enjoyment of personal-space, from an alter's point

Hello; this is Tish. I have not recently posted here, but as an alter in a relatively co-present system, I wanted to explain something that could be helpful.

In my past, I recall the feeling of never getting to have my own personal space. I was either being cared-for by others in a crowded house, or caring for others in a similar manner.

Now, being in a system that understands my love for personal space, it is absolutely wonderful. Lindsey and Janus (especially Janus; they share my love for personal space) are not intrusive, not pushy and most-importantly, not taking it personally/as though they did something wrong. I do not retreat from them to leave permanently; I do so to foster my personal space, to rest, to rejuvenate. I love them, and generally, when we go into a space (like a dance party or to work) that requires lots of other-bodied-people interaction, I slip off/out for a bit and Lindsey dazzles them with her socialness and love for the spotlight.

L loves to do that. They also love that I have reassured them that I am not leaving and not sulking; it's just a great balance. Now, at times when we need to rest our body, L is the one who lets-back a bit and does their own thing; it works wonderfully. I am a master now of relaxation, of resting. If L were trying to relax (they have,) it would be a fidgety time full of boredom and discontent for L; but for me, it is utterly glorious not to be at someone's beckon/call.

This is very nice. I am maybe wondering if any of you have alters that seem to love personal space. If so, I would not automatically think that they've left permanently or otherwise abandoned you/your alters/host; maybe, like me, they love their alone-time.

Warmest regards,
Tish

Hi Tish. This is so great to hear. I (Heather) also require personal space but more from other bodies than from ourselves. C and Sarey, but especially C, feel lost when alone physically but I need it. So does Terrin. And tonight we agreed to move in with C's bf. This is only thinkable because he allows us alone time while in the same house (we already spend most of our time at his house). I'm glad it works for you to step back while Lindsey is social. That doesn't work for me, though. I need physical alone time and actual silence. C is afraid of silence and has the tv on ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT when she is front. That being said, she prefers her socializing be done one on one. Or us on one lol. Are you aware of your surroundings while L is being the life of the party? We don't like clubs or parties at all, any of us, except for Poncho and she hasn't taken front in 17 years! We are trying to get her back though because having a social part would be really useful. Anyhow, I am really glad you have struck a balance. I am feeling good about how my needs are being met tonight too.
Heather