you can also in a nice way, why they think their method is the best way.

I know all systems are different....but trying to be nice to them seems to go a long way in "my" system (BUT I do know how hard it can be to be nice to one that's not nice back. It is very hard at times. Myself I got frustrated with them a lot....but my kindness eventually caused them to ease their harshness.)


I also suggest that if talking to them doesn't help....maybe you could talk to one of your protectors about it to see what they suggest and/or holding a meeting with some or all of the others. Maybe all of you can come to an agreement that way.....not sure....but it is possible.

Hope my advice helps you in some way......Also hope you're able to get the issue(s) straightened out WITHOUT causing more problems. Good luck!

Thank you so much for your help I truly appreciate your kind words and all of your advice it came in just the nick of time. I wish you well as well. Thank you

WeAreOne420 wrote:Thank you so much for your help I truly appreciate your kind words and all of your advice it came in just the nick of time. I wish you well as well. Thank you

You are very welcome! Hope it helps!


Thank you as well!

This is so familiar. Had my back literally screwed back together & it's a long recovery process. We had been working on co-consciousness before the surgery which complicated it. With my T's help we worked on a group approach. Kinda divided up the work. One was in charge of the medication...taking it timely, checking for side effects, getting refills, dealing with docs etc. Another was responsible for rehab...actually doing exercises while we were inpatient & when we got home, scheduling, etc. Another for creature comforts...clean PJ's, pillows properly placed, grocery list for healthy food for our caregiver, moisture lotion, etc. Don't know how non-MPDs do it!! Most of us had to lower our expectations as each was certain they were the best one to be in charge of everything. As long as things got done there was no complaining about an easier or better way of doing it. Did make lots of lists & notes so insiders could check. One taking care of the little ones often checked to see treats were on the shopping list...healthy was being taken too literally for them. Pain meds often needed to be coordinated with exercise schedule. All the important stuff got taken care of & T says it helped our co-con work. A host coordinated but wasn't allowed to complain as long as things were being done. Sounds easier than it was! The not complaining was a big issue. Thankfully my T was able to come to the hospital.Afraid he was the brunt of the complaints! Hope you can work things out. Not a fun thing to deal with in the first place. Take good care of yourself..