Docs make no sense. And I make no sense either.

I have some sort of karma that apparently everything has to be elusive and uncertain in my life.
Got diagnosed with IIH (Idiopathic intracranial hypertension). Now half the docs say I have it and some say I'm perfectly healthy. One neuro sent me to neurosurgeon to put in a shunt, while others say I'm basically making it all up. Ok. Big deal. I think I go on taking my IIH meds, which make me depressed, to add insult to injury. As if I was not depressed enough

The other part is that I've gathered psychiatric reports and diagnoses over the years, that technically include every single mental and psychological illness that are not super rare and recognized widely by the so called docs. That is, really all psychiatric and psychosomatic illnesses except DID. To name all of those would fill the whole server and crash it.
So docs make no sense.
But I don't make any sense either. I have no single widely recognized psychiatric symptom (like depression, hallucination, mania, restlessness, agitation, delusions, aggression etc.) but I truely feel like I'm dying.
The shortest conversation sends me to annoyance level 9000. When I walk back from my therapist, I can't even walk a straight line from all the talking (literally tumbling). I can't watch a movie because after 10 minutes I'm so sick and tired of trying to follow the plot and I just turn it off.
And there is another reason why I don't make sense. Today, I was at a new psychdoc, who asked me about my diagnoses. I told them all in chronological order, which took a long time. OR DID I? I missed my most important and annoying symptoms (derealization, depersonalization) and also the diagnosis of the former. As if I've never had those(!!). I was not lying or trying to be secretive. It just didn't occur to me that those are relevant/EXIST. Instead I talked in lengths about how I can connect with people at all. I mean, who cares that I can't connect with people, when I'm not even able to connect to G*D D**N reality? Well obviously, in the "mood" I had then people were more important than reality. But right now I don't get the concept at all.
I generally have the feeling that I'm different people when confronted with certain people. Like I'm Mr. A and always Mr. A when I go to my therapist, and today I was Mr. Y at the new psychdoc and I'll probably be Mr. Y all the time when I go to him the next times.
And here is why I make no sense.
And then there is DID and how I always keep forgetting about it's existence. Whether I have DID I do not know, but obviously I have a fable for forgetting about the possibility of DID and come to this forum every 6 months, rant about (possible) DID, and forget about it and this website pretty soon.
And here's another reason why I make no sense.

I'm not much help, but I'd definitely say I get unreasonably angry after conversations for no reason (sometimes). I think it's my 'mean' alter's feelings projecting onto me, she has no sympathy for people and thus gets annoyed at their 'blabbering'.

By the way, I'm not diagnosed with anything but DID symptoms have been getting more and more apparent as time goes on.

~Lex

Dear Omid,
Yup. Docs make no sense. But pdocs especially are only going on your subjective experience. The only thing they can use to diagnose you is what you describe. So you need to find a way to get all your parts to communicate with them. If different parts can write their symptoms down when they are forward, that would be one idea.

I also have a long list of diagnoses. I think part of the reason is that different parts have different disorders. Terrin has Depression, anorexia and BPD. I have Anxiety and OCD and bulimia. Etc. It looks a lot less organized before you bring DID into the picture. But a lot of pdocs miss it because of situations like yours where the different parts are relegated to certain interactions. Your therapist may have a very different picture of you from your pdoc from your gp.

Keep trying to communicate with professionals. Not all of them will get it but they can't get it if you don't present the information. The ones that don't get it after you've done the work need to be left in the dust but there are those who will know and see and help you if you can let them.