Where do your others “live” in your mind?

I’m going back and forth about whether I have DID or DDNOS and I’m wondering if any of you can help by sharing your own personal perceptions. I don’t feel like I really have “alters” (which is a requirement for a DID diagnosis), but I do have Emotional Parts... specifically, rage.

But here’s where it gets weird/confusing. The “rage” part lives in my head (back and to the left). I sense that it’s about twelve feet tall (but scaled down—if that makes any sense) and is red in color. It’s spherical, but squashed a bit (imagine a GIANT red blood cell). There’s an entrance with a door that is closed and locked. Inside, though I’ve never been in there, but I know it’s full of bad memories (it’s just a sense). Also inside is a young version of myself, around seven years old, standing by the door. He doesn’t care to come out and doesn’t want me in. I don’t get the feeling he’s guarding anything. I’ve tried closing my eyes and attempted to get inside, but I can’t.

Sooo... does any of that seem relatable to any of you or am I pretty far out?

Well every person's inner world is different! There's no right way or wrong way to have an inner world and inner worlds can change.
Mine is Earth so to speak, but it only has the others living in it (and me when I enter) and only one house a bigggg house. In this house they all have their own rooms and when other alters are unlocked from stasis from the basement (that's merely what we call it - when a alter is created but is dormant) their room appears

Some people can never enter their inner worlds, or can access a portion of it.

Personally I would recommend talking to a/your T before continuing to try to get in. Something I learned very quickly was to not go against the order the others created for us all, it keeps us safe.

I’ve always been fascinated by this kind of stuff so, I have to admit, that I’m really interested in exploring what’s going on, but... your advice kinda scares me. Thanks for the heads up. Your experience is very creative.

I don't know if this can help but I agree with KawaiiKitty.

My inner world is what you can call a bubble (even if a really big one), and they call it "the neighbourhood".
I tried entering some parts far from our fronting zone, which is a sort of a half square when you enter the IW, but I never succeded to see where some of the others live.
When I try to do it I always find myself in front of the Temple, which is the public place nearly everyone can enter. I explored some of its rooms, but when I do this I'm always being guided or watched by someone (mostly our Gatekeeper). I tried to ask him if I could enter his house, or maybe some of the rooms in which some documents are stored, but he told me I couldn't do that for my own good. So I never complained.
Knowing he keeps all the memories (mostly bad or hidden ones) with him, I respected his wishes.

So yep, I think you should listen to them when they warn you or ask you not to do something. Maybe they know it's not the right time. They just want to genuinely protect you. Or at least, in the majority of cases it's like this.

Don't worry about it too much, one day they'll probably be more open about it when they'll feel like it's a safe thing to let you in

I don't have access to our innerworld when I'm not in the body I seem to just be off. ZuZu says her and Pixie live in a soft fluffy cave. Nixie used to be isolated with the traumatic memories and backup lives in some kind of archive. Bit I don't know what those places are like I've just learnt and been told about them.

I agree if they are trying to keep you out respect that there is likely a very good reason for them wanting that. Try to talk to them and get to know them better if and when they think your ready they will probably let you in.

Our inner world used to be just a house. Each person had her own room and that's where she stayed.

Then, with getting to know each other, we evolved and adapted. Now the house has a "common room" where everyone can be at once if they choose. The common room has a big picture window that looks to the outside world. So anyone who chooses to be in the room, can see out.They can all hear and see.

So we have the person who is fronting, and then whoever is in the common room is co-conscious with the person who is fronting. Sometimes they sit close to the front, and sometimes they sit farther back. Of course, the farther back they sit, the less they see and hear.

Each person still has her own room. She can lock herself in and no one can talk to her. Or she can leave the door unlocked with a "come on in" sign on the outside so others can come into the room. Or she can even even leave the door open a bit, so she can hear and see a little, but is mostly doing her own thing. If that makes sense.

The exception is Little Wolf, she has made a forest inside that she lives in. She used to have a stone mountain that she laid in front of when she slept, covered by a thicket of trees. But then she became friends with Britney, and so now Britney has her own little cabin in the wilderness, and Little Wolf sleeps inside with Britney. Why this happened, I have no idea. But Britney crossed over into Little Wolf's territory one time to hide from everyone, and decided she liked it there, and Little Wolf let her stay.

I'm honestly not sure what their space looks like when they want to watch the outside. Sometimes they come in the house into the common room, but sometimes they don't, but they can still see and hear. So I don't know.

The new one, Val, I don't know anything about her space. I can feel where she "lives" in the back, left of my head somewhere, but she's been keeping mostly to herself. We don't even know what she looks or sounds like.

So, that's us.

K

I see my anger as a black shadow figure although it is not always there. I don’t have a feeling that it is standing behind me or even notice it until it is triggered and comes out. My inner world isn’t very complex. It is really just me stuck at different ages. There is a 6 year old me who has her own room and mostly just locks herself in there and is intensely hard to get to unless she wants to come out. I am a very shy person who doesn’t often say much but will still get up in front of people and sing. I’m convinced that is another part of me who wants to be heard... it’s like for as long as I can remember I’ve either been really shy and quiet or obnoxiously loud and ‘the class clown’. When I’m being obnoxiously loud I feel like I have 0 control over myself. But back to the singing in public places....people enjoy it.. I enjoy it... I get $$ at the end of the night... so it’s all good right? Kind of wish she didn’t go by my name though as it’s kind of hard to explain to people that as shy and reclusive as I am I still get up on stage and put on a killer show and talk to people during and afterwards. I guess lots of people think I am lying and don’t believe me. I also have lots of emotional parts but honestly am starting to think I have apparently normal ones as well... oh well