Protector integrated

I am destroyed my protector scar just integrated and i just feel so sad and i cant hold myself together. He has been doing everything from life to cheering up splits to just managing stress he did everything and yesterday after watching isle of dogs he just said he was ready to leave. He said the only thing keeping him with us was his name and if he changed his name he would leave. So he did and he disappeared. He isnt dormat cause dormat alters are still in our imaginary world hes totaly gone. My appearance in the imaginary world changed which i assume is cause im different now since he integrated into me. He just felt like i was safe. He felt like i could handle the world now and that i was ready and he left. He was my first alter considered to be core and i never thought hed be gone he never thought hed leave. He said he felt fulfilled and that everything was right. I miss him i feel like i lost my brother. He was with me since pre-k he was always there. I want him back. Any advice or i out is welcome or just support. Thank you im just so lost now i dont know what to do.

I'm so sorry you feel that lost :/
I can't really imagine what it is, I wouldn't know what I'll do if Daem disappeared. He's my other half, we need each other to be stable, I wouldn't be able to manage my life without him, and he helps all the system to feel safe. He's the big brother of the youngest.
Having him merged is my biggest fear. I don't know how the system would be supposed to work without him, and I definitly wouldn't be able to function without him. He's with me since I'm 6, even if I'm really aware of him only since I'm 11. He was a kind of big brother for me, then our relationship evolved and he's more than that now, even if we still don't know what it means. But what I know is that I don't want to lose him.

I don't want to say I'm sorry for Scar intergating with you, 'cause he seemed to be ready for it and it's still a kind of progress, even if it's hard, but I am a little bit. I know how confusing a fusion can be.

I've already had two alters who wanted to merge with me. The first one, I wasn't prepared and didn't know what would happen, and I totally freaked out and push back the fusion. That how Cassandra had been formed.
The second happen few months ago. This time, I knew what to expect and didn't push back, but gosh... I love all of my system, even Claude (but him, I wouldn't be that sad if we merged), they are like my siblings and losing Alix was hard. I know she's not really gone, I've her main traits now, but it was painfull to search her before going to bed and ended up with nothing. I had to be carefull to not split again for weeks because I knew she really wanted to merge with me, but it wasn't easy to keep it together.
Now it's not as painfull as before, but we still miss her.

If there's one thing I can advice you, it's to take your time. It's normal to feel lost and to miss him.
I hope everything will be okay for you.

Thank you i’ll try my best its just been a lot for me.

I am so sorry to hear you lost your protecter Scar. I would be devastated if I were to lose my protecter Angel or any of the others with me. It’s like losing a family member. I don’t know if there is a way for you to bring him back. I think Scar did integrate with you, because he told you he thought it was time for you to do this, and he wanted to do this. Not everybody ever integrates but it seems Scar thought this was right for the two of you. You must remember that he is with you, he is a part of you and always will be. Everywhere you go he still goes with you, protecting you from within yourself. Every step you take he takes with you and every time you speak he speaks with you, even if you don’t realize it he’s there with you, deep inside, forever your protecter.

I wish you all the best.