The unknown soldier - new alter

We found a new alter. Not today, it was 11 days ago, I just wasn't ready to talk about it before. He's not any trauma holder from the past I think, so I'm not worried. As far as I know, he hasn't even fronted yet, but we just found him, felt him inside.

I am having dreams about a war. Many of us are. I have seen one nightmare about that war several times, and our new, still unnamed little has seen a dream where he is in that same war. At least Leon and I saw that little one's dream also. I don't know if there are more dreams about that war that I am not aware of. But it is a thing in our dreams, that war I do not know anything about.

We were at the movies then, 11 days ago. It was a Finnish movie, remake of the movie made twice before, based on the one of the most known classic books in Finland. It is about a war, true war between Finland and Soviet Union, which Finland lost. The story itself is fictional, but some characters are based on true soldiers the writer knew when he was a soldier, and the history behind it is true. All the details are correct. The writer was himself a soldier in that war and also interviewed a lot of other ex-soldiers to make details match the reality. It's name is Tuntematon sotilas in Finnish, which means The unknown soldier.

I felt the new one activating inside while we were watching. He is a soldier, in the very same war we have been dreaming about, and I got to know his name. I can't tell it, because it is my surname. My surname is more common as a first name, so I do not know if that is his first name or if he is using our's (and his) surname as his name, because he is a soldier, and they are not called by their first names, but surnames mostly. But it makes a lot of sense it is his name.

There is also another newer very well known Finnish book also including a war, but in Estonia (at the time Estonia was part of Soviet Union). In that book there is also a character, a soldier, who has the same name as his first name. To me there was obvious connection why the soldier in my head would have that name, we have seen it as a soldiers name in one book and it is also our surname, and if we were a soldier, that is what we would be called.

He is a soldier, so not very sensitive type of a person, he needs to be tough. He doesn't appreciate any complaining or whining. You do what you can, and if you cannot, you can still just shut up. That is all I know about him.

The war in my head concerns me. The dreams we have seen have been very cruel. I do not know on which side everybody is in that war. I hope we are not at the opposite sides with any other of us. I do know in real wars there is bad things done on both sides. But in my own head I hope they are at the same side. Me and the little one have been victims in the war, and I hope our soldier is not one of those bad people but on our side.

I have no clue what he looks like or how old he is. He can be the first adult one in our head ever. Or maybe he isn't.

Just wanted to share this. I may write another message about the dreams some other time.

Has any of you have war inside or dreams about the war? I could imagine it is not very uncommon thing to have. I don't know if our war has anything to do with any real war ever, but if it is, I would place it happening during or part of the world war 2. It is wintertime, snowy and very cold. There is a thing I would link with holocaust. But my own war can be any kind, it doesn't have to match with any real history.

We have dreams of war or combat or violent struggle so frequently we refer to them collectively as 'wardreams'. We've had them for years and years... previous host was having them long before my time.

Ours tend to be different wars / conflicts / struggles, it's not the setting that makes it 'war' so much as the story that plays out, which always includes conflict and violence. And more often than not, we don't recognize any of the 'characters' taking part. Like neither myself, or V2, or previous host, are actually in the dreams. It's like watching a film. Though sometimes we are participants, then we could be either the aggressor or the victem, or less often, just bystanders.

I'm (slowly) starting to suspect that for us, the setting and even the action / conflict is probably mostly irrelevant. I believe for us, they simply represent conflict within the system. It might not even be anything big or worldshattering, just some sort of disagreement between one or two parts, maybe manifests as a full-blown violent war dream.

I hope you get to the bottom of this and get to know your new part. Good luck.

Violet 1

Thank you Violet (1). We do also have other kind of violent dreams, that are mostly just about the violence.

***TW for violence between the stars.
Usually someone is after me and in the end I am getting stabbed (several times in the abdomen). Sometimes there are horses and they attack and bite my abdomen area. There are other kind of violent dreams as well, but those are the ones we have a lot. Also more than one of us is having dreams about being in a water full of big snakes and crocodiles. You can feel them touching the body under water and they are all around. Sometimes we have murdered someone in our dream, and we have to try to hide the body. We usually have to move the corpse several times to different places in order to hide it, or sometimes cut it in pieces. The atmosphere in those dreams is very disturbing, it makes us feel very dirty afterwards.
TW ends***

This war thing is something different. It is so clear it is the same war, and the war itself is important somehow. You know, like you can have any dream that happens inside the house. But sometimes you see a dream about the house, and things are happening in it, and you just know the difference if the house itself is part of the dream or just a background because you have to have a background.

Our war is the same in both of the dreams I remember, and it is important part of the dream. We recognize it instantly when we are there again. The dreams themselves are very short, just about a minute or so, like a flash of something we know is bigger, and we can only see little pieces of it and then we are cut out again. Not that it would be the place where we want to be. We would just want to know about it.

Hi PlanetIcarus,

That must be intense. I think we often switch fully when sleeping, because I never remember the dreams, only when co-consious with them during the day.

Dreams process information, experiences, in a symbolic way. Might you discover that your parts are on both sides, then y'all might have some talking to do:)

Maybe far fetched, but it could even be that he recognized a certain vibe from what was on a tv when you were younger that resembled this movie. Something on tv during traumatic events that made you wish you were a soldier like that?

But welcome to your new found part. (Coincidence; we're also trying to welcome a new part. He has the name I would've had if I was born a boy. The mother talked about that a lot.)

So, the dreams.. Trigger warning to both of them. They are not combat kind of dreams at all, just really cruel moments.

The first dream:

It is wintertime, snowy, very dark and very cold. The sounds are echoing in the air like they do when it's cold enough. We are in a place that looks a lot like a concentration camp nazies had. I'm standing naked next to the building made of tiles in a line with many other naked people. There are voices, crying and screaming, and the soldiers are yelling something. They push and pull us.

I am not feeling any coldness, because the tile wall I am standing next to is hot. Very hot. It's a big oven, and I'm standing in a queue about to be put inside and burned to death. Smoke is coming out of the building, people are burning there inside.

A soldier pushes me, and the side of my back is almost touching the wall. It is so hot, my skin would just melt if it touches it, and I'm scared and annoyed, about to say Hey, you can't push me like that, I almost leaned against the wall. But before opening my mouth I realize, the moment of clarity, it wouldn't make any difference to them if my skin would melt there, I'm about to go inside and die. It doesn't make any difference to anyone if I hurt myself before or not and how badly. I'm there just waiting to be burned.

The second dream:

It's the same war, wintertime, very dark and very cold. The echoing voices, his breath turning into steam. Little one is standing on the side of the road, without a coat and it's at least -20 degrees celsius below zero. His pants are down to his knees. He's standing in front of three adults, who are pointing his penis with their fingers and saying "A pedophile."

An endless company of soldiers is marching on the road on their way to somewhere unknown, always three in a row, side by side, carrying rifles on their shoulders.

The little one wets himself, and I'm waking up in a wetted bed.