My ex became all my exes *TW

I don't know where to start. We've been in this intense relationship for the past 6 months, and recently ended it (for the third time, because its a ****ing crazy, manipulative relationship). At some point the ex started to 'become' this person I had dated several years ago, who turned out to be a pedophile and an evil, manipulative disgusting excuse of a human being.
Now I can't interact with my more recent ex without freaking out and losing it, going cold, crazy, etc etc because every time he speaks or moves its like hehe's turning into the other guy.
I (we) try to limit interaction with this person but we realize that with every relationship with male since the guy several years ago, we become convinced that they are pedophiles and that they are or intend to rape children.
Im really upset by this, not close enough to understanding our system to even say who I am right now, except there's more than one (sorry for the swinging pronouns) and (switch) am curious if any other systems have this problem, and if so, how did you (all) resolve it.

Thanks in advance
-us

emanresuid wrote:We've been in this intense relationship for the past 6 months, and recently ended it (for the third time, because its a ****ing crazy, manipulative relationship).

sounds like, even without the "other ex" issue, this isn't a good relationship. let it go.

This sounds like a case of projection, which is very common and independent of DID. I am not saying your DID (?) is not a factor, only that most people who struggle with projection do not have DID.

Psychotherapy can help. Projection is very common and most psychotherapists will be very familiar with it and know how to work with it.

Vortexvoid- im trying and am cautiously optimistic that this time it was for good... But it would be a lie to say we are out of the woods.

Una- thank you. I wouldn't have considered that. We meet with a therapist next week, maybe its something we can fix?

Thanks to you both.

Hi us

Without diagnosing your relationships at length, etc., it does sound like a case of triggered projection.

Your emotions are caused by the trauma that you endured. This trauma created strong emotions in you. I will not guess which ones apply to you, but anger, humiliation, fear, and shame are all negative emotions that can be created.

Your current relationships over time start to trigger off these emotions in you. This can be a slow process, or it can be quick, like a flashback. When you're triggered you repeat the patterns associated with the original trauma and you become retraumatized, effectively reinforcing these patterns.

Identify the triggers, be mindful when they occur and then don't expose yourself to them again.

Take care... Brett

Thank you Brett. Im grateful to have a starting place. This makes so much sense, why all of our relationships become so unbearable.