Self support methods

Do you relate...?

So, sometimes when I'm in a dark spot and I'm fronting and need a hug or somebody there for me I'll remember that Jackie is here for me and she'd provide support if she could. Sometimes I'll hold my own hand and let it be caressed so I can feel as though I'm being held by her for moral support.

I've been inviting her to come out now that I'm ready and willing to work together but she's regressed again and it feels like she's hiding from me. I've forgotten how much I need her and I feel somewhat abandoned by her repeated hiding. Maybe she feels like she caused me too much emotional duress in the past month by digging at me to front and is giving me a well needed break? Idk. I miss her.