New info and Discovery of my "Inner World" (Outside the Room

Just realized that I have huge gaps in my memory that I wasn't previously aware of. Like for example, I watched X-men cartoons all of the time when I was younger. I thought I NEVER did.

The only way I found out was due to another personality alerting me to that. They shared the memory with me, or something- but not 100% fully- because I have no clue who any of the characters are really. I guess I have to do some research. Maybe that's why the other one has the name Wolverine......although he looks nothing like the pictures of him. He is a SHAPE-SHIFTER though- so maybe what I see isn't his true form. He says his current form is his favorite- so I don't know.

I met some guy named Nightcrawler. He looks like a normal human, although his eyes creeped me out a few times- they kinda turned yellow. He told me he sticks to the shadows. He has been trying to get me to come over to him for some time now, but I was previously unable to move around in my "inner world". He held out his hand and told me to take it. He told me that whatever I do, don't let go.

Nightcrawler teleported me "outside" (or something) of the "inner room" that I was previously confined to. I realized that my "inner world" is huge and very cool looking. Much nicer than that white room with high walls and many hallways.

Weirdo met us outside. He was on Horseback. Wolverine came running over soon afterwards. He looked like Black Beauty. Wolverine was shocked that I knew it was him. He told me that I was getting better. (not sure what that meant exactly. I just took it to mean that I was better at recognizing him in different forms) Wolverine told me a while back that he could take the form of ANYTHING from any of my memories or imagination.

Weirdo now changed the room somehow. It is much bigger and has a huge glass door in between Blaze's hallway and Nightcrawler's hallway now. He said that I can now travel outside anytime I want, but he asked for me to get him or Wolverine first to go along with me. I agreed. I'm also able to walk around the entire room now too. So that's really cool.

Im guessing you already know, but Nightcrawler is also from xmen.

And congrats on finding out more of your inner world, thats great.

I said to my sister "I never went to a Garage Rave. I wish I did" She said "you went to the biggest garage rave in the county more than once" I said "did I, when?" she explained when and where and then I started to remember being there. I didn't drink or take drugs at raves because I was always worried of someone spiking my drink and being allergic to pills so it was just a memory gap and once she reminded me I remembered details and who I was with sent in pictures. My memory is in pictures or words or feelings. Linking those three memories has been important in remembering stuff.

The upside I see to not remembering TV programmes or filns properly or at all is that you can watch them more than once.

The downside - do a course and only part of you remembers which is why I did courses sometimes 3+ times so each part learnt it. Sometimes we'd decide who needed something more, especially with therapy "who wants to go to therapy today" which was actually how my issues got highlighted because it was noticed in group therapy that I had no recollection of a previous disturbing session. It was awful, the group was shouting at me. The therapist dealt with it really well and gave me 1-1 therapy and Art therapy after that and then put me back in group therapy. I did find group therapy really helpful even though the group had all different issues.

So there's up and downsides to memory gaps in my opinion.

Ponyta wrote:Just realized that I have huge gaps in my memory that I wasn't previously aware of. Like for example, I watched X-men cartoons all of the time when I was younger. I thought I NEVER did.

THIS X-Men cartoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAkL2-vh2Sk I LOVED that as a kid!

-- Tue Aug 21, 2018 1:53 pm --

I am hoping to some day get into the "inner world" with my alters. I'd love to see their homes, their worlds, their families, and their children... I've known them so long but never seen them in person (thought they were friends elsewhere in the world for years). It would be so amazing to be able to actually see them and share a meal maybe.

Thank you all for your replies! I appreciate them!

KawaiiKitty wrote:Im guessing you already know, but Nightcrawler is also from xmen.

And congrats on finding out more of your inner world, thats great.

Thank you for the congrats! I appreciate it!

I actually had no clue Nightcrawler was based on the x-men character when I first saw him (Before I wrote the post). It wasn't until I realized I watched x-men that I made that discovery. It was like whoa! It sounds like him, plus they have the same name. I found out last night that He apparently was hiding this true form from me (He was trying to look like a normal human). He does have a tail and he does look like the x-men character.

