How can you get to know your other "Personalities" better?

Hello, I recently posted about having problems with both Freedom and Wolverine. I believe the issues may be getting a little better, but still need some work. I do believe that I misunderstood them though. I originally thought that they were persecutors modeled after the bullies, but I might be wrong about that.

I finally was able to get through to Freedom in "our" journal. She told me why she is the way she is. Turns out it was because she took the worst of the bullying. She was shocked that I was concerned about her. She told me before this that she hated me, but she seems to be changing her mind slightly.

As for Wolverine, I managed to talk to him in one of my dreams the other day. He refuses to write in the journal. I called for him and some other person asked me if I seriously wanted to talk to him. I told them yes, and they hollered for him. He walked in the room with a group of men. (Not sure if the other people were other personalities or just dream characters)

When I saw Wolverine walk in, I panicked because he looks super intimidating with all of the black "paint" around his eyes. His body language screams, "Don't mess with me". He looked exactly the same as the 1st time I saw him. When the person (who called him) pointed to me and told him that I was the one that wanted him, He glared at me and walked over. I realized that I was saying out loud that this was a very bad idea. I was literally terrified of him. He was amused to see that.

Before he got too close I told him that I come in peace, that I just want to talk. I apologized for attacking him the very first time I saw him (I lost that fight big time bad). I told him that it was a major misunderstanding on my part and that I was very sorry. I asked him if he was one of my personalities or just part of the dream (to clarify). He told me that he was one of my personalities, but I could tell that he hated to admit that. I tried to find out more about him, but I didn't get a lot of info. I just know that he is super strong, a shape-shifter, and "Bad to the bone" (His words). Not 100% sure, but due to his outfit, I would say he is a Biker.

He may not be as bad as I originally thought he was though. I believe we shared co-consciousness today since I was extremely depressed. I felt stronger and I felt as if I walked like him (My walk was definitely different). In my mind, I could see him and I felt like I was able to rest my head on his shoulder. He didn't seem to like that, but he didn't shove me away either though.

I was wondering if there was anyway to get to know your other personalities better? Also how you can find out about the others (I know that there is a lot more that I don't know anything about yet)?

Wow. Exactly like you're doing. You ask inside, express your sincere wish to get to know them and to get along with them, and be open to whatever happens.

What you did seems incredibly brave to me--good job!!

That's pretty much what you have to do. Reach out and wait for a response. Over time get to know your alters and what they want. Just stick with it and you'll have the alters closest to you on your side.

It sounds like you are doing great with what you are doing, super stuff!

I'd suggest perhaps entering stories with them that they might understand. I only say this as one of your peeps is called 'Wolverine', and it made me think 'X-Men'. Do you guys like X-Men? I know that Wolverine and Cyclopse have a weird love-hate, work together relationship that works quite well. Wolverine also respects the Professor (so you could have an in-betweener to help).

We do this a lot, as its finding stories we all understand that works best for us.

Lucy - One of many in the Albion System

It already sounds like you're doing great!
We personally find directly talking to each other better then journaling (we journal to keep track of what happened that day and important notes and stuff) so if you are able to do that, that might be a way to go.
We also find that doing things that entertain each other is a great way to connect, so movies, adventures, wandering around the world ect, with just us, gives us time to learn more about each other
Best of luck!

Ponyta wrote:She was shocked that I was concerned about her. She told me before this that she hated me, but she seems to be changing her mind slightly.

Before he got too close I told him that I come in peace, that I just want to talk. I apologized for attacking him the very first time I saw him (I lost that fight big time bad). I told him that it was a major misunderstanding on my part and that I was very sorry.

You are doing GREAT! You are on the right track. Keep it up. It will take time for them to open up and trust you, but this is a great start.

Several of my wife's insiders had that same shock of, "no one has ever ___ before." Whether the blank was thanked me, cared about me, given me anything, respected me, listened to me, etc., it sure helps open doors to begin a conversation and develop trust.

Congratulations on the progress!! I've remember reading your other posts so I know what a big deal this is!

You're doing a great job. Keep on doing what you're doing. Talk to them. Remind them that you want to be friends. Apologize for rejecting and fighting them and let them know you want to work together. Don't fight them if they want to come out.

I used to get TERRIBLE headaches right before a switch and they would be there for a long time when I "came back." Turns out they were trying to get out to front, and I was fighting them. At first it was subconscious, later I was doing it on purpose. So now, if Britney wants out, she "taps me on the shoulder," (that's the best way I have of explaining it), and I move out of her way and let her come forward.

We've also set up a house inside. The family room has a big picture window that looks to the outside. And anyone who wants to be aware of what's going on can come out of their room and watch. Then, "tap," the fronter on the shoulder if they want to switch out.

