Tactile input (touch) and littles

Thanks for clarifying that it would be a seated massage... I might be able to do that, one day. I really like that list of how you do massage. And the practical suggestion on how to explain it to younger parts!

Stuffies can be so wonderful.

I think it's just hard because I enjoyed finally having safe touch SO much. It's... relaxing. Soothing. It makes me want to stay with it forever. It might be the release of endorphines or something. I hope I can at least have a pet again one day.

Even if you can’t have a pet at this time maybe volunteer at an animal shelter. Walk the dogs or pet cats.
Before I had my cat ( in between cats) we went to a cat shelter just to pet cats. Very relaxing and fun. Plus it helps socialize them.
Same with dogs .
Many of the benefits without commitment

-- Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:46 pm --

This is a bit different from what you’re describing but a heating pad helps us a lot.
Not soft but warm and cozy touch .

I've always wanted to try a weighted blanket, for that reason, feeling like you're being hugged. There's plenty of science behind it. My adopted son with DID usually sleeps with several layers of blankets and since it's not about the need for heat -- he often kicks them off at night -- it seems to be the collective weight and comfort.

I realized that for many years I rarely touched anyone, aside from shaking hands. I knew this was unhealthy and could feel a yearning for being able to hug someone. One of the long list of reasons for taking into my home someone with DID was the possibility of getting occasional hugs. I had no way of knowing if this guy, eventually my son, was able to do that without getting triggered but I found he, and especially his littles definitely crave nice, safe hugs, as mine do. We hug all the time, many times each day except when we get triggered (usually me) and need to stay away for a while.

I recommend taking in and adopting someone with DID but that's not workable for many especially if you're young. And it could just as easily not be a crazy-making (it was many times). But doing something like babysitting might be a safe way to get human contact, as long as you know all of you are safe with kids.

I once went to a wedding where a little kid ran across the room and ended up crashing into my seated cousin. The kid rested there and then my cousin picked him up and held him on his lap for a while. Later I asked him who that was and he said he didn't have a clue. I thought, how great to be a kid raised in a way that you just trust people around you (it was small wedding not a mall or something). Of course, my cousin was a parent and based on the results, a decent one.

Little parts of me CRAVE touch! The problem is that I have a protector that does not want to allow it. In 15+ years of therapy, a little has held my t's hand, or a finger, or hugged her maybe a total of 5 times or so. But afterwards, even if it felt safe and good, the protector will get upset. The protector will think that it was dangerous to let the little get that close to my t. So protector will put little far away from t and not allow her to attend therapy sessions at all until she deems things are safe again (which could take weeks). In the meantime, the only ones who show up for therapy are my normal adult part (host?) and/or a robot-like numb adult that is logical and analytical but doesn't feel much.

Because of this problem, I am finding it extremely hard to comfort littles who badly want to be hugged and cuddled. I don't feel motherly toward my littles. I know should, but I just don't. I never have. I mostly feel overwhelmed whenever I get in touch with the chaotic thoughts and feelings of littles. It makes me feel unstable and scared.

I want my t to help comfort the littles until I can learn how to do it, but as long as protector won't allow it, I can't have t do it either. I can imagine comforting the littles myself, but they will know that it's not coming from an honest place of feeling nurturing toward them. They will know it's forced or out of obligation, the same way they knew my mom did it out of obligation, rather than affection.

So here is what I do to try to help littles feel touched and comforted...Sometimes, it is OK with protector for me to imagine in my mind being physically comforted by my t, just a tiny bit! Sometimes I also imagine God holding onto little's hand so she will be steady and safe. Wrapping up in blankets is good, and my t has a fuzzy pillow in her office that I rub with my hand and sometimes put against my face.

I snuggle with my husband a lot, but I think that's mostly my adult part(s). Getting a massage is ONLY for adult, not littles.

Have you tried to hug and touch the small ones in the inner world and not rely on the outside? it usually is the same for them, but easier on the protectors.