How do you stay afloat as a multiple?

yungpicasso wrote:Damn thank you for sharing your experiences everyone,

You do realize that almost 5 months went by since the last reply, right?

yungpicasso wrote:I like calling mine memory states for the time being but, as a "host" it can be very exhausting getting an influx of emotions and triggers all the time, feeling like you can't just take control and do something objectively. How did you get everyone so organised if you don't mind me asking?...

I'm learning to take more control in a way that I can organise my "mood/memory/mind" states, I realised it helps if I listen to them and reassure that it's not always the way they see it, it tends to calm the voices down. Writing would definitely help me as I do get terrible amnesia with what they say to me but I always cringe at the writing or someone does because they see it as weak.

For me what helped a lot was acknowledging that I was also one of the parts (or "mood/memory/mind" states). Using phrases such as "taking control" or "get everyone so organized" is not a great way to promote cooperation among all of you. Of course it's exhausting if you keep trying to be in charge instead of realizing that you are all in this together.

It makes sense that you would resist writing, because it would give them more of a chance to express themselves and would make it more clear to you that you are just one of them also, and would probably make you feel "weak." Your role happens to be host, but other parts have as much or more power and control as you do. Or basically, to use the team metaphor, you are just one of the players, not the coach.

Anyway, changing my outlook in that way is what helped me to make progress, and it sure helps the days go much more smoothly.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:

yungpicasso wrote:Damn thank you for sharing your experiences everyone,

You do realize that almost 5 months went by since the last reply, right?

yungpicasso wrote:I like calling mine memory states for the time being but, as a "host" it can be very exhausting getting an influx of emotions and triggers all the time, feeling like you can't just take control and do something objectively. How did you get everyone so organised if you don't mind me asking?...

I'm learning to take more control in a way that I can organise my "mood/memory/mind" states, I realised it helps if I listen to them and reassure that it's not always the way they see it, it tends to calm the voices down. Writing would definitely help me as I do get terrible amnesia with what they say to me but I always cringe at the writing or someone does because they see it as weak.

For me what helped a lot was acknowledging that I was also one of the parts (or "mood/memory/mind" states). Using phrases such as "taking control" or "get everyone so organized" is not a great way to promote cooperation among all of you. Of course it's exhausting if you keep trying to be in charge instead of realizing that you are all in this together.

It makes sense that you would resist writing, because it would give them more of a chance to express themselves and would make it more clear to you that you are just one of them also, and would probably make you feel "weak." Your role happens to be host, but other parts have as much or more power and control as you do. Or basically, to use the team metaphor, you are just one of the players, not the coach.

Anyway, changing my outlook in that way is what helped me to make progress, and it sure helps the days go much more smoothly.

Yeah sorry I've been pretty inactive, because it was making me worse talking about it. I've also been grinding for my new career so I've been kinda focused but I like coming back here and there. I completely know what the issues are it's just that I cannot seem to merge each ideology on how to live because they're so different. I try doing things for each part of me but it seems like it's never enough