Doubts about it all

I don't think that it is good to always dismiss doubt as simply being a symptom of DID. Sure - it's a symptom - but it can also be a warning that the diagnosis is incorrect. Even if that is rare, I think it is a valid consideration.

Many years ago, when I had bipolar symptoms, my doctor labeled me as atypical bipolar. I wanted the diagnosis of Bipolar 1 because I thought it more accurately fit the severity of my symptoms. Atypical bipolar seemed (to me) like it was less severe and almost felt like a put-down.

I can think of lots of reason why the diagnosis of DID would be a plus...

1) You are not at fault. You were not somehow flawed or inadequate. You were a perfectly normal child messed up by someone else.

2) You get to be a survivor. And not just any survivor...but a survivor of horrible abuse.

3) You get to be interesting. Not just anybody has this diagnosis. Doctors and therapists are often curious or even enthralled.

4) Of course life is terribly hard. Look at the complexity you are dealing with. Other people just have to deal with one life. You have to deal with the lives of many living in your one body. Other people have it so easy and don't realize it. You have it so hard. You deserve lots of care-taking and sympathy.

5) You get to occasionally say that an action done by the body was actually done by somebody other than you.

6) You get to be part of a community even if it is just online.

I'm sure there are many other bonuses to being DID.

What you describe, puppieskittens, aren't bonuses. And what you're doing, like you do all the time, is being verbally abusive with rude and blunt dismissive and twisting stuff. If you have DID, you're in major denial; claiming that you're healed without touching trauma's and without acknowledging your parts. And you're projecting all your tricks to keep that up on others. Your contribution to this discussion is offensive, inappropiate and totally irrelevant, yet again.

puppieskittens wrote:Many years ago, when I had bipolar symptoms, my doctor labeled me as atypical bipolar. I wanted the diagnosis of Bipolar 1 because I thought it more accurately fit the severity of my symptoms. Atypical bipolar seemed (to me) like it was less severe and almost felt like a put-down.

Well, maybe at some level you knew that diagnosis was incorrect, and you knew you had more drastic "mood" switches than he was acknowledging, so if it had to be a mood disorder, according to that doctor, then bipolar 1 seemed to be the best fit. But you have DID, so he was wrong anyway.

So you were correct to doubt his diagnosis, because it was wrong, and it's not an example of you inappropriately wanting a "more severe" diagnosis just to have something more severe. So, I'm not sure what it's supposed to be an example of.

Also, no one is talking about dismissing doubt about the correctness of a diagnosis. This thread is about the way denial returns again and again despite a confirmed and known to be true by the system diagnosis of DID. These are people who are saying that they KNOW they have this and usually can deal with that knowledge, but STILL have disturbing times when they doubt that it is true. And how that doubt can INTERFERE and SLOW their healing process.

Do YOU feel like your diagnosis is a plus? Do you feel like you benefit from those "bonuses" of having DID? Please only speak for yourself and not for others. To do otherwise is very offensive.

puppieskittens wrote:I don't think that it is good to always dismiss doubt as simply being a symptom of DID. Sure - it's a symptom - but it can also be a warning that the diagnosis is incorrect. Even if that is rare, I think it is a valid consideration.

Many years ago, when I had bipolar symptoms, my doctor labeled me as atypical bipolar. I wanted the diagnosis of Bipolar 1 because I thought it more accurately fit the severity of my symptoms. Atypical bipolar seemed (to me) like it was less severe and almost felt like a put-down.

I can think of lots of reason why the diagnosis of DID would be a plus...

1) You are not at fault. You were not somehow flawed or inadequate. You were a perfectly normal child messed up by someone else.

2) You get to be a survivor. And not just any survivor...but a survivor of horrible abuse.

3) You get to be interesting. Not just anybody has this diagnosis. Doctors and therapists are often curious or even enthralled.

4) Of course life is terribly hard. Look at the complexity you are dealing with. Other people just have to deal with one life. You have to deal with the lives of many living in your one body. Other people have it so easy and don't realize it. You have it so hard. You deserve lots of care-taking and sympathy.

5) You get to occasionally say that an action done by the body was actually done by somebody other than you.

6) You get to be part of a community even if it is just online.

I'm sure there are many other bonuses to being DID.

There is comfort, too, in never truly being alone... When you're sad, scared, lonely... it is a comfort to know there are others with you, there for you, that (for the most part- those with hostiles, those excepted of course) are supportive of and loving towards you.

puppieskittens wrote:
1) You are not at fault. You were not somehow flawed or inadequate. You were a perfectly normal child messed up by someone else.

2) You get to be a survivor. And not just any survivor...but a survivor of horrible abuse.

3) You get to be interesting. Not just anybody has this diagnosis. Doctors and therapists are often curious or even enthralled.

4) Of course life is terribly hard. Look at the complexity you are dealing with. Other people just have to deal with one life. You have to deal with the lives of many living in your one body. Other people have it so easy and don't realize it. You have it so hard. You deserve lots of care-taking and sympathy.

5) You get to occasionally say that an action done by the body was actually done by somebody other than you.

6) You get to be part of a community even if it is just online.

I'm sure there are many other bonuses to being DID.

1.No psych disorder is your own fault. Bipolars didn't choose to have it. No one with psychosis chose to have it. Non of people who are mentally ill are responsible for having their condition. Even the worst psychopaths aren't responsible for being psychopaths, they didn't choose to be that way.

2.Most people would rather have had a happy life, than aimed to go thru what they did in order to "get to be a survivor". Wanting to be survivor and a victim sounds more like Munchausen syndrome.