He had his tail tucked under his outfit in a way that I wouldn't be able to see it when he was disguised as a normal human. The only reason I found out how he looks is due to the "Bully one" that has been causing "inner chaos" for a while now. He grabbed a hold of Nightcrawler's tail and hollered some mean stuff about him. The second I saw his tail, I could tell Nightcrawler was horrified. The bully made sure that I could clearly see his tail. Then somehow Nightcrawler's disguise completely broke. Nightcrawler thought that I would hate him. Both him and the bully one were shocked that I still wanted to be his friend. I could also tell that the bully one was enraged about that- he thought that I would reject Nightcrawler.

Zor wrote:
THIS X-Men cartoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAkL2-vh2Sk I LOVED that as a kid!

-- Tue Aug 21, 2018 1:53 pm --

I am hoping to some day get into the "inner world" with my alters. I'd love to see their homes, their worlds, their families, and their children... I've known them so long but never seen them in person (thought they were friends elsewhere in the world for years). It would be so amazing to be able to actually see them and share a meal maybe.

Yes, I believe that is the one.

Hopefully you'll be able to see your "inner world" someday. I couldn't see anything but a boring "white room" with many hallways at first- nor could I even look around the room. I originally could only look straight ahead and not move at all. It has changed a lot since then. I think it is mainly due to improved relationship/trust with my protectors (Weirdo and Wolverine).

Sarandipity wrote:The upside I see to not remembering TV programmes or filns properly or at all is that you can watch them more than once.

Yes, it is kinda cool to be able to watch the same shows more than once. I agree with you that there are both pros and cons.

Ponyta wrote:

Zor wrote:
THIS X-Men cartoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAkL2-vh2Sk I LOVED that as a kid!

-- Tue Aug 21, 2018 1:53 pm --

I am hoping to some day get into the "inner world" with my alters. I'd love to see their homes, their worlds, their families, and their children... I've known them so long but never seen them in person (thought they were friends elsewhere in the world for years). It would be so amazing to be able to actually see them and share a meal maybe.

Yes, I believe that is the one.

Hopefully you'll be able to see your "inner world" someday. I couldn't see anything but a boring "white room" with many hallways at first- nor could I even look around the room. I originally could only look straight ahead and not move at all. It has changed a lot since then. I think it is mainly due to improved relationship/trust with my protectors (Weirdo and Wolverine).

I am getting there with my alters, especially the protector - her name is Pixie and she's sort of represented by Tinker Bell b/c of her attitude, feistiness, and general force of will. lol

She mentioned to a friend of ours that she'd love to bring me "there" (where she and the others and their families live) some day so I can see them, spend time with them directly, meet & hold their kids, etc. She was, at one point, sort of a control entity for when others came and went, so maybe in time that can be possible.

I am getting there with my alters, especially the protector - her name is Pixie and she's sort of represented by Tinker Bell b/c of her attitude, feistiness, and general force of will. lol

She mentioned to a friend of ours that she'd love to bring me "there" (where she and the others and their families live) some day so I can see them, spend time with them directly, meet & hold their kids, etc. She was, at one point, sort of a control entity for when others came and went, so maybe in time that can be possible.

It sounds to me like they might show you.... so that's really cool. I hope you are able to see it soon.

Ponyta wrote:

I am getting there with my alters, especially the protector - her name is Pixie and she's sort of represented by Tinker Bell b/c of her attitude, feistiness, and general force of will. lol

She mentioned to a friend of ours that she'd love to bring me "there" (where she and the others and their families live) some day so I can see them, spend time with them directly, meet & hold their kids, etc. She was, at one point, sort of a control entity for when others came and went, so maybe in time that can be possible.

It sounds to me like they might show you.... so that's really cool. I hope you are able to see it soon.

I hope so, too. It could help get us closer and communicating better easier.