we're new here - introduction [again??]

I'm the "born one." I'm a 60yo female, but I've never ever felt my body's age.
[Someone on this forum used "born one" - we forgot who! - and we really like how that describes me]

It's been a long time since I've been on a forum and "worked on" this stuff. Maybe a more accurate way to say it, is that it's been a long time since I've CONSCIOUSLY LISTENED to my others . . . I'm to the point where I don't know who I am any more. If I'm ME or if I'm an other. Maybe I only THINK I'm the born one, but I'm really one of the others?? It feels kinda crazy.

There have been way too many changes in our lives this past year - alot to deal with! Most have been good changes, but pretty dramatic ones and one not-so-good one [we just found out that we are very sick.] But I'm very proud of how we've accepted and coped so far.

Anyway - we are on our 4th address in less than a year. All moves were for financial reasons and 2 of them were to move someplace where the husband couldn't live with us any more. We made him leave about 7 months ago. He's NOT dangerous or anything, but he's very bad for us and can't be in our lives anymore. He's an active addict and totally insane.

So we made him leave and haven't heard from him at all. It's been very nice without the daily drama! But he called 2 days ago and wants to come back. He's making all of the same promises that we've heard a thousand times already. We were together for 26 years so it's not easy to say no. So we just don't answer the phone or the voice mails or the texts.

We have c-ptsd. We are having nightmares and flashbacks and it feels like there is constant switching going on. So whoever it is that's in charge, has decided that we all need a place to be able to speak like we used to. We all agree on that, even tho not all of us agree on the not talking to the husband part.

Whichever one of us is the born one doesn't know who's all here. She only knows 3 - boo, darkling and Cikán. We are afraid it's going to upset her when she finds out, but it can't be helped. WE HAVE TO KEEP THE HUSBAND AWAY - even tho it feels like it'd be nice to have him hug and hold us when we are afraid cuz we're sick and maybe dying. It won't happen the way we want it to. It never has.

Thank you for reading this long post. I think it's mostly to just say "Hi! We're here now." We don't know how to make our signature and it's prob'ly gonna change. I don't really have an identity, age or status yet. I don't think I'm a protector like boo and darkling. I don't think I'm smart enough to be a helper like Cikán. IDK. Doesn't matter right now. Everyone just needs a place to think and write.

boo F 3yo 1st protector
darkling F slides 15 - 34yo. protector
Cikán F ageless adult - "Helper" - very, very wise and good at explaining

and whoever I am.


bipolar, gad, did, c-ptsd

Welcome, again.
Good for you (all) for sticking to your guns about the husband. Maybe if he actually MAKES the changes then y'all can talk about a reconciliation. But my ex was (still is) like that, so I know what you mean about hearing the sane lines for all those years.

And it was me who used "born one " we're really happy the term has helped you and is relevant for your system.

To make your signature (took me a while to figure it out to)...towards the top left of your screen you should see a link that says "user control panel." Cluck that. Now you'll be at the control panel. At the top of the control panel box you'll see tabs. One of the tabs says "profile." Click that. Then, on the left, you'll see a link that says "edit signature." Click that and you can type and customize your signature.

Kitten

Welcome Boo and others! I'm Juri. I'm twelve and I'm mute

This is a great place to come and let your feelings out and talk to others like you. This is a safe place for everyone really.

The only thing that will stop someone from posting is of you don't have fingers. But even they find a way through those that can type so it all works out in the end.