Struggling as newly diagnosed

I'm talking about denial as an internal conflict as well. Often when such a thing is expressed to a therapist, they will reassure the patient that this is perfectly normal considering the diagnosis (that's what mine did).

I'm saying - be careful about just leaving it at that. There may be more to it - that nagging feeling something isn't quite right.

And I don't think denial should ever carry weight for a diagnosis. That is logic flipped on it's head and so invalidating.

(I'm not saying anybody is making things up - that really isn't part of this discussion. But even if someone was - I wouldn't think it was for attention - I would think it was a product of the person desperately trying to get better and trying to co-operate with therapy. But as I said - I'm not implying anybody here is making stuff up. I certainly wasn't - but I took my denial very seriously)

pccats wrote:So I've been grateful to read about this a bit on here already, which has been helpful. I am newly diagnosed, like within the past couple weeks, and I am still not sure what to make of the diagnosis. There are parts that fit and others that don't. I guess I was just wondering if other people have ever felt like at first DID didn't seem like what was going on and then how you get to accept or really understand it.

Yes, me!!!

I too, am recently diagnosed (a few weeks) and was blown away by the diagnosis. Absolutely did not believe it at first, but some things really did fit and explain so much for me. Not everything fit though. I was VERY skeptical, but did my best to learn more about it through the internet, this forum, and a book "Got Parts" which my T recommended. I started to pay more attention to myself and my moods and started to notice switches. After a few weeks, while talking to myself about how no one ever answers when I try to communicate and none have ever had their own names, one spoke up in my head and named themselves. That felt totally crazy. I even doubted it and thought I made it up, even though I clearly know, I didn't pick the name and the voice was that of a much younger girl.

This week in therapy while I was telling T that all of my parts still feel like me, and identify with my given name, she attempted to talk to an alter and oh my god, I actually experienced an alter push me aside, take control of my body from me, and answer her questions, all while I watched from inside my own head. I know can no longer question the diagnosis, but I still do..there is still a voice in there, saying this is all wrong and then tries to change the subject... It is all very weird to learn that this is how I have been operating my whole life and even more weird to learn that it is not how everyone functions. And most weird for me, is to learn that a good portion of T's don't even understand or believe in it. Its all very weird for me, but I do accept it as my truth.

Hi,

The whole point of DID is to hide. If it's working perfectly Hosts don't know about it at all. So I guess if Hosts see stuff happening then the DID isn't working right. That makes it really really hard for Hosts to know if they have DID or not. Maybe they don't or maybe they do and it's hiding stuff like it's supposed to. Really complicated.

I mean I know we're DID because I'm an alter and I wouldn't be here otherwise but Host can't tell because he would be here anyway.

Iain

LittleMie wrote:There is a thread on here somewhere called something like 'I don't have DID because' and then people list why they can't possible have it whilst part of them knows that it is true.

Cookie-cutter DID? I must not have DID because...

BJs wrote:

I found the following a while back, written about Denial. I read it from time to time and it helps me not panic. The "columns" and the turmoil she describes fit my experience as if I'd written it myself:
https://information.pods-online.org.uk/ ... id-denial/

I hadn't seen this. thank you. Also, to OP i am sorry thing happened in your life and you found yourself here on this forum, but I am happy you found us here on this forum. People here are really supportive and helpful. And this is especially important for always but for mostly when you have no one else who understands.

What does it take these days? Is it literally a recording in psychotherapy before that accusations of doing or saying things in few sessions for them to share it? Is it a little of both the in session live experiences out of sessions?