How do I reply to this

Ok so my friend doesnt know I have DID I really want to tell her but not sure how she will react and the 1st sentence basically implies she doesnt even consider that I have it but in reality sometimes I actually just do that- switch and do stupid things.

Here is what she texted:

"Its not like flipping a switch snd suddenly you do stupid things. You were trying to get hammered, you drank those beers so fast and kept wanting to do shots. It was too much. At that point, its not even fun for us because we know youre just trying to get hammered."

Appreciate all feedback!

What difference does it make ? You’re not willing to give this stuff up it seems -so the truth is you’re going to continue smoking weed and drinking . Which she obviously doesn’t like .
I suppose you can tell her but not sure it makes a difference in outcome.

LadySlippers wrote:What difference does it make ? You’re not willing to give this stuff up it seems -so the truth is you’re going to continue smoking weed and drinking . Which she obviously doesn’t like .
I suppose you can tell her but not sure it makes a difference in outcome.

If I could I would but I actually cannot live without weed and drinking is more managable but again I also know I cant stop for good. Thing is she is not the 1 even super upset it's my other friend hasnt talked to me since cause I promised him I wouldnt get too drunk or smoke weed at all for NY and of course I did both. Problem is I actually planned to keep my promise at least for the night but of course I lost control not even sure if I was even present at all cause I have almost zero recollection of the whole night

This other friend in particular knows I got my problems and the 1 time I straight up said I have DID he said to sto0 talking nonsense so yeah deapite him knowing all of me better than most he still won't believe me so not sure what's the point of telling anyone else. And getting upset at the part of me that smoked/drank that night does me no good either. I am just such a mess :/

You are an out of control, binge drinking alcoholic who is also dependent on marijuana. Until you are clean and sober for months any mental health diagnosis is a moot question.

Try Alcoholics Anonymous.

Agree with Una. You can’t do it alone . You deserve a good life .

I agree with ladyslippers and Una. You deserve to hang out with your friends and the focus be having a good time together.

Your friend maybe wants to spend time with sober you and feels neglected when you get together and just focus on the booze. That your interest in the night is getting drunk. Not hanging with them. I dont know if that resonates at all.

you know, if they are your friends, particularly long time friends, it doesn't matter really if you are did or not. They know you for who you are, and that includes DID in the form that they see it. And for now that is all that matters. Having DID sure is a challenge but it is not the reason you need weed and booze.

I have realized I can't live a day without a coping mechanism. So my solutions is that I constantly change them up, so I don't become addicted to any of them. Because every single coping mechanism has the potential to become an addiction. I cannot live without them. So I live with them, and prevent addiction.

First off thank you for the replies even the harshness. However, while I am sometimes out control i as a whole am certainly not an alcholic I simply drink a lot when I do drink. usually after 1 drink a part I dont like takes over (so I never drink less than 2 and usually have to smoke in conjunction). Then after 3 drinks I often have a part (or maybe a couple, I wouldnt know) that I dont mind (despite being unpredictable) who will take over and I can easily out drink anyone at that point (not something I want to brag abput but just stating facts). Cutting out drinking for good is probably still a good idea though I do think this could be in my control (as long as I stay away from bars so I dont get triggered and lose control)

However, quitting weed is not an option and here is basically why (I said this in my other post as well):

it's very rare for me to feel any emotion without weed because I am only the coconciouss entity holding this broken system together and am usually too scared to let others come to the front. I alone do not feel emotion only when other parts are present (I kid you not, though it's hard to explain, but I do trip a lot because sometimes I can't tell if and who else is copresent). Not to mention it takes an exhuberent amount of energy and mental fortitude to maintiain such a complex life and prevent switches, continue interacting with people, working etc etc.

With weed I simply take a back seat and allow whoever wants to come out and feel/live do their thing and in this way usually (not always) I do not have times where I completely lose coconciousness; most of the time I am able to at least partially remember what happened when I was stoned/another part was copresent. Plus I sometimes need to communicate with a certain part and weed is the most effective way to reach said part (even if I cant distinguish the parts I still communicate with who I need to)

Anyway, I am very broken so yea not sure I will ever find total happiness and think might even be best cutting out most people- at least if not part of me is close to anyway I cant hurt or upset others when other parts do their thing

How does any of this mean you are not an alcoholic?

Una+ wrote:How does any of this mean you are not an alcoholic?

Well I think alcoholics drink on their own and also do so pretty much everyday or close to it. I can go weeks without alchol or sometimes I do drink it several days consecutively- it depends, I never drink alone and only do so at bars and with friends (also at bars most of the time). So I think there is a diffrence between abusing it occasionally as opposed to being a full on alcholic; if you disagree so be it.

Binge drinking is a form of alcoholism. It has to do with self-control and consequences, not so much with amount. But no one here is going to convince you of something that you don't want to believe.

Here's a self-test, if you're interested:

https://www.ncadd.org/get-help/take-the ... -self-test