tw: addiction, drugs

I think that it is fair to say that deliberately-brought-on dissociation is a drug. It was necessary (or hell, maybe still is at times) necessary for survival, but then there are the other times where the situation does not even call-for-it, and those of us who have it as an 'ability' in our reportoire can use it for no needed reason.

I see that as a valid addiction-recovery; if you can get to a point where you are truly and fully with-it, in the moment and Not dissociating. Sorta... when I got to a point where I had a definition for it (after having done-it for my entire life; accidentally when triggered, deliberately when i wanted to check-out of 'reality' for a bit.)

Instead of spending long periods of time alone dissociating, i now do things with people; do things alone-bodied; do things that are not dissociation.

that seems like a helpful way to look at it.
someone once told us that the more you dissociate, the easer it gets. almost like building up tolerance and needing more for lesser situations...

dissociation means switching off life. which can be great when you are facing horror.
it also means switching off the rest of your life, including all the cool stuff of today.
there is only one place where you can be fully alive. it is the present. you need to be present or you will miss it.

you are doing a good job, winning your life back.