System

Hello,
I have a quick question..
How does anyone handle going against their system? If you have to make decisions that go against your systems rules.

Quick answer; communication:)

we have negotiated a rule change

summerday wrote:Hello,
I have a quick question..
How does anyone handle going against their system? If you have to make decisions that go against your systems rules.

It would depend.
1. What is the rule in question?
2. Why do you feel the need to break it?
3. Have you weighed the pros and cons of going against the rule vs keeping it in tact.
4. Have you communicated your need for breaking the rule with the others? Held a “family meeting?”

K

I'd just increase lull them to sleep and have the other system members get what is needed to go against the rules. Then we go back and inform others in a more formal way that this was the importance. Because in society you have to be tolerant to rule changes for certain right now needs

Thanks everyone for the replys...I actually have been having a lot of trouble because I suffered a big trauma not to long ago which caused everything to shift. I use to be very self sufficient and independent but now I am not able to work and this has caused me to have to depend on family apossibly disability...it turns out that any decision that I make concerning depending totally on others causes my system great distress..but I do not have a choice at this point. I have to survive but it feels like I am going against my core rules..never to be dependent (I suppose)

summerday wrote:Thanks everyone for the replys...I actually have been having a lot of trouble because I suffered a big trauma not to long ago which caused everything to shift. I use to be very self sufficient and independent but now I am not able to work and this has caused me to have to depend on family apossibly disability...it turns out that any decision that I make concerning depending totally on others causes my system great distress..but I do not have a choice at this point. I have to survive but it feels like I am going against my core rules..never to be dependent (I suppose)

Possibility: write them a letter explaining this need and how it will be good for you (all). Point out the positives then invite them to voice their concerns?

K

Thanks K,

I will try that approach. It has been hard to manage the distress. Does anyone know of any good T's in Illinois?

Thanks

summerday wrote:Thanks K,

I will try that approach. It has been hard to manage the distress. Does anyone know of any good T's in Illinois?

Thanks

You’re welcome. I hope it helps!
K