Neeeddd yo say

Wowoosow

I need to say someyhibg (trigger is weed ace and herb)

-- Fri Dec 01, 2017 11:12 pm --

Sty hadmroe better typed theni teiped

you are welcome to come back when you feel like talking. I know it can be scary to put things out there, and not everyone may agree with doing that. But it really really helps to get things out....

take care.

SamsLand wrote:you are welcome to come back when you feel like talking. I know it can be scary to put things out there, and not everyone may agree with doing that. But it really really helps to get things out....

take care.

Hi thanks it was real bad last night and ive had a lot of crazy nights

Heads up for anyone reading i think what I am about to say may be triggering for some (maybe not but im about to type some crazy stuff)

Ok, so bascially I thought every single person I know (or dont know) is merely 1 of my alters and that I am in a big septic tank and my mind is so powerful that i created everything. It got really deep and messed up and I dont remember a large portion of the night but in my head I spun this crazy delusion i geniunely wish i could remember alll of it cause this is not even stuff you can properly explain

The good thing is I have DID not schizo per say (but at times my parts feel schizo). I know 100% it is a delusion even when it was happening but several hours i was stuck in this crazy world kept thinking and finding ways to make sense and justify it while looking at the external world from a 4th person (i do have high conscious even in states such as this but another part of me created the delusion i merely had to navigate the body and feel/think what the rest of my parts where trippping)


Anyway I know this is crazy

i wouldn't say it is crazy but definitely hard to work with.

I have moments of loss of reality too. i try to focus on my curiosity of it rather than the fear (when I am over it).

were you smoking weed? (gleaned that from the first post).

There are different types - some enhance dissociation. That is probably good for a non-dissociative person but for a dissociative person - NOT good. IF so can you spend some time looking for a variety that will treat more specifically what you are trying to treat - pain, sleep etc.....

SamsLand wrote:i wouldn't say it is crazy but definitely hard to work with.

I have moments of loss of reality too. i try to focus on my curiosity of it rather than the fear (when I am over it).

were you smoking weed? (gleaned that from the first post).

There are different types - some enhance dissociation. That is probably good for a non-dissociative person but for a dissociative person - NOT good. IF so can you spend some time looking for a variety that will treat more specifically what you are trying to treat - pain, sleep etc.....

Yes I was and I found out this specific strain aint good for me. Usually i go pick up at a dispensary but I didnt have time and was desperste so called up a friend on campus last week and i knew right away this wasnt ideal but it was managable until the other night

It didnt help that I also drank a lot (though I am used to drinking/smoking in conjunction)

I think the real problem was i met up with some friends I havent seen in ages and it was so hard for me to keep up with what they were saying about their lives and what not (after an extremely long stressful and overstimulating day in general), I simply dissacosiatted and while we were at the bar I felt as if all of them were alters and went into my own world which escallated quickly. Yet another part of me fronted to ensure i didnt lose it. I dont remember most of the convo or thoughts or even how I got home, heck even talking to my family was a blur (and they had no idea i was intoxicated- though all this is normal for me). However, I did tell my dad to remind me of something knowing I would not recall in the morning and he looked at me and said why? I just blamed it on being tired cause it was like 1am

It sucks my family doesnt believe I have DID even when I told them I am asexual they didnt believle. Because of this whenever I smoke or even drink and need to interact with them I have a part that ensures I appear sober even if behind the scences I am still tripping intensely

Ahhhhhh why is DID so complicated