Maybe TW; trauma related disorders and psychological abuse

Hi,

Most of us have been there; false diagnosis before the dissociation is recognized by T's. I think this is a complex subject. Most 'false' diagnosis multiples get, are also trauma related or, should I say; induced when genetically 'present' already, by early childhood trauma; the whole cluster b category.

What makes it extra difficult for me personally, is that my mother used to project her cluster b traits on me a lot and send me to shrinks, to a degree where a T I had, ten years ago, labeled hér with munchhausen by proxy. That same T was the only one who did several tests on me over the course of a few months I think. She ruled out almost all in my subscription, and diagnosed me with the depersonalization, (also) ptsd and maybe a personality disorder not otherwise described, because I didn't show all/'enough' symptoms of specific ones. She also brought up DID, but never officially.

It was traumatic for me that I was psychologically abused with 'accusations of disorders' when I was an innocent child who was being abused in many ways by the same person who accused me, but I've been processing that. I can finally keep things apart more, am less scared of getting labled (always had the feeling that would mean that she was right all along and that this would mean that the abuse itself was my fault), and now I'm at this point where I wonder; how to 'decode' this thing!

For example; I get how BPD resembles DID a lot, but I keep wondering; isn't it actually the same disorder, with éxtra dissociation in case of DID? Bad emotion regulation by different parts, is the same as bad emotion regulation by a whole person? The only difference is, how should I put this; the more severe interrupted awareness in case of DID? And when can one tell if a system is a 'black and white thinker' because of a personality disorder, or when a system had to rule out grey arias during childhood (victim/abuser) for protection? How does it acutally matter, the difference, in treatment?

How does it matter which traits are internalised and which ones were already there? Treatment takes longer when they were already there? How to tell the difference? When certain traits exist only in a few parts, for example?

How on earth do professionals come to proper diagnosis?:)

I'm sorry you were put through that as a child, that sounds awful ;; The mental health system and dealing with the consequences of certain diagnoses are hard enough to deal with as an adult, never mind as a child who was in such a bad situation already.

I have a dx of BPD currently but I've been trying (and so far failing) to get my psychiatric nurse to refer me to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis review. My therapist (after 11 months of sessions) is certain I have DID, but despite my nurse talking to my therapist, the claim was dismissed because "my symptoms are covered by my BPD diagnosis".

There's a lot of crossover but there are some differences. Realistically those differences shouldn't - in theory - change much for someone's treatment. I've found, however, that when people were treating me under the assumption I dealt with BPD and not DID, they were always at a loss about how to help me, which has subsequently meant many of my symptoms have gone untreated and unrecognised for years and years. Switches were treated as me being confused while dissociating, me hearing alters communicate with me was treated as intrusive thoughts, my severe memory problems were treated as an overreaction, my constant dissociation was treated as a misunderstanding on my part, any high risk behaviour was dismissed because of the covert elements to it. I only recently was able to become more aware of my symptoms and try and deal with them instead of ignoring them and being confused, and years of those symptoms being ignored or misunderstood hindered my ability to figure this out sooner.

Ultimately, I'd likely be receiving one-on-one psychotherapy regardless of whether I had BPD or DID or both on my diagnosis list, and I'm currently with a good therapist, but the problem with BPD and DID being seen as "the same" is how the symptoms are viewed by mental health professionals and the approach they take with it. The irony is my "resistance to treatment" (i.e. constantly going in-and-out of therapy, severe reactions to medication side effects) have been associated with my BPD diagnosis (which is unfair, to put it lightly), so my request for a diagnosis review and extra support has been entirely dismissed.

Symptoms can't always be neatly placed into separate boxes, especially when there's a lot of crossover between them, but at least for me I need there to be a distinction. I need to know how to frame my feelings/symptoms/experiences etc. because that helps me to make sense of it all and helps me to help myself better. I need that line between BPD and DID to exist, even if it's a thin line, so I know how to frame everything in my head. I don't know if that makes sense.

Sorry for rambling, I'm asking myself a lot of the same questions so I ended up writing a lot.

raptureblues wrote:I'm sorry you were put through that as a child, that sounds awful ;; The mental health system and dealing with the consequences of certain diagnoses are hard enough to deal with as an adult, never mind as a child who was in such a bad situation already.

Thank you <3 Feelings got to a point of despair and that's a tough one to deal with, but more and more parts are carrying it (at least, that's how it feels) and that helps a lot already.

raptureblues wrote:I have a dx of BPD currently but I've been trying (and so far failing) to get my psychiatric nurse to refer me to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis review. My therapist (after 11 months of sessions) is certain I have DID, but despite my nurse talking to my therapist, the claim was dismissed because "my symptoms are covered by my BPD diagnosis".

