Might have lost a close friend :(

Ok so long story short i told him I would not get too drunk last night and not smoke pot all but I did both and he is really upset now (it doesnt help I dont remember most of the night). Not sure what to do, it was a group of us (plus everyone in my head) but the other real people had no problem with me tripping and going hard but idk im too messed up still

Check into drug/alcohol treatment .

LadySlippers wrote:Check into drug/alcohol treatment .

I have no desire of qutting weed is the only thing that allows me to feel emotions not to mention whenever I try it simply is torterous and I always just relapse (6 weeks sas longest I was clean)

You could feel emotions without weed. You could feel them "in full color" and in real time, when they would do you some good, instead of after the fact while ruminating.

Una+ wrote:You could feel emotions without weed. You could feel them "in full color" and in real time, when they would do you some good, instead of after the fact while ruminating.

Actually not anymore it's very rare for me to feel anything without weed because I am only the coconciouss entity holding this broken system together and am usually too scared to let others come to the front. I alone do not feel emotion only when other parts are present (I kid you not, though it's hard to explain, but I do trip a lot because sometimes I can't tell if and who else is copresent). Not to mention it takes an exhuberent amount of energy and mental fortitude to maintiain such a complex life and prevent switches, continue interacting with people, working etc etc.

With weed I simply take a back seat and allow whoever wants to come out and feel/live do their thing and in this way usually (not always) I do not have times where I completely lose coconciousness; most of the time I am able to at least partially remember what happened when I was stoned/another part was copresent