re certain alts. More defensive than others?

Im coming to terms with the fact that some parts of me are natraully a little more sensative and possibly defensive and quick to call you on your shyt. It causes me issues with my mom.

Im really upset at myself for acting like this but at the same time i know i have a reason for it and im proud at myself for being able to recognize it and want to tweak that agressiveness...


I feel like certain alts. Are this way because theres alts. On top of them/us and we feel a lot of anexity and actual head pressure.

WeAreOne420 wrote:I feel like certain alts. Are this way because theres alts. On top of them/us and we feel a lot of anexity and actual head pressure.

How are you any different to your alts? To them that is what you are. So I don't agree with your idea that alts behavior is because they are alts.

I think different alts reflect different needs or perceived needs you have had over your life. An angry alter could be angry because you needed to use anger or it could be because you needed to suppress it or because that alter remembers something that makes you angry for example.

If you are unhappy with how aggressive and defensive the alt has been then try to work with them so that they can express that need to aggressively defend you in a more positive way.

If you look at it like the alts ARE a defense mechanism, thats what they were created for, then it makes sense that some will be more defensive than others. You shouldn't be upset with yourself because of how one of your others is behaving. You CAN Zwork on communicating with them. If you're in therapy and the T knows a bbn out your others, then that may be a way of helping the other be less defensive as well.

I have one who flipped out in therapy when my ex-husband was on the phone. We'd just gotten done with the family portion and the kids were sent out of the room, one had recently told the T about everyone in our system,... so when the ex started his b.s. this time, this alt barrelled out, called him out on his crap, and just went ballistic.

Come to find out, she'd been waiting for quite some time to be able to do this.

My point is this... they are how they are because that's what they were once needed in order for us to survive. They can change and mellow out, but it takes a lot of communication, understanding and love. And honestly, they have to see that it's ok to allow themselves to change. And honestly, some may not.

My aggressive and defensive one has mellowed quite a bit. But she will always have those traits, she's just less likely to flip out over everything.

Best wishes to you.