Oh dear, that's beyond frustrating, I'm sorry you're in this situation! Are you in a country where asking for a second opinion is your right? Maybe try to find an independent new T for that?

raptureblues wrote:There's a lot of crossover but there are some differences. Realistically those differences shouldn't - in theory - change much for someone's treatment. I've found, however, that when people were treating me under the assumption I dealt with BPD and not DID, they were always at a loss about how to help me, which has subsequently meant many of my symptoms have gone untreated and unrecognised for years and years. Switches were treated as me being confused while dissociating, me hearing alters communicate with me was treated as intrusive thoughts, my severe memory problems were treated as an overreaction, my constant dissociation was treated as a misunderstanding on my part, any high risk behaviour was dismissed because of the covert elements to it. I only recently was able to become more aware of my symptoms and try and deal with them instead of ignoring them and being confused, and years of those symptoms being ignored or misunderstood hindered my ability to figure this out sooner.

Dear raptureblues, been there done that when diagnosed with BPD and it hurts so bad in so many ways! How very strong of you that you are where you are now, despite these wrong doings from the people who are supposed to actually listen to what you have to say about this!!

Warm regards,

Robin

raptureblues wrote:Ultimately, I'd likely be receiving one-on-one psychotherapy regardless of whether I had BPD or DID or both on my diagnosis list, and I'm currently with a good therapist, but the problem with BPD and DID being seen as "the same" is how the symptoms are viewed by mental health professionals and the approach they take with it. The irony is my "resistance to treatment" (i.e. constantly going in-and-out of therapy, severe reactions to medication side effects) have been associated with my BPD diagnosis (which is unfair, to put it lightly), so my request for a diagnosis review and extra support has been entirely dismissed.

.... I'm just so sorry <3 And I agree, totally. For some reason, they 'give you a break' and put effort in hearing you out when your file says DID in stead of BPD. Which doesn't make sense to begin with.. but it's how it goes!

raptureblues wrote:Symptoms can't always be neatly placed into separate boxes, especially when there's a lot of crossover between them, but at least for me I need there to be a distinction. I need to know how to frame my feelings/symptoms/experiences etc. because that helps me to make sense of it all and helps me to help myself better. I need that line between BPD and DID to exist, even if it's a thin line, so I know how to frame everything in my head. I don't know if that makes sense.

Sorry for rambling, I'm asking myself a lot of the same questions so I ended up writing a lot.

Felt the same need for a very long time as well. Maybe also to get very clear (for myself, ánd because mental health care isn't al too respectful to people with (suspected) BPD, maybe) that I have this condition because I was abused, and not because I'm crazy/bad.

You're very welcome to 'ramble' and I hope it helped.

Bejer wrote:Thank you <3 Feelings got to a point of despair and that's a tough one to deal with, but more and more parts are carrying it (at least, that's how it feels) and that helps a lot already.

i'm glad they're helping you to carry it, i don't think we're at that point yet but it's a good goal to work towards.

Bejer wrote:Oh dear, that's beyond frustrating, I'm sorry you're in this situation! Are you in a country where asking for a second opinion is your right? Maybe try to find an independent new T for that?

i'm from the UK, over here only psychiatrists are qualified to provide a diagnosis, and you either see them privately (which costs money) or through the NHS by being referred by your doctor (which is free). so the problem is if both my psych nurse and my doctor won't refer me, i'd have to go private (so i can self-refer) or do without, if that makes sense.

Bejer wrote:Dear raptureblues, been there done that when diagnosed with BPD and it hurts so bad in so many ways! How very strong of you that you are where you are now, despite these wrong doings from the people who are supposed to actually listen to what you have to say about this!!

Warm regards,

Robin

i'm sorry you've been in this situation too, robin. thank you, it's hard dealing with it but i'm quite stubborn so i'm trying to push through it.

Bejer wrote:.... I'm just so sorry <3 And I agree, totally. For some reason, they 'give you a break' and put effort in hearing you out when your file says DID in stead of BPD. Which doesn't make sense to begin with.. but it's how it goes!

sorry for the personal rambling, it'll work out somehow, just stressful right now when everything's so uncertain. i wish BPD wasn't stigmatised so badly, it shouldn't change how i'm treated but here we are lol

Bejer wrote:Felt the same need for a very long time as well. Maybe also to get very clear (for myself, ánd because mental health care isn't al too respectful to people with (suspected) BPD, maybe) that I have this condition because I was abused, and not because I'm crazy/bad.

You're very welcome to 'ramble' and I hope it helped.

it helps me see myself clearer, which could be achieved in a different way but i don't know how else i could frame everything without using diagnosis-related labels. i feel the same, i know lots of people with BPD who have been abused but because it's not viewed as a trauma-related condition, it it feels like my trauma and past abuse have been ignored. it's not a pleasant feeling.

it did help, thank you for being understanding.