Resistance to Grounding

Does anybody know of any resources dealing with members of a multiple system who intentionally resist grounding techniques? That is, these system members fight back by dissociating more?

Particularly helpful would be resources that also delve into the reason(s) behind the resistance behavior (i.e. insisting on remaining stuck in trauma time because it feels safer than taking the risk of letting go). We want to address the cause and not just the symptoms.

Thanks in advance,

Mary, Allegra, and others

Greetings Mary, Allegra, and others. Some comments:

Sentinel: One thing is that Front was trying to get me to be grounded in the present and I'm like, ###$ you, I know where I am, I know what time it is, and I'm still pissed off about this that and everything. No, it is Front's job to do the grounding. It is my opinion based on my experience that the ANP needs to be the one doing the grounding because they're the ones ignoring everything! The EP can't do it on our own because we got our lights knocked out by the trauma. An ANP can turn the lights on though if they work hard. They do get tired though, I understand sometimes Front would rather have me ruminating all day than be grounded. We all get tired of our roles but we're stuck.

Tdae: I'm not actually fronting, but Front speaks for me. It is not easy for me to be grounded because the toxicity I contain could literally damage the host. I hate this world so much and I can't stand it. Imagine you live in the dark ages when people used to throw feces in the streets and burn witches at the stake. That is how disgusted I am in this world, and with my own existence being one of these gross creatures. I have the potential to do evil, and that is another reason why I am quarantine. Sentinel is ugly too but she doesn't have the dark hatred that I have. But the host misses me in their life and they want to integrate me, because I am also a creative spark of life. I'm just a very difficult one because of who I am and what I contain, being the death side of the circle of life.

MakersDozn wrote:Does anybody know of any resources dealing with members of a multiple system who intentionally resist grounding techniques? That is, these system members fight back by dissociating more...
Mary, Allegra, and others

We too would like an answer to this question; we tend to retreat into our dispassionate analytical alters when we would prefer to be feeling. Mind you, our T says we defend ourselves, very often subconsciously (in fact we would venture to say always subconsciously) via such mechanisms. It's a real conundrum. Alternatively, we lose snippets of time

As with everything, aren’t the answers inside? You’ve already said that those members of the system see grounding as threatening because they equate it with relaxing and being less vigilant. They would rather stick with the defenses they developed when those were necessary, and don’t believe that they are no longer necessary. Do I have that right?

Can you find out what their specific fears are about what will happen to them if you practice being calm and attentive to the present? There were fears about healing, I recall, but again, knowing what they specifically are might be very helpful.

It sounds complicated and painful. Would self-regulation be a term that’s more acceptable to them? After all, that’s the goal of grounding, right? To try to get to or stay in your window of tolerance.

The T here is working with "what if" sentences. Like, you don't have to do it, you don't even have to imagine doing it, but what do you think might happen if....
then find the misconception. I think you mentioned before tht you are resisting the work with cognitive errors. but that is exactly what the T here would use. Find the cognitive error, confront it, solve the trance logic... all that needs at least a small degree of willingness to be present/connected to the present and deal with reality.
we often need a T to point out the cognitive errors and help us out of trance logic. its hard when you are in the middle of it all. we always argue hard with the T before we are getting anywhere...

Hi all,

After we posted this, we realized that pushing to accomplish what we posted about is exactly the kind of thing that sends our system into crisis/chaos because we're moving too fast.

It was a real "facepalm" moment to realize this.

Your responses are all helpful, though. And we'll come back to them later when it feels safer for our whole system to do so.

Mary, Allegra, and others