We spend quite a bit of time in the "family room," together. But each person has their own room they can go in and lock the door. And they can choose to let another in their room or not. The exception is Little Wolf, she lives in a forest she's created. And the forest has a boundary that somehow the others can't cross into without her permission. Britney got in once when she wanted to hide from everyone. No one is even sure how that happened, but now she lives in her own little cottage in the forest and Little Wolf co-habitates with her. It's very strange I know.. but both of them can go into the Family Room anytime they want to.

I had a lot of issues with Britney in the beginning. I started by writing her a very sincere apology note. I told her I had been scared of her and her needs/wants, and so I pushed her away and shoved her down. I told her I would stop doing that, and I wanted to work at being friends. Since then she started talking to me, and we've both worked at bettering our relationship. We're not quite friends yet, but we don't hate each other, we can co-concious, and we can cooperate. I call it "Friendly Acquaintances."

Hope that helps. Sorry it's long.

Kitten

P.s. I think the fact that Wolverine let you co-conscious with him, and didn't shove you off of him when you put your head on his shoulder is as HUGE HUGE HUGE step. Let me ask, did it make you feel safe? You should thank him for letting you hang out with him. And if he made you feel safe, acknowledge that. Say, "I may not remember what happened before, but I know it was you who kept me safe. Thank you."

Hello, Thank you all for your responses. I greatly appreciate all of your comments and advice. Sorry it took so long for me to reply though.

ItsJustUs wrote:
P.s. I think the fact that Wolverine let you co-conscious with him, and didn't shove you off of him when you put your head on his shoulder is as HUGE HUGE HUGE step. Let me ask, did it make you feel safe? You should thank him for letting you hang out with him. And if he made you feel safe, acknowledge that. Say, "I may not remember what happened before, but I know it was you who kept me safe. Thank you."

Yes, it actually did make me feel safe.

sleepingwolf wrote:It sounds like you are doing great with what you are doing, super stuff!

I'd suggest perhaps entering stories with them that they might understand. I only say this as one of your peeps is called 'Wolverine', and it made me think 'X-Men'. Do you guys like X-Men? I know that Wolverine and Cyclopse have a weird love-hate, work together relationship that works quite well. Wolverine also respects the Professor (so you could have an in-betweener to help).

We do this a lot, as its finding stories we all understand that works best for us.

Lucy - One of many in the Albion System

Honestly, I'm not sure why he picked the name. I've been trying to figure that out. I don't remember if I/we ever watched X-men before. Maybe..... I just can't remember. I do know however that when I was younger I loved researching about all different kinds of animals. I was thinking maybe....just maybe...it has to do with some traits of the real wolverine animal, but I could be wrong. It could be due to x-men like you mentioned though.....not sure. I'll have to ask. I do know that he has a villainous "feel" about him though.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:
What you did seems incredibly brave to me--good job!!

Thank you! I was literally terrified of him though. Don't know why exactly, it could be due to all of the black "paint" around his eyes, but he is super intimidating. Maybe due to his outfit as well.

I love all the ideas and responses. I think it was super brave of you to put yourself out there and meet Wolverine head on and let him know that you really want to be a part of him and to know him. Also, I think it could help him to respect you too. That might help break some of the barrier down of the 'tough guy' image to help you get to learn about him more.

Coles

LadyColes wrote:I love all the ideas and responses. I think it was super brave of you to put yourself out there and meet Wolverine head on and let him know that you really want to be a part of him and to know him. Also, I think it could help him to respect you too. That might help break some of the barrier down of the 'tough guy' image to help you get to learn about him more.

Coles

Thank you!


Hopefully I'll be able to learn more about him. I did learn some things lately though........


I do know now that Wolverine likes certain music like "Bad to the Bone"...........George Thorogood and the destroyers, "Monster"..............Skillet, and other hard rock/metal songs. Hopefully he likes that I added those songs to our playlist.

I also know that he likes motorcycles and is the leader of a gang (In "My" mind). I think that the gang members could possibly be other personalities as well (I have a strong feeling that they might be), but I'm not 100% sure. He however wouldn't tell me how many there are in his gang though. When I asked, he said it was none of my business. So yeah, he still doesn't like me. I think our relationship is a tad better since I apologized, but I can still sense the "tension" between us.

I don't understand why he acts one way one time and then a different way next time though. Like he allowed me to be co-conscious with him that one day and allowed me to rest my head on his shoulder without shoving me away, but today he seemed meaner for some reason. He tried to come to the "front" and I allowed him to. We were co-conscious, but then he tried to shove me out of the way. I don't know why, but I didn't like that and I shoved him back. He had a grin on his face like he thought it was amusing. I then felt as if I did the right thing (almost like he was testing me for some reason). Not sure what that was about, but he smiled at me then- and allowed me to stay co-conscious with him.