trigger warning - neglect abuse
*********TW********
so I went to visit my pop, which I hate doing. this time his stepdaughter came over with three of her four children. I witnessed what I think was abuse? I am deeply unsettled.
there are 4 children by 3 father's. the mother is uneducated and ignorant. the youngest child (m,4) was constantly smacked as a form of sporting amusement. I saw the oldest child (F,13) hit him at least 20 times maybe a great deal more including several shots to the head with magazines.
the mother did nothing to curtail this behavior. I spoke up. I heard them say things like "cut your head off", "smack his face", "throw him down the stairs." the child was standing with the mother while she sat and the oldest had a fly swatter and said, "turn him around" and the mother did and she started to beat him. I was sickened and disgusted. I spoke up several times, but everyone ignored it. it ###$ my world up. my daughter saw it, she was upset. 4 year olds are the sweetest most loving things by nature and this one is apparently just smacked around endlessly for entertainment. not misbehavior. there is no discipline for misbehavior. just smacking for amusement.
did I witness abuse? I was disgusted. is there anything I can do? I don't think DSS would intervene. they aren't physically bruised and they looked clean enough.
I wanted to just save this child so bad. I wanted to scoop him up and tell him it wasn't his fault. my limited interaction with him he almost looked confused. like no one had ever been kind and loving and he wasn't sure to believe it or what it meant. yes, he was a wild screaming hellion who hit back but what I saw horrified me. an innocent child being destroyed. I wanted to scoop him up and tell him it was wrong and it wasn't his fault and nobody should ever hit anyone else. how the ###$ do these adults not realize what the ###$ they are doing????!!!!!!!! should I have just emphatically stated this was abuse and I wasn't going to witness it? I didn't know what to do. I was so shocked. I spoke up several times and they all basically didn't answer and just ignored me. I said hitting was wrong. I said they were hurting him. I said it was teaching him to hit others. I said it could damage his brain. nobody listened while a child was being smacked around. God I wish I had done something!!!!!!
what the ###$ do I even do? can I do anything? if I can't do anything how do I cope?
I've thought about calling social services. kidnapping him myself. sending her parenting books in the mail. it was a first hand glimpse of intergenerational trauma. the mother was raised by alcoholics who were raised by alcoholics.
it made me remember how my middle brother was taunted, beaten, and tormented for sport and amusement. I vaguely remember reading about roles in abusive households and how one is the scapegoat.
what I saw broke my heart and ###$ my world up. I debriefed my daughter. we had a talk about abuse and how what she saw was wrong. I want to never see any of them again. including my biological father. I don't give a ###$ how pathetic, sick , old, and lonely that monster is.
please help me wrap my mind around this highly triggering #######4 and just what in the actual ###$.