Issues with posting

i was wondering how people deal with wanting to post but feeling like you don't "belong"?

i (alice) use this account mainly. i'm definitely fine with others using this account, i try and encourage them to post if they want to, but i think they feel like they're intruding somehow?

it's easier with bubbles because she's little, so the littles thread works well for her if she's around (i'm trying to encourage her to post more). it can be a little hard to coax her out though because it looks like i'm doing "grown-up stuff" by being on the forums. i don't know if werne wants to post, but he'd have the littles thread too since he's also little.

with jones and lain it's a little more difficult. i guess we don't really align ourselves with terms like "gatekeeper" or "protector" or stuff like that. jones wants to post / vent but feels like our journey thread is "mine" (alice's), and he doesn't see himself as a "protector", so the protector thread feels out of place for him. equally lain seems to want to post, or they're thinking about it at least, but even if they feel like they're "not an adult", they don't even feel human so the concept of age is difficult for them.

i might try and encourage jones and lain to use the "how are you feeling today" thread since it's a "general" place to talk/vent. i'll keep reassuring them that the journey thread can be used by everyone but i do understand why they wouldn't wanna use it for posting.

anyway i just thought i'd ask how other people deal with this, or if anyone feels like they don't "belong" and finds it hard to post?

I have two separate systems. With the other one feel I do belong more, but I don't know almost anything about them, only that they exist.

With the other system I feel I don't belong, or I feel they don't belong, but actually I don't think they even care about belonging, so it's not a problem for them. Not belonging is because they live so deeply in their own world. Teens in my head have nothing to say to teens thread, because others there are talking about how it feels to be part of a system and share a body and things about their outside life. Mine don't really have outside life, and in there they have their own bodies, so they don't feel like they need to share their life with others, as far as I know. If they come here they are different versions, or something. It's hard to explain. But if they come here, I think all that happened here is deleted, at least temporarily, when they go in. Until they come back. They have inside and outside versions of themselves maybe, and inside versions don't care about outside world. Also outside version don't have anything to talk about, but their inner lives. That is who they REALLY are. They have everything in there, they are safe from the outside world.

If you don't know where to write, you can start a new topic about what you wanted to share.

Floralie wrote:If you don't know where to write, you can start a new topic about what you wanted to share.

This might be the best solution if they don't want to post on the journey thread and they don't want the topic to get lost in the "how are you today" thread.

Maybe you can have a discussion with them about how the journey thread is for your whole system (if that's true), and maybe they will feel more comfortable posting there. There's also nothing wrong with one of them having their own journey thread. Systems can't have more than one account, but if a part wants to post about their own journey, separate from alice's, there isn't a rule against that, I don't think.

Most of our issues with posting are that we'll compose a post, either mentally or we'll actually type it all out, but either way, then we decide against actually posting it. Mostly because we suddenly decide we're not really contributing, or what we have to say isn't important or isn't relevant.

We don't get the feelings of not-belonging so much... we get them a bit, and got them a lot more at first, when V1 was trying to convnce herself we didn't have DID and convince herself she didn't have parts and all that. It does come up now and then still but rarely, when we suddenly doubt / question all this, but that's more about our reality and less about whether or not we belong on the forum.

And I agree with Gang's suggestion, that they could always start their own journey thread if they didn't want to share yours, or if they felt yours wasn't for them. Or they can start other threads if they want to discuss something specific. They don't have to try and conform to any of the existing ongoing thread topics.

Violet

we think of it like a guest post in the journey thread. it doesn't really feel like mine, but it's the logical place to put our $#%^.

I often write posts and then don't submit them. what I say feels irrelevant or rude.

sharing is hard. we are mostly blurred up and mishmashy anyway.

In the past I've tried really hard to encourage parts to write and share and join in but I didn't get very far and ended up realising they they don't have much desire to reach out independently and engage on the forum so I ended up dropping it. I still read most threads incase anyone is inside and watching and wants to say something which they do occasionally but it's almost always me checking the forum not them.

I think if they want to post but don't know where or feel like they can post on threads that already exist then starting there own is a good idea.

thank you for all the replies, they were all really helpful.

the belonging thing wasn't about anyone feeling like they didn't belong in the system or anything like that, it was more that the others feel that the forum is "my" (alice's) space to post and i wanted to think of a way that'd help them feel more comfortable posting here. i guess we're not used to sharing an account in this way (we have our own separate blogs / places to put stuff up outside of the forums).

it's obviously up to them if they wanna post or not, i'd never force them to or anything, but i know a few of them expressed interest in doing it but felt like they were "intruding" so i wanted to try and show them it'd be okay to reach out to people and share their feelings if they wanted to.

a new thread sounds like a good idea for the future. i'm hoping they'll feel more comfortable adding stuff to already existing threads if they feel they want to. i'm also gonna keep reminding them that the current journey thread is free for anyone to add to as well.