I've been feeling like I have no control anymore

TheGangsAllHere wrote:There are MANY therapists and psychiatrists who don't believe in DID, or only know the media portrayals of it. It's your right to stop your medications if you want to. The psychiatrist can tell you how to lower and stop them safely even if they don't want you to stop.

Unfortunately i dont have that choice here. I live in a group home for mentally ill girls. The only thing I can do is refuse my medicatiosn but that would cause a very very painful experience for me including the possibility of that mean voice (or alter or whatever it is) to take control and do harm to my body
Cause the last time i attempted to go off my medications it kept searching for sharp objects that I had hidden from it. They never found them which was good but he or she would improvise by using things like playing cards or things that make light cuts on the skin Everytime I attempt to go off my meds i start getting these thoughts in my head that tell me to hurt myself and that i mean nothing to anyone. Even now I'm experiencing some form of voices in my head. In fact as I'm typing this they are trying to control my hands to type nasty things to me. But im not letting them because I'm forcing control. Its very scary because its the same experience I had when I was in the hospital where I heard people talking to me but it was like a crowded room and I couldnt single out a voice besides the negative one.

TheGangsAllHere wrote: Can you go to a different T? This one doesn't seem to have any training or knowledge about dissociative disorders. If you have only been treated by people who think you are psychotic, it would be good if you could find other providers who will understand that you're not.

Again unfortunately I cant change because its provided for me by a program called the YAS (Young Adult Services) And I dont think I can switch but I can always ask or suggest that I see someone else. I'm open to trying anything at this point because Im extremely scared of whats going on with my body. I dont feel safe anymore. I also hear a voice whom I'm calling Justin hes one of several names that pop into my head whenever I'm talking to the voices. Alot of the other names on my signature I have no clue who they are. They just were names popping into my head when I was listening to them talk. I'm sorry everyone I dont mean to offend anyone on here I'm honestly not trying to hurt anyone on here. Im just very ill informed on this disorder. I remember orginally coming here to get some information on it because my ex had the condition undiagnosed. Now I think its happening to me. Please forgive my ignorant self I apologize for making assumptions about DID.