memories and alters integration

Hi everyone,

I have been going through the forum, and, I have quiet a few questions.

* If someone has memories blocks around an "uncomfortable" event, would this lead to the existence/creation of an alter?
* Do alter appear as a reminder of a memory that has not been digested by the person ?
* Do people switch into alters under stress or are there other reasons for them to switch to alters?
Can they switch to alters when happy? or when relaxed or not?

I am trying to help a person that is very dear to me :
I have noticed that this person changes when under stress, and become like a different person
and would not even remember why she did whatever.

* If someone has memories blocks around an "uncomfortable" event, would this lead to the existence/creation of an alter?

If you change "uncomfortable" to "extremely terrifying" then yes.

* Do alter appear as a reminder of a memory that has not been digested by the person?

Not a reminder. Nobody wants to remember. Alters are around to keep functioning in spite of 'disabling emotional wounds'.

* Do people switch into alters under stress or are there other reasons for them to switch...

We switch when we need to or when we have to. Stress or triggers or needing to remember something or have an ability maybe seeing a toy or trying to say something to our T. Lots of reasons.

I am trying to help a person that is very dear to me...

Maybe your friend should try our forum. We also think a counselor would help.

Hope this works out for you.

Iain and Colin

*it can happen with a comfortable event, creation of an alter

you may wish to google the 'structural theory of dissociation'. It explains dissociation in a fairly simplified but easy way to understand. Things are, of course, far more complex, but its not a bad place to start. It also is good to keep in mind that dissociative identity fragmentation is, at its heart, a defence mechanism. Children do not have the cognitive and analytical abilities of an adult and so, when traumatized (by abuse for example) by things unbearable they can split that part of self into an amnesiac bubble, leaving the greater whole to function. Then, when additional trauma occurs a split will happen again. The child has learned that dissociation is the ideal way (and in many ways it is!)to deal with trauma. As Iain mentions we don't want to remember, at all, our past trauma.

littleDaria wrote:The child has learned that dissociation is the ideal way (and in many ways it is!)to deal with trauma.

It can then become the goto way of dealing with any level of discomfort or strong feeling, and as a child gets older without having learned the self-regulation to tolerate intense feelings, they might continue to avoid them by using dissociation. It's much easier to detach or float out of your body (or push out a different alter) than to tolerate anxiety, embarrassment, feelings of attraction, etc. This basically short-circuits one's emotional development (and often social development as well), and I know that for me, it amounted to falling farther and farther behind in those areas while faking it on the surface.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:

littleDaria wrote:The child has learned that dissociation is the ideal way (and in many ways it is!)to deal with trauma.

It can then become the goto way of dealing with any level of discomfort or strong feeling, and as a child gets older without having learned the self-regulation to tolerate intense feelings, they might continue to avoid them by using dissociation. It's much easier to detach or float out of your body (or push out a different alter) than to tolerate anxiety, embarrassment, feelings of attraction, etc. This basically short-circuits one's emotional development (and often social development as well), and I know that for me, it amounted to falling farther and farther behind in those areas while faking it on the surface.

Wow, that is painfully familiar. We agree with all of it. Emotionally we're not sure what our age is but it certainly is not that of an adult by any stretch of the imagination. Socially, we are inept, OK with one on one communication, but in groups often feel outnumbered and somewhat threatened.

littleDaria wrote:Wow, that is painfully familiar. We agree with all of it. Emotionally we're not sure what our age is but it certainly is not that of an adult by any stretch of the imagination. Socially, we are inept, OK with one on one communication, but in groups often feel outnumbered and somewhat threatened.

Oh my gosh that sounds like I could have written it for myself. Totally fine with one-on-one situations, but put us anywhere with a crowd and I shut down. And 'crowd' can be anything like 4 or 5 or more.

It depends on the crowd for us. When we were in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World the crowds were not a problem, nor were the long lines, but we feel this is due to the fact that Disney World is essentially a big empathic battery for us. If we have to wait in line, say at the bank, we get pretty antsy and if a room is too crowded for us we will get pretty darn anxious. Now, if we're with friends, that helps to mitigate our anxiety.

Ambient noise is almost always an issue too; too much and we want to flee the vicinity.

Many thanks for the points of views.

Faced with an extremely traumatising situation:
- the child dissociates ( adults as well ), but children have no way of conceptualising what happens
- once traumatised, the alter allows the main person to protect itself from any memories of the trauma

So one difficulty is for the person to come at a stage, where, the horrible experience could be
reminded and talked about without feeling the horrors attached to it.

In a way, it makes completely sense that the person does everything possible to detach and not remember any horrible traumatizing experience.

Unfortunately, it will be very difficult for the person to join the forum ( langage barrier,
cultural very strong stigma around anything starting with "psy", etc). So just now, I am trying to find methods that
would allow her to be able to look into painful past events without being and feeling traumatised.