The knowledge of my friend's DID it is overwhelming.

We're no longer in contact, and I don't know how to deal with it anymore. I think I may have PTSD now because of it. Recently I thought one of his alters contacted me because I had asked him to, but it turns out it wasn't him. It's been really hard for me. Knowing what he has, and I think his alters went back into hiding. I'm not sure if his family knows. I wanted so much to help him with it and be there for him, let him know that I completely accept who he is, but he would get angry at me for it. ... The reason we stopped being friends is because he (or most of his alters at least) was in love with me. He had a relationship already, which was hard when I found out. I tried just being his friend, but he wouldn't talk to me as just a friend, and I had to focus on me again. Anyway, it's bad again, and I just feel like crying all the time. I don't know who to turn to. I feel like I'm bearing this all alone, and a part of me feels like I need some sort of therapy to deal with it. My heart is so broken by it. And I hate whoever hurt him when he was a kid. I hate them. I try not to hate anyone, but that's what I feel. And I wish I could fix it. I wish I could make it all better for him. But one girl can only do so much. I tried, but it was and still is affecting me to a point where it's just so difficult to bear. And then I feel like I don't deserve to feel this way because he must feel so much worse and be suffering way more than I am. I don't be know how I'm supposed to let him go.

Your post is a bit jumbled so I'm not sure if I fully understand what you were saying so I hope my response is OK.

However your feeling its OK to feel that way. Here are some statistics on how caring for someone can impact your own mental wellbeing.

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/statist ... ics-carers

There is also a condition called secondary traumatic stress I don't think it's in the DSM or equivalents but I could be wrong. The point it that it's becoming increasingly recognised that learning about other people's trauma can be traumatic in and of itself.

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/trauma-toolkit/ ... tic-stress

I would advise looking for a T experienced with trauma and understanding and accepting that the trauma for you wasn't your own but someone else's.

Your right there is only so much you can do and you can't support or help someone else if you are being so strongly affected by the attempt.

If he isn't willing or able to accept your boundary of just being friends then I don't think you can help him. It might be hard to let go but from what you have written here I think it's best for the both of you.

psychforums has a place for friends of people with mental problem you can find at "general"
I don't think that others with DID can help you much.
if it is causing you a lot of emotional suffering, see a T about it. There might be more going on with you than you are aware of.
Please respect his choices. He obviously doesn't want help from you.

Hi,

Getting angry/defensive/avoidant/paranoid/thinking things can only get sexual (and not on other levels) when people want to come closer; check. It's painful and frustrating for everybody involved. I think it's nice of you to try and understand him and where his pain is coming from. Not everybody does that when they see those defence mechanisms.

But as long as he can't break those patterns, there's indeed not much more you can do for him. And your stability shouldn't depend on his behavior, so maybe it's a good idea to focus on your own boundaries and sense of self.

Good luck:)

Thank you for all your replies. Reason I posted here is because I thought others with similar experiences might help. It has a little.

Is this my past self who who has time traveled to the future and posted on this forum? FlowerGleamAndGlow you might have some hidden trauma yourself.