Guess who's back, back, back, back again!

Hey everyone! It's Jade and Co.

We've been gone for a while, and our life has been a roller coaster of unpleasantness.

December 7th 2016, my outside Littles, aka my children were removed from my care. After many lies because of Narcissistic CPS/DCS providers and a Narcissistic living partner (aka Matt), I was forced to voluntarily give up my rights to my boys in order to still be in their lives/have any sort of contact.

Along the way we discovered that we are Transgender, got a job at UPS, discovered more alters, discovered that we love UPS, and ended up pregnant again.

I/we still have not learned sign language because of other things demanding our attention but it is still on the to do list.

Newly "discovered" alters are Sam Grest (after the kid who loved pickled onions in Cirque Du Freak)- who used to be Daryn, Tyreal- who's blind, Lexi- who is deaf, and the Pagan Twins (don't ask me that's what they introduced themselves as- they don't have names yet.) The one who took the name Daryn is also mute like Juri and acts as Tyrael's eyes. And the one who took the name Star hasn't been awake for a while so I don't have much to say about her.

Oh yeah, there seems to be another Little; we're working on coaxing it out- it seems to be feral or has animal qualities. A door just appeared in our hallway one day and there's no light so we can't really see inside. Crow says the being is small- about Josi's size- but even he wasn't able to see very well and our resident vampire's room is currently "locked" because the body is pregnant.

Still no DID dx yet and not sure if we should pursue one. We also have a provisional dx of Asperger's or Sensory Processing Disorder (from research and YouTube videos we've got Asperger's as we relate to a lot of what an Aspie experiences.) Being pregnant this text around is difficult as we are experiencing nausea that is on a whole different level it seems and has arrived much earlier than the last two pregnancies. It has us out of work a lot which is frustrating to us. Raven integrated with Jade for a time but is back now- it's great to have my twin back. Marie and some of the others also integrated, but are also back.

I think that covers everything.

Hi everyone, Juri here. As you can see in the Siggy some of us decided to go back to our original age. I was one- I couldn't handle the influx of hormones that am older body brought- thankfully I didn't lose the mental maturity I needed to handle all of my anger/rage. Big Josi is still gone, still integrated, but I've also found a new emotion: happiness and a fondness for collar type necklaces; it's all thanks to Big Josi. I'm glad that I can experience more than rage and anger now, and I'm glad to be 12 again. My hair is longer now, I decided not to cut it when I de-aged; I love my long hair, and I love even more when Josi brushes it as I find it relaxing.

Well, that's all for my update! I hope to hear from some of you soon!

Welcome back.

Lightfire wrote:Welcome back.

Thanks! How have you/ you all been lately?

#######5, but that's normal these days. You guys ok?

Lightfire wrote:#######5, but that's normal these days. You guys ok?

Oooo... That doesn't sound like it's been very pleasant. We're sorry to hear that.

We've been alright I suppose now that everything is slightly calmer. I really miss the kids. They're so fun. And I'm in agreement with Marie. Doesn't sound like you've been having a pleasant time. Safe hugs if you need and or want them. Raven says she hopes things brighten up for you and sends safe hugs as well. (She didn't feel like typing- she's not feeling well today.)

Doesn't sound like your life/lives are great at the moment either. My problems are large but losing kids ain't on that list. I'm sorry you're going through that.

We're sorry about your struggles and I hope that you can get your children back. I can't imagine how hard that was for you.

Lightfire wrote:Doesn't sound like your life/lives are great at the moment either. My problems are large but losing kids ain't on that list. I'm sorry you're going through that.

Thanks. It's been really rough.

We're sorry about your struggles and I hope that you can get your children back. I can't imagine how hard that was for you.

Unfortunately that won't happen, at least right now. We had to sign our rights away, which means that we are legally childless- well, until this newest one is born. Jade was told that there's a slight chance that we may get to readopt, but that won't be possible until they are teens, which is many years away.