3.I don't want people around me, who wouldn't be there without my diagnose. It's called positive stereotyping, and it's just prejudice like any other to assume things about some minority. There's nothing interesting in me or my life. Only way my symptoms can be seen outside is that I can't be with other people a lot, but need to be on my own. It's not interesting, it's quite the opposite of interesting. That is the same kind of thing, when girls can be very interested in gays, because they think they talk about feelings differently than straight men and are interested in fashion and girly talk. Most of them are not, and they can be very annoyed when girls think they would be interested in hanging out with them. For what purpose? They are not interested in females. They are not gay to be cute for girls. They are gays for the things that are for guys only.

4.Sounds like Munchausen syndrome in here too.

5.It's not a bonus to have people using your body to do things you would never do, but are sorry, ashamed of or scared. Having parts makes it harder for you to control yourselves, but you are still responsible as a system. It's not something you use for things you actually did. To be able to explain it wasn't you is there to take away part of your shame, you wouldn't feel, if you could be in control of yourselves.

Psychopaths are still responsible for what they have done, even when they do have condition they didn't chose to have.

6.There are all kind of communities online and real life, for all hobbies and purely positive things too.

I think there would be many bonuses to be able to do things so easily as healthy people do.

*Munchausen syndrome is when someone pretends something not true, in order to have sympathy and admiration. They can pretend to have all kind of illnesses, cause illnesses for themselves on purpose or they can pretend they have done something heroic. Munchousen by proxy is when they use other people to get the sympathy or admiration from others. They can pretend their child is sick, or cause their child to be sick, so that they would be seen as suffering, but very caring mothers, and others would feel sorry for them, and admire them at the same time. Or they can for example stat a fire, so that they can safe people out from a burning building to be seen as heroes.

It's severe condition as well and also caused by severe early trauma.

I tried to post this last night, but it disappeared. I've been losing more posts lately--very frustrating!
Anyway, getting back to the original subject before puppieskittens hijacked it, I wanted to pull out these gems about denial so I can refer back to them when it's creeping up on me.

Zor wrote:Surely my mind didn't just "do this" for no reason... Maybe it's part of my mind NOT wanting to know?

Floralie wrote:It's almost amusing to see how people can still deny, when it is very clear. I don't mean to say that mean way, I've just so familiar with the symptom. I feel it too, and I know also how it looks like from outside then. I'm also learning same things again and again. Every couple of days I'm realizing I really have parts. There is proof for that. But every time I get new proof they actually are real, I am as amazed about it than the first time. Wuuuuuuut?!? I have parts. Oh, I actually knew it already. But now I like REALLY have them in real life. Oh, I knew it too.

VioletFlux wrote:I used to remind older Violet when she got into denial, you can't really argue with the voices in your head about whether or not you have voices in your head.

I try to cope with denial with humor as much as possible, since that makes things less overwhelming and then it's easier to believe this is real. Before I joined the forum, I read past posts on here for months, and one of the most striking examples of denial I saw was an alter who made their own separate account on here specifically to argue with another alter in their system about why they DIDN'T have DID. So, actually people can and do argue with the voices in their head about whether or not they have voices in their head.

I've been reading this forum for a while, and another one that is for all people with trauma, with or without any diagnose. There are two people in there that I think most definitely have DID, others who have parts at some level, but not as specified or strong (not able to control the body), many with personality disorders etc.

The other one with what I think is clearly DID, has told a lot about his symptoms, and they are severe. Until he one day came in and claimed he has healed, and not sure why he has been so ###$ up and weird lately, but now everything is fine, and he is healthy. Two weeks later he came back, not being healthy anymore (it probably was just a part). He didn't explain anything and no one asked. All knew it's so normal and part of the thing, symptom among others. So they just continued as normal.

I think that's the greatest thing with peer support, you don't need to explain so much at all.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:I tried to post this last night, but it disappeared. I've been losing more posts lately--very frustrating!
Anyway, getting back to the original subject before puppieskittens hijacked it, I wanted to pull out these gems about denial so I can refer back to them when it's creeping up on me.

Zor wrote:Surely my mind didn't just "do this" for no reason... Maybe it's part of my mind NOT wanting to know?

Floralie wrote:It's almost amusing to see how people can still deny, when it is very clear. I don't mean to say that mean way, I've just so familiar with the symptom. I feel it too, and I know also how it looks like from outside then. I'm also learning same things again and again. Every couple of days I'm realizing I really have parts. There is proof for that. But every time I get new proof they actually are real, I am as amazed about it than the first time. Wuuuuuuut?!? I have parts. Oh, I actually knew it already. But now I like REALLY have them in real life. Oh, I knew it too.

VioletFlux wrote:I used to remind older Violet when she got into denial, you can't really argue with the voices in your head about whether or not you have voices in your head.

I try to cope with denial with humor as much as possible, since that makes things less overwhelming and then it's easier to believe this is real. Before I joined the forum, I read past posts on here for months, and one of the most striking examples of denial I saw was an alter who made their own separate account on here specifically to argue with another alter in their system about why they DIDN'T have DID. So, actually people can and do argue with the voices in their head about whether or not they have voices in their head.

Well it's really nice to know this doubt and denial is not something unusual... and yeah, as someone said up there (not sure which of you it was, sorry) about the voices... It IS hard to argue with one of them or hear them, or see their writing in our journal and still try and deny it is happening. I sometimes have written in there and Pixie's jumped in and commented- and it's VERY noticeable. The wording changes, the handwriting is atrocious (Pixie's got AWFUL handwriting, though she teases me and says I think so b/c I write too neat, "like a girl" lol)... and I'll go back and forth with her and it's like a second or two after I wrote a sentence there's several in reply to the ones I just wrote- that I have NO memory of writing... so I KNOW it is happening... but it's still just hard to accept some days.