Parts Communication

we fear what we dont know. and we fear people we dont connect with emotionally.
it will take some courage to make the first steps.

we always try to find the greatest strength and good characteristic when we get to know someone new.
when there is a new child we make it a goal to find out at least one thing for every sense that they enjoy, like music they like etc. the list is "see, hear, smell, taste, sense, move and play"
its a more structured way of getting to know someone, somehow gives you a target to aim for when you really dont know what to do. with the information it gets easier to engage a part in some action.

birdsong87 wrote:we fear what we dont know. and we fear people we dont connect with emotionally.
it will take some courage to make the first steps.

This!! And I especially like birdsong's list, we will be using this, thank you!

Hi Courtney & all!
We are sort of in a similar spot with regards to communication. I was the one that reached out to our host Illy and freaked her out. She felt the same way you describe, scared of us, scared of trauma, but wanting to know everything. Everyone has left great advice and while I don't have much advice to add, I would like this to be a testimony to the fact that it does help, it just takes patience and courage like birdsong mentioned.

Our host felt like it needed to be understood & fixed right there and then. She would flip between wanting to know us & getting scared and pretending we don't exist. It took some time for her to stop & take a step back to slow it down. Taking things one thing at a time, and trauma can be dealt with once we are more stable and safe to do so. Our host is only just now beginning to realize that she doesn't need to fear us & that we are here to help and handle ALL of our needs in order to be stable and work together. Illy is just beginning to accept that we are multiple, though she is not very stable so we are in the midst of a positive transition/host change. I don't think it would be possible, or in the least extremely rocky, if she didn't give me a chance.

Take it as slow as you need & find ways to feel safe when you don't. Things will progress with patience.
Lee-Anne

"Our host felt like it needed to be understood & fixed right there and then. She would flip between wanting to know us & getting scared and pretending we don't exist." - Raindrops

--this is my reality every day.