Are we faking/advice for confusion?

We sometimes use “I” instead of “we” to mean all of us and/or the one fronting at the time. Some non-DID person said that they take that as a sign that someone is faking. Are they right?

“I” don’t always know which “I” am (if that makes sense). Is that a sign that we’re faking? If we aren’t fake, what can we do to help with this confusion?

We don’t always know which traits belong to which. (For example, we have different orientations, but aren’t sure who has which orientation.) Is this a sign that we’re faking? If we’re aren't, what can we do to help clarify which of us is which?

nope. its a sign that this person is faking knowledge.

Baldanders wrote:We sometimes use “I” instead of “we” to mean all of us and/or the one fronting at the time. Some non-DID person said that they take that as a sign that someone is faking. Are they right?

“I” don’t always know which “I” am (if that makes sense). Is that a sign that we’re faking? If we aren’t fake, what can we do to help with this confusion?

We don’t always know which traits belong to which. (For example, we have different orientations, but aren’t sure who has which orientation.) Is this a sign that we’re faking? If we’re aren't, what can we do to help clarify which of us is which?

I've said this many times to people on here, including once today already: If you find yourself wondering if you're "faking," I think it's essentially proof that you're NOT.

Think about it--someone who is faking something is doing it on purpose for a reason that somehow benefits them (with illnesses this usually has to do with getting money or getting out of doing something or fraudulently improving their situation in some other way). They don't spend time wondering what they're doing!

Also, where did you get the impression that you're supposed to already know everything about your system?

The way to clarify things is to ask inside about them and hope that your communication with other parts improves. Nothing is clear cut and no two systems are the same. Some parts could be less separate from each other than other parts. Some could be co-conscious with each other. Some things may not need to be clarified, unless they are interfering with your functioning.

Chances are if you have to ask if you're faking you're most likely not!

And that person is incorrect, the usage of I/we varies per system we find.

For example we tend to use 'I' when talking about ourselves (I like cake, I am tired) but 'we' when talking generally (we went to the park, we stayed up late)
You use what you're comfortable with.

And personality traits/emotion confusion is very common in fact it's more a sign that you arent faking then you are. The best way is to ask each other directly what goings on so you all can understand each other a bit better.

Good luck!

We use 'I' because its seen as more acceptable, if you refer to yourself as 'we' ..people say 'who's we?' (ie you and who else) and because we've never told anyone about the characters and are trying to pass as 'a single entity' (lol! for want of a better description!)

And usually the person writing at the time is just one of them. The only difference for us is one of mine functions at the level of an autistic teen and communicates (most effectively) entirely by writing, her speech tends to be just echolalic. so she always refers to herself as 'you' or in the third person 'Kit wants etc'. 'Do you want a drink?' meaning she wants one. Kit is the 'original person' who the body belonged to before any other personalities were formed.

On this board is the only time I've (Thea writing at present) ever referred to the other characters and said 'we'.

In public each of us always says "I/me" regardless of who is fronting.

In private with the few people that know (our husband, one friend, the Therapist, and on here) it can sometimes be "I/me," or it can sometimes be "we/us."

For instance. Britney and I both say, "Our husband." Delilah says, "Husband or the husband."

But let's talk about favorite foods. Let's use ice cream, for example. If talking in general about ice cream, in trusted company, we'll say, "We all love ice cream." but if the fronter is talking about her favorite ice cream it'll be

Britney: "My favorite ice cream is coffee flavored. I like all the coffee ice creams."
Delilah: "My prference is pistachio. I love it, but do not eat ice cream often."
Lilly: "Me used to like mint and chip the bestest but now my favorite is rocky road."

Delilah tends to use "we/us," the most. I believe it is because she was the first known split/part and I now known she has been with me since before we were four years old. So she's grown up with me and shared the body with me for basically my whole life. So now that she's out, she almost always uses we/us, unless she is specifically talking about herself.

Britney mostly uses "I/me," she's still kindof resentful of the fact she has to share the body and we have one life that we have to get through together. SO, she always uses "I/me," unless she's talking about all of us as a whole.

And Lilly goes back and forth depending on her mood or what she's talking about.

Does that make sense?

So that person who said you were faking because you sometimes use "i/me," and other times use "we/us," they don't know what they are talking about.

It all just depends on the system, and which part in the system is fronting at any given moment, as well as the type of situation you are in (private or social).

Kitten

TheGangsAllHere wrote:Also, where did you get the impression that you're supposed to already know everything about your system?

Maybe not everything, but I get the impression other people are able to tell which alter they are. Earlier today, I wasn’t sure if I was Hyde, Chris, or Aubrey. If we really were separate people, wouldn’t I always know for sure which I am?

Nope.

I don’t know what’s true for your system. Maybe they share a lot of traits, or front in a blended way. It’s whatever way it is, and the more you communicate with them, the more you will understand.

Baldanders wrote:Maybe not everything, but I get the impression other people are able to tell which alter they are. Earlier today, I wasn’t sure if I was Hyde, Chris, or Aubrey. If we really were separate people, wouldn’t I always know for sure which I am?

Nah, sometimes we jsut don't know. Sunday, the entire day, we had no idea who we were. We still don't know who was 'here' that day, never figured it out. Maybe it was someone new we've never met before. Maybe it was a few others but blended or something.

V2 and I are similar enough that sometimes we can't even tell between us who's fronting. We have to get a pice of paper and start writing because our handwriting is distinct enough that sometimes it's the only way to tell us apart.

Try not to worry so much about comparing yourselves to other systems, how other systems work. I know it's hard not to, but comparing can often lead to doubts and denial. Like Gang said, just focus on your own system and working on improving communication and understanding.

Violet 1

Hi,

Host worries all the time that he's faking DID but then we remind him that he's not. We use 'I' mostly because we learned early that people get weird about us using 'we'.

Iain

Don't let non-DID people tell you about your experience. They don't know sh*t about what they're talking about.

Colin