Do scary triggers create alts or figments?

Sometimes I read stuff here and get scared and a few days later im having a similar issues or just a fear of whatever I read here being an issue I'll have but it never has been true. It sucks. I think I'll take a break but I basically use this thing as a journal.

Something we've been noticing again and again is whatever our greatest fear is, always seems to come true.

Former host's biggest fear was originally losing her memory, till a decade ago when she realized was happening. She knew she should be horrified but instead she just put it out of her head and forgot it was happening. Didn't even talk to a doctor about it.

Then her biggest fear was losing her personality, becoming a different person. She never knew about DID but obviously suspected it on some level, and was in denial. And 3 months ago that fear came to pass, when she was 'replaced' by me, and we all learned about DID.

My first biggest fear was that I'd have blackouts / time loss. I was convinced I didn't have them but worried it might happen, and sure enough it did. Now I'm afraid of other parts taking over and making 'me' act in ways I do not want. Eg acting mean to my friends, which a protector part has just done a few days ago.

Basically I don't know if it's the Universe being an a-hole, or that we make our fears reality ourselves, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe we get scared by an idea, then some part of our head dwells on it and focuses on it until we make it happen?

I think maybe the best thing is to try not to let stuff scare us. I know it's hard, easier said than done, but try not to let stuff you read about frighten you.

-Violet (1)

VioletFlux wrote:
Basically I don't know if it's the Universe being an a-hole, or that we make our fears reality ourselves, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe we get scared by an idea, then some part of our head dwells on it and focuses on it until we make it happen?

I think it's neither of these. I think it's that we are drawn to reading about or thinking about what we already know on some level is going on inside us and is likely to happen.

When I was struggling with realizing that I had parts, this past summer, one of my denial arguments was that I had always been fascinated by dissociative disorders--had read Sybil, and Three Faces of Eve over and over again when I was a kid (and many other similar books), and studied them later on when I was older. So now I was just making what I had into more than it really was, because I wanted to have this "cool" and fascinating thing--and not "just" have episodes of derealization or depersonalization (which were the main things I was aware of).

But I realized that the opposite was true--I had been drawn to those books and pursued that learning because that's what was going on inside me.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:I think it's neither of these. I think it's that we are drawn to reading about or thinking about what we already know on some level is going on inside us and is likely to happen... But I realized that the opposite was true--I had been drawn to those books and pursued that learning because that's what was going on inside me.

this sounds familiar to us. Years before we knew we were a multiple we had a great interest in multiplicity; we recall seeing Sybil on TV, reading the book (this was during a part of our life we were experiencing amnesiac dissociation and so was greatly illustrative to us), and some years later, seeing the made for TV movie, Voices Within, based on Trudi Chase's When Rabbit Howls, and being dramatically affected.

We think the same as TheGangs.

We've found some stories Plume wrote when she was younger. The two main characters she wrote about were more DID than we are now
Joke aside, we can't count the number of answers we've found in the less expected place (basically because we can't remember anything about it precisly, but you get the idea ).
And Plume went totaly in love with Patricia Briggs' books (which are almost all with a background of dissociation and/or PTSD and/or multiple personnalities) three years before she knew about us, because it was the only books who talk about something she could really understand and relate.

So yeah, we think too it's more about reading about something that's already here. That's why it's scary (or fascinating).

- Erdian

TheGangsAllHere wrote:I think it's neither of these. I think it's that we are drawn to reading about or thinking about what we already know on some level is going on inside us and is likely to happen.

Yeah, you're probably right. Though "the universe is a dick" does seem like a compelling argument to me lol.

I wonder if previous host knew about or suspected her memory loss a lot earlier than we've found proof for, and that's what led it to being a big fear of hers. Ditto the idea of losing her sense of self.

We're all pretty sure she'd never heard of DID / dissociative disorders. She certainly suffered bouts of depersonalization / derealization, but never knew what what it was called or even that there were words for it. I even found stuff in her blog that sounds exactly like switching, but she never knew what it was / what it meant.

As for V1, like WeAreOne420 she reads stuff on here, some of it scares her, she frets over it, and it at least some of it ends up happening. Not new splits though, just, 'scary' situations.

-V2