Our Little One Was Triggered *TW*

Our little one was triggered recently and she is not bouncing back. We do not know how to help her but it breaks our heart(s).

She is insisting that she is ugly, dumb, stupid, too little, worthless, and useless. And if she were big then things would be different.

We do not know how to help her... we are trying, but nothing is working. It does not help that she is also the one most bothered by the outside body not matching how she believes she looks on the inside. We do not know what else to do. Our husband has tried, and she is not even really reacting to his loving comments, which is extremely troublesome.

Lilly is normally so vibrant, bouncy, bubbly, giggly, and loves life. We all feel like crap (little one does not shield her emotions well, even when she tries, and right now she just does not care anyway).

Please, help! Advice. Anything!
She even tried to throw away her coloring books and colors, and she threw her favorite stuffed animal and binkie across the room and left them there for a few days.

I am not accustomed to not being able to help her.

Delilah

We're sorry that you folks are going through this.

We could be way off base, but the dramatic change in lilly's personality makes us wonder. Could there be another little that you folks don't know about, affecting lilly via passive influence?

Just a thought. We hope she feels better soon.

MDs

MakersDozn wrote:We're sorry that you folks are going through this.

We could be way off base, but the dramatic change in lilly's personality makes us wonder. Could there be another little that you folks don't know about, affecting lilly via passive influence?

Just a thought. We hope she feels better soon.

MDs

It is a good theory I had not thought about. I do not think so though. It all revolves around her hatred and jealousy of Britney. And she suddenly doesn't want to be little anymore and wishes she were big. She has convinced her self that she is too small to be useful and if she were bigger then everything would be okay and she would be more important.

We all tell her that is not true, that we love her the way she is. Our husband assures her how special she is to him (he calls her his Super Special Girl), and that he'd be sad if she ever went away. But she has convinced herself that she is loved less than Britney and is not important. *sigh*

We went through something similar with Britney, and honestly I don't even know what pulled her out of it.

Delilah

You can try having Lilly write (or dictate) all of those feelings into a journal, and then maybe also write how she knows those to be true. Who is telling her that? (In our system, there are a couple of protectors that have a lot of influence on certain littles. It used to be protective in the past for us to believe those sorts of things, so it would hurt less to be treated that way). Try to find out why she feels it's bad to be little. Also, it's a contradiction for her to not like having a grown up body that can do lots of things and also be complaining that it's bad to be little because she can't do things she wants to do. It might be worth getting more of an understanding of that because sometimes contradictory beliefs can be a way to gently introduce the process of questioning beliefs that have been held unquestioningly before.

Also, can she either describe her feelings to the T or bring the journal for the T to read how she feels? One of our littles who very strongly feels worthless and like a bother was helped a lot just by having the T read how she was feeling and then seeing how much he cared (he has hugged the journal, or run his hand over the page--basically accepting those feelings and showing that he knew how painful they were).

It's very likely that you have more than one little in your system, especially if the one that you've known is a happy one, so I agree with MDs. You may want to ask inside about that.

This is kind of a rushed answer because I have to leave to go somewhere, but those are some thoughts off the top of my (our) head.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:You can try having Lilly write (or dictate) all of those feelings into a journal, and then maybe also write how she knows those to be true. Who is telling her that? (In our system, there are a couple of protectors that have a lot of influence on certain littles. It used to be protective in the past for us to believe those sorts of things, so it would hurt less to be treated that way). Try to find out why she feels it's bad to be little. Also, it's a contradiction for her to not like having a grown up body that can do lots of things and also be complaining that it's bad to be little because she can't do things she wants to do. It might be worth getting more of an understanding of that because sometimes contradictory beliefs can be a way to gently introduce the process of questioning beliefs that have been held unquestioningly before.

Also, can she either describe her feelings to the T or bring the journal for the T to read how she feels? One of our littles who very strongly feels worthless and like a bother was helped a lot just by having the T read how she was feeling and then seeing how much he cared (he has hugged the journal, or run his hand over the page--basically accepting those feelings and showing that he knew how painful they were).

It's very likely that you have more than one little in your system, especially if the one that you've known is a happy one, so I agree with MDs. You may want to ask inside about that.

This is kind of a rushed answer because I have to leave to go somewhere, but those are some thoughts off the top of my (our) head.

Thank you. We appreciate the insight and suggestions. We actually have a session with the T tonight for the (outside) children, perhaps there will be time to speak about these things with her this evening.

Why do you both suggest there may be another little we don not know about?

Delilah

Little often form as trauma holders. The ones that come into existence in the moment of trauma so bad the system can't accept it. And then they get stuck in that moment never changing never ageing.

ItsJustUs wrote:Why do you both suggest there may be another little we don not know about?

Delilah

We have a boatload of personal experience with passive influence. One person acts out of character, and upon further investigation, someone else inside was influencing them without anyone else's knowledge.

We also discovered our system in stages. It took us seven years to find everyone. This is a common experience among multiples that we've known.

Good luck with your T session. We hope it helps.

MDs

Sigh. You all were right. There's someone new.

dissociative-identity/topic207739.html

Kitten

We wanted to leave a message for Lily. Will her bigs please tell her because we haven't seen her type maybe she types in the little thread but we don't look there because little are sad there.

I don't know how your inside works but in our inside the most important job is to be little and happy. Z says the bad man tried to take away our innocence and joy but we hid it instead. And she means she hid me. I think it might be the same for you because your bigs said Delilah used to lock you away to protect you or something like that.

The others had to deal with some really bad things. Things I'm not allowed to know about and Z says they could do that because I gave them a reason to keep fighting and keep trying. And that I just need to keep being happy and innocent and that helps them be strong.

So the bigs can do different things and be strong and deal with scary and bad things but only because they have someone to fight for. So don't listen to anyone that says you are to little because being little is most important. nyx just told me to say being little is being your systems heart.

I don't like system we are not a computer to have a system we are a person silly bigs.

The Pixie

NyxX wrote:We wanted to leave a message for Lily. Will her bigs please tell her because we haven't seen her type maybe she types in the little thread but we don't look there because little are sad there.

I don't know how your inside works but in our inside the most important job is to be little and happy. Z says the bad man tried to take away our innocence and joy but we hid it instead. And she means she hid me. I think it might be the same for you because your bigs said Delilah used to lock you away to protect you or something like that.

The others had to deal with some really bad things. Things I'm not allowed to know about and Z says they could do that because I gave them a reason to keep fighting and keep trying. And that I just need to keep being happy and innocent and that helps them be strong.

So the bigs can do different things and be strong and deal with scary and bad things but only because they have someone to fight for. So don't listen to anyone that says you are to little because being little is most important. nyx just told me to say being little is being your systems heart.

I don't like system we are not a computer to have a system we are a person silly bigs.

The Pixie

Thank you for writing to Lilly, Pixie. She'll really really really like that. She's sleeping now, but I promise to make sure she sees this when she wakes up. And we'll help her type to you.

Kitten