It's so unfair. Raven did everything they asked her to do and they were big poop heads and made up lies like she threw one of the kids into time out when she didn't. They were just mad that she asked questions and that she was blunt. Raven said that they're narsistic (Josi means narcissistic) and that those types of people get really mad when you don't do what they tell you, exactly the way they tell you, without asking questions. They acted just like Raven's adopted mommy.

How could they make you sign your rights away? And who cares about time out? We've seen people who beat their kids, smoked weed in front of them, left them at parks. The list goes on, and they never even got visited by cps. What happened where they had that kind of leverage to make you do that? If you don't want to say i'll leave it alone.

Narcissists. We just went through another level of hell thanks to one. Challenge their "authority " they have to come back twice as hard.

Lightfire wrote:How could they make you sign your rights away? And who cares about time out? We've seen people who beat their kids, smoked weed in front of them, left them at parks. The list goes on, and they never even got visited by cps. What happened where they had that kind of leverage to make you do that? If you don't want to say i'll leave it alone.

Narcissists. We just went through another level of hell thanks to one. Challenge their "authority " they have to come back twice as hard.

Yep sounds about right. And they hate when you call them out on their behavior to amd try diversion like none other.

Our mental health was brought into play. Originally we were searching for a T that could dx us with DID so that we could get help. I had realized that we were losing time all over the place and we weren't handling stress well and all that. We wanted to get out stuff together so we good be a good parent to the kids, and we had been told (before all this went down) that Raven's adopted mom had said we have DID and that a friend of the family had even talked to one or a few. When we were looking for help we told someone through an agency called Healthy Families who seemed cool at first.

When they came out December 6th we refused to talk to them because this had been the third time they'd been called. The judge we saw the next day didn't like the fact that we chose not to vaccinate and ordered the kids be in CPS custody amd sent for an emergency check up at Riley that day. They checked out fine. They were healthy but small (and the body os 5'2" so what do you exepect).

After that it was one thing after another. Juri tried to speak with the T and Raven was told basically she was making it up and she didn't think we had DID.

They tried to pin us with Munchausen (Facticious Disorder is what I think it's called now) because of our higher than average knowledge, especially when it comes to medical stuff. Raven has an adopted sister that is immunocompromised and we all watch a lot of medical shows.

Thanks they tried to say we stopped taking medication. We didn't, they just didn't like the fact we stopped taking Zoloft and switched to Gabapentin. They said that the Zoloft made me more workable and really helped with the Intermittent Explosiveness Disorder. We went off of it because we were having really bad side effects. It was messing with our sleep and we had started having worse tremors and it made us increasingly foggy Bec of sleep deprivation.

And after that it was more on our mental health and how Matt and Raven argued and she was abusive to her providers and a whole bunch of other bs. Matt was never supportive of Raven, and they always took Matt's side in any and every argument. Even after Raven owned up to the mistakes she felt she had truly made they said she was still being uncooperative and put her needs before her kids' which was a downright lie.

It was a mess. Raven was a mess for a while. She's recovering now but it's slow going. I'm just enraged any texts I think about it because of how unfair it all is.

We were never given the support they swore to give and they didn't respect my plea for new providers because "They had already been there too long."

And I just realized I never answered your question Crimson. It was forced because they would have used all the lies they made to say the judge to terminate our parental rights. When rights are involuntarily taken the children are put up for what's called a closed adoption, which means that we would have no contact with the kids until they turned 18.

The original plan was Guardianship but the providers that I had didn't like the fact that we didn't have a problem with that. It was the T who spontaneously suggested adoption at a hearing that was originally going to be to award guardianship to the then "foster parents" and because we never recorded any of the visits and it was Matt's, the providers', the case manager's, and the case manager's lawyer's word against mine, my lawyer's and my Psychiatrist's it was suddenly switched to adoption.

If we wanted to be in the kids' lives our only option was to voluntarily give up our rights, which makes it so the adoption is open and we get to spend time with the children.

I hope that answered the question, amd sorry for rambling like that earlier.