Not many more posts

Just got my latest test results back from neurology. My tumor is 15 mm and is inoperable. Nothing honestly matters any longer. It has grown fairly aggressively and makes tons of sense now about the migraine and extreme light sensitivity. Makes all my other medical stuff seem non existent. Guess it is why it is.

This must be very hard to process. What are they going to do, as in help managing the symptoms etc?

They thought with the chemo I take for the severe arthritis that it would help keep it the size it is...they were wrong. I already take some pretty tough pain meds. It's all palliative care now. I will not be telling my family this. When it's over..it's over.

I don't know enough about you to know if your family are safe to turn to or not but it sounds like a no. Do you have anyone safe in your life to talk to? I just think us survivors are tough but we can't always manage things alone. Now is the time to be selfish and decide what it is you would like to do and not let anyone/ anything get in your way.

PinkieDobieMom: I'm sad to hear about your diagnosis. And worried about you keeping the news to yourself ...

What has the neurologist said to you? Is there a tumor or aneurysm?

Are all your parts aware of what's going on? If so, do they all feel it's over already?

I can imagine needing time for this to sink in, and wanting to keep it to yourself right now. But I'm worried it could lead to unimaginable loneliness if you don't share it with at least one person. I don't know what your family and friend situation is, and based on one of your older posts it sounds like your T isn't the most warm-fuzzy person (charging you for the missed appointment after your car fire). I guess I'd need to know a little more about why you want to keep this from others to say anything helpful ... i.e., too painful for you to share, or you're worried it will upset others, or you think it's pointless, etc.

If you're not in a place you want to answer a bunch of questions, I just want to say your instincts may lead you to want to isolate or push people away, which is why it's fantastic you're sharing here, so don't set yourself adrift just yet ... you needn't be lonely on top of being ill. Hope you're ok.

I have lived here in this place for 8 years. no friends at all. some facebook folks. it no one ever visits and I don't leave unless it's an appointment

I have an arachnid cyst and they found an aneursym in the right hemisphere. I've had a p.e. in the past. My kids live far away and they have their own lives to deal with. my mother already knows I'm ready to go. Having severe arthritis since birth it's already been a lifetime of pain. it's really OK. They don't need to know that I am going to die soon. I have survived breast. Cervical and uterine cancer.I'm ready. Thank you for taking a minute to talk to me. it's greatly appreciated.

Good journey to you. Thanks for being on the forum.

Raven

Have you been referred to a neurosurgeon? There’s treatment for arachnoid cysts.
I’m sure it’s very scary.
Hopefully you’re near a large medical center.
Hang in there

I have the best neurology team in Madison. The cyst has grown larger than they imagined but it's the aneurysm that's the problem. They can try to clip it but they may damage a significantly important part of my brain and I have rejected treatment because of the almost certain issues caused by the surgery. They have been my doctors for many ,many years. I have grand mal seizures and it's only gotten worse. It's OK. I'm OK with what I chose to do

It sounds very scary but you seem ok with where you’re at and with your healthcare providers.
Those are both very important things.
I hope you get the support you need and want.