Please tell me my mind is playing tricks on me.

VioletFlux wrote:You 'think' you're still you, but everyting about 'you' is just a little bit different. Like you said, attitude, mindset, opinions, goals, etc are all different.

myce wrote:I am always looking through the same eyes, I am always "me." But my moods, memories, perceptions etc. change with a switch. I may identify as a distinct entity, but not necessarily.

This is exactly how it is for me, also. I didn't know I had parts--I just thought I was "moody." But now that I'm really paying attention and learning more about what's going on inside, I'm noticing that these "moods" have their own consistent memories, ways of looking at the world, likes and dislikes (including of important people in my life), etc. I almost always feel like "me"; it's only later that I realize I was different, and now I'm the "real" me and what I'm feeling is truly how I feel. Until it changes and the next set of feelings and beliefs takes over.

I've only had one or two instances of having us know that a specific part is in front while it's happening. I have also only had a couple of times when I've noticed a switch, although I couldn't necessarily tell you who was switching to who (whom?).

Thank you everyone, I think I understand this a bit more clearly. I honestly do not know where to go to from here. In a way the general happy feeling I had of the possibility of having DID is sorta faded. I more so feel content. Honestly, for the longest I've never understood how I felt because I felt so many things and didn't know what to really think as true in terms of how I really felt. When I am happy I start to think that I shouldn't be and just this past week for some reason a loud I was telling myself that I need to distance myself from my friends, that I was the only person that I needed and that I should never get close to anyone. I was ready to do such but then I stopped myself and told myself I was being stupid. I didn't know where that was coming from, I just never understood how at points in time I could be so rude and cold when I am generally a nice person.

Also quick question, are dreams related to DID? I just had a nap and well it turned weird. It made me realize that sometimes there is this re-occurring thing that happens in my dreams. No matter the dream if I start to run, I feel myself getting pulled back. It's like a magnet is slowing me down as I run and I am slowly getting pulled back into the darkness. When this happened today I woke up with a headache and it took about 6 minutes for it to go away. As soon as I woke up I just felt as if I needed to get up and not fall back to sleep as I almost did. It felt like I've tried to wake up, but couldn't and I was finally able to do so. Most of the dream just felt like I wasn't in control and when I was finally in control at the end (running away from the thing in my dream) I couldn't get far as I was being pulled back.

NathanRo wrote:Also quick question, are dreams related to DID?

Parts can express themselves through dreams. When you are dreaming things do not work by logic or laws of physics. But dreams have their own logic which is symbolism. You've had experiences that you do not remember consciously, but another part of you remembers. They may emerge as dreams, physical sensations, impressions, etc. They can come from experiences you had very early in life, maybe even before birth.