Stuck

We have our very first meeting with a psychologist tomorrow and Violet went into a panic about it on friggin Tuesday and it's been mostly me stuck here since then.

At first it was kinda fun but work is piling up and I don't know how to do all of it and that's stuff she's supposed to be looking after.

Yesterday I lost a bunch of time, not all at once but like an hour here, an hour there. Not sure if someone else was taking over or I was just like, tranced out or whatever. I think I lost some more time today again too.

Today I've been trying to get V. to take over so she can deal with her customers and stuff. She came out enough to give me a headache and let me feel her nerves, and confirmed she's afraid of seeing the doc, then she's gone again.

I don't care if she doesn't want to see the doc tomorrow. I'll go, I'll deal with that. But she needs to do her work, or I'm worried we'll get in trouble.

Is there any way I can like, force her out to deal with stuff?

-V2

force isnt a good tool. how about luring her out?
help her feel safe and supported? offering her favorites, treats, something nice, extra self-care?
encourage? praise? honor?
sometimes playing favorite music, making favorite food or similar does the trick
it sounds like she is stressed. so how could you help reduce the stress?
how could others in the system help?

Hey thanks Birdsong! Those are some good ideas.

Gotta admit I laughed a bit at the idea of luring her out with treats. Makes her sound like a stubborn cat we're trying to get to the vet or something!

She's definitely stressed but I've already said I'd deal with the dr. And that isn't even till tomorrow afternoon so it seems silly she'd panic and hide three days early.

I already asked our internal helper if she could force Violet out and she said no, but maybe she can help in other ways. And maybe asking her to use force was the wrong question anyways.

We'll give some of these suggestions a try and see how it goes. Even if we can just get her for like 30 minutes or an hour, to get the important stuff done, that'd be enough then she can go hide again if she wants.

Thanks again!

-V2

I'm kinda tired and stressed out to but we have our first appointment with a t tomorrow to so maybe we can support each other a little and share our experience. You know we are mirroring each other a little with our DID issues coming to the forefront just over a month ago. So here's to the journey:

Tortoishell et al but mainly Sophie today who has shared with me a great deal today and who is incredibably brave.

hey Violet. Sorry you are having such a hard time. Is there anyone else in your system that you can maybe work with to get some work done? If not I would just try to communicate with V and make sure she knows that you have her back tomorrow and will do everything you can to get you through this appointment but that you need her help now to get through this work. Don't force and don't make it about the consequences of not doing it just make it about her being needed right now and how important it is to watch out for each other. I hope that helps, good luck

Alexis <3

Thanks for the tips & support. I've been trying to talk with Violet, but other stresses interrupted. A phone call from the mother, looking for sympathy because she bruised herself.

I have very little patience for her, the only time she's acknowledged our existance was telling us she wished we'd all disappear. Anyways as soon as she realized she wasn't going to get sympathy she went away, but it was a stressful interruption.

So, we'll try again to get in touch with V. Thanks for the tips Alexis, we'll give that a try.

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow Tortoiseshell, I hope it goes well! And that's a great idea to support each other on this path, since we're both in about the same spot.

-V2

probably not. you want her to bolt?

gotta work together.....

So uh... I'm back this morning. Sorry to V2 for causing her stress.

I don't even remember why I was hiding? I know I was stressed but no idea why or what set me off.

Hi V & V2,

Glad you guys are working together again. That happens to us sometimes and it's kind of scary since I can't do Hosts job. I always worry I'll mess up something.

So Host wrote a manual. It's about what to do if he's gone. It's not everything just the stuff that HAS to happen. So far it's worked pretty good.

Iain

Force, is good idea you have an idea of what you expect first impression are everything sometimes. Especially if you aint get it now all of sudden it just really chugging alon in a way you can get with. Luring is a better term, or coaxing but the premiss is the same. What I got to understand is that, and it was painful we are trying to experience the same things since conversations can affect several areas. U have to allow time out once this phase is reached, maybe disconnect going blank came back or a general stuckness. I think this is why repetition and general need for some sort of way to keep it worked out the system, like brain exercises. It will be kind of a way to say well this is such as such area or work with what they both do well until they get satisfied. General co con with i'm doing this here for this reason behaving in some way, by committee.