Can't seem to find anyone who understands

I have not been diagnose as of yet.

I know for sure i have dp and dr as I type this i feel like someone else's hands are doing the work.

Doctors don't seem to understand they brush it off. I've seen many therapist. Who never know what I'm talking about when I say I don't feel real or I feel like someone else. I also recently saw a neurologist who told me to see a therapist

Lately I've been having extreme depersonlization and I wonder at times if this could be DID. I have two voices in my head mines and another one. She sounds like me but isn't. I feel far back in my body as I type this. It's keeping me up at night I only sleep during the day. My whole body feels floaty. I don't black out or anything.

TO have DID you have to black out right? And lose time? I never lost any time just disconnected from my body.

I've had scans on my head so its nothing physical .

I don't understand what this could be as I had a pretty good child hood, I don't remember any abuse. AS I was only ever around my mother no one else....

How can this be DID with no abuse? Why do I feel so disconnected from myself if I never went through truma?

If Doctors who brush me off all the time, felt this extreme depersonlization they would probably panic. Also sometimes my eyes do this thing where they feel like they flicker up. Can that be DID too? I feel as though I'm falling sometimes but remain consciousness

You do not need to have black outs or remember you are losing time if you do lose it. It's important to see a T that understands dissociation and the different ways it can manifest in different people.

If your in the UK PODS can help there office is only open Tuesday afternoons so they are not the most efficient but they do have an extensive list of people that might be able to help.
https://support.pods-online.org.uk/find-a-therapist

The ISTSS have a similar resource for international inquiries but it is less extensive
http://www.istss.org/find-a-clinician.aspx

Thanks for sharing and I hope you can feel ok.

I would recommend keeping all ideas and options open, and exploring what feels right and what works for you. You'll learn good health practices and mental health knowledge as you go, and that is always a good thing.

I've had similar issues, and often still do. But really I try to remember all I'm after is balance, and any label, idea, name or anything like that is only ever an aid to balance. We just need to find the tools to create balance, thats all.

Good luck!

Lucy - One in the Albion System

UnerealJewels wrote:TO have DID you have to black out right? And lose time? I never lost any time just disconnected from my body.

I think it's just amnesia - nothing about having blackouts and lost time, just amnesia. And that doesn't have to even be for current day stuff, it could be amnesia for past events, including traumatic ones.

If there's no amnesia at all, but you still dissociate and have parts, then they'd call it OSDD or DDNOS. But its all handled the same anyways so it doesn't really matter.

FWIW we were positive we had no amnesia, no blackouts, and no lost-time, until we started journalling. Then we found out you can have amnesia for your amnesia, and the brain is really good at 'hiding' the gaps. Like just going from one mundane thing to another, then you realize 30 minutes or an hour or a day has disappeared.

UnerealJewels wrote:I don't understand what this could be as I had a pretty good child hood, I don't remember any abuse. AS I was only ever around my mother no one else....

How can this be DID with no abuse? Why do I feel so disconnected from myself if I never went through truma?

The thing with DID is often we don't remember the abuse that caused it, cos it was so bad that our minds had to block it away, wall it up, and so it gets forgotten.

The other thing is, we tend to focus on abuse, but the actual cause is trauma. Yes abuse can be traumatic, but so can neglect, or emotional abuse, psychological abuse. Attachment issues with the caregivers / parents, can also be a factor.

UnerealJewels wrote:If Doctors who brush me off all the time, felt this extreme depersonlization they would probably panic. Also sometimes my eyes do this thing where they feel like they flicker up. Can that be DID too? I feel as though I'm falling sometimes but remain consciousness

Noone here can diagnose you, but we do suggest you find a better therapist, and maybe start keeping a journal. We prefer handwritten but some folks like typing on the computer better.

Good luck.

V2

VioletFlux wrote:

UnerealJewels wrote:TO have DID you have to black out right? And lose time? I never lost any time just disconnected from my body.

FWIW we were positive we had no amnesia, no blackouts, and no lost-time, until we started journalling. Then we found out you can have amnesia for your amnesia, and the brain is really good at 'hiding' the gaps. Like just going from one mundane thing to another, then you realize 30 minutes or an hour or a day has disappeared.

Similar with my wife. One insider in particular is meticulous to put everything back the way it was including browser tabs on the computer. All my wife knew was that the day "slipped away" and she didn't realize how late it was. She is also very good and improving a reason why things are the way they which I rarely ever noticed before we found out about the dissociation and I started looking for it.

I agree with everyone else and recommend getting another therapist's opinion. I did therapy for years and it wasn't until I started with this one that I was officially diagnosed. I didn't even know I was missing time or had any issues. I just figured the lack of memories was normal memory loss or forgetfulness from getting older.

Good luck and I hope you get answers as I know when you know something is wrong it is a relief to finally get your finger on the issue and to get treatment.

Coles