Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Did you delete the emails? If you didn't delete them you have evidence of what she said and that she then wanted to email on her personal account not her work one. I would forward copies of everything to whoever it is you can submit your complaint to tell them she was taking advantage of your fragile mental health and you are not up to dealing with the complaint personally maybe if you have someone you could trust in your life they could handle talking to them on your behalf.

Bejer wrote:If we file a complaint, she'll use our damage against us just like during those e-mails. I don't know if we can handle that while still being pretty unstable.

Don't you have actual emails from her that show how unstable she is? I completely get your fear, and I'm not sure what I would do, but when I used to think about complaining about my old T, and imagined that he would just blame me for "having" to do all the things he did (like phone me every night), I knew I didn't have anything to "prove" that what he did was wrong. Although it never occurred to me that someone might look at that and say, "I don't care how messed up she is, there's no justification for calling a therapy patient every single night of the week."

Bejer wrote:And I'm getting worried about new T's not believing us when it's about T trauma's. That they'll think we just blame everything on T's.

A good T will try to stay "on the same page" as you, reassuring you that your experience is REAL and your feelings are VALID. That if you think that a T did something wrong and damaging, then that's what happened until proven otherwise. They could wonder with you about different ways of viewing a past situation or a past T's behavior (or a current situation that plays out with them), but if they were to start out allied with past Ts and not you, that would be a non-starter for me.

Also, if your experience with this most recent T is any indicator, this was CLEARLY a traumatic experience that was due to this T's issues and inappropriate behavior toward you. There are unfortunately a LOT of bad and screwed-up Ts out there, and a really good one KNOWS that.

You don't have to provide proof, only evidence.

If this T responds to an official investigation with blameshifting or tit-for-tat or tries to expose you or hurt you in any other way, that should be and likely would be the end of their license. Confidentiality in the therapy setting constrains the T's behavior, not the client's behavior.

By the way, your analysis of your T's behavior is entirely appropriate. Even if your analysis were wildly off base (which I doubt) it would still be appropriate. Your T should be treating this whole situation as legitimate material in the therapy, and changing their behavior, not shutting you down.

Thank you very much, NyxX, Gangs and Una+. We still have all the e-mails, yes. On the 'complaint paper' we downloaded from the company, there is very little space for our (handwritten) story. So we're going to think this through to our best ability. We'll at least tell them that we don't want any contact with the T herself one on one.

TheGangsAllHere wrote: Although it never occurred to me that someone might look at that and say, "I don't care how messed up she is, there's no justification for calling a therapy patient every single night of the week."

That's so sad. I'm very sorry you were in that position. But I'm glad you know now that this indeed was the case!! Same goes for very obvious violations such as the invitation to her own e-mail.

Una+ wrote:By the way, your analysis of your T's behavior is entirely appropriate. Even if your analysis were wildly off base (which I doubt) it would still be appropriate. Your T should be treating this whole situation as legitimate material in the therapy, and changing their behavior, not shutting you down.

**Maybe a **TW** because young and maybe unappropiate**

Thank you, Una+. We asked her two or three times why her behavior/what happens between us would be off limits to analyze/discuss; how are we going to learn about behavior and healthy attachment then? We just could not understand this way of thinking in a T and then we thought we were completely wrong about how therapy should be. And then most of us thought we were projecting and being paranoid and we all felt untreatable because we know we do that a lot. But R explained to us that she wasn't thinking clear and should have backed off. And we were right about her having the same condition and about wanting to talk about that because that can seriously complicate the treatment and that's not selfish or mean. She was very mean but we weren't. We were very careful to not say anything that could hurt her and we could prevent that because we saw what kind of damage she has and it hurts us that she misunderstood us and felt attacked. Or just triggerd. I don't know but she did the psychological abuse all over and we told her about that in the session so she used that to make sure to get to the memories. Or maybe she didn't think it through su much but that's what happened. And she shut everybody but adult R down. She only took R seriously. She had to. R knows what she's talking about and did that calmly. The T couldn't punish R R just spelled out what was very wrong and then the apology came. And then the body started to vomit. So maybe there was a cue. And we switched between éverybody all night. We almost never vomit because we aren't allowed and we don't know what we can do next without making things worse but adult R and Ex are going to write on the paper about it when they can think about the details without switching between everybody. That is the plan. And our teens and adults will help with the here and now for it and make sure that the B's don't get it in their face again because it was very scary for B 14 to front when a T is there and to also ask her if she has it and even the B's said nothing that could hit the damage in her and J didn't even bother to get involved because she was too obvious and not a psychopath but with the sadistic and narcissim traits very much. And she tried to isolate us earlier than when she invited us to the personal e-mail because when she showed us her teammembers and we had to pick a person who could be the T if anything happened to her she was negative gossiping about almost every one in the team. And then B saw she had a switch again and her face and her voice changed and she apologized for gossiping. She treated fifteen persons with DID and we don't understand how that could have happened and we hope that she doesn't treat to make more programs in the programmed ones and that's also why the adults are going to write on the paper but they won't write that because they'll think we're crazy. We stick to facts.

Er ages 5, 9, 11