PLEASE help me

I have an alt that I really want to get rid of, but he overlaps so much with the me I want to keep that it might be impossible to get rid of him and still have everything the way it needs to be. The side that I dont want is too eccentric and it exposes me to things that I'm happy to be free from. My goal is to firmly stand on the side that I want in a way that preserves all of it fragile inner workings and wont be hard to hold on to because its "slippery" or "rigid". Sometimes there isnt even any reliable way of knowing whether or not any cognitive pathway should be considered part of the alt I'm trying to get rid of. Someone PLEASE help me out

You sure you want that? Try finding out why your alt is trying to do before you get rid of him. Maybe he's trying to help in the wrong way. But if you're serious then you should look into integration.

Hello,

Do you think that this alter would be open to a meeting with you, and discussing things? He may not know your point of view, or you may not know his, and discussing may help you to come to an agreement, or at least work toward an understanding and something that is better for both of you.

I had an alter who was trying to help by waking up at guarding the body at 3 AM. That was originally helpful, but after we grew up and left the Family of Origin it was no longer necessary. After working with that alter and helping it realize time had passed and we were no longer in danger it was able to move past that dysfunctional behavior.

Best of luck!

I really don't have better answer for you than you've already got. You need to pull them closer and negotiate, and if possible for everybody's wellbeing, meet half way, give them their own time and possibilities to do what is important to them. But if it is an actual danger, it's more complicated. I'm not good with this stuff so I feel hypocrite giving advice to someone I can't follow thru myself.

We have managed to make our very active 4 yo less of a problem in everyday life by giving him a lot of time to play. And in our system it's more about everybody getting to do their things and others not complaining about it, than not allowing anyone to do anything someone doesn't like. I don't know if we are harmful to each others, but at least we are allowed to exist.

I just wanted to clarify that integration can not be forced. And it doesn't make anyone to disappear. It means you get so close with them, there is no wall between you anymore and you become as one. So there's a lot of excepting to do for that to be possible. It's not getting rid of someone, but uniting with them as one. Integration is not a real possibility with someone you don't really even want to be around with.

Trying to get rid of someone is just making them more independent. They exist, because they have been pushed away to the point they are separate from you. It didn't happen intentionally, but still, the reason there are many is the fact they hold something you don't recognize as your own thoughts. So try not to suppress them too much, but accept instead. Even if it is not possible to give them their own time. I think then it's more about still respecting them, because it is not their fault how they are, and they are there to help, with what ever way they do it or even when it's not actually helpful. That is the common advice. I know it may not be easy.

But there are no easy ways out.

<sarcasm on> Hm. Maybe the system would be better off getting rid of you, if you cannot get along with others in the system. Just a thought. <sarcasm off>

Civil war in a DID system is never healthy. To achieve peace you can do your part by maintaining a "live and let live" attitude toward other parts.

In my solution, the best thing to do would be to tell everyone to meet eachother half way. The problem is that some of these alts dont always have a reliable method for staying firmly planted in this half-way state, and staying firmly planted into something like that always feels "restrictive"

Una+ wrote:
Civil war in a DID system is never healthy. To achieve peace you can do your part by maintaining a "live and let live" attitude toward other parts.

Wow. Just... wow.

This truly just spoke to those of us who are awake. The “problem child” is not present at the moment, but I will show this to her when I am able to communicate with her again.

“Civil war in a DID system,” so very accurately describes us right now where B is concerned.