Can you all your parts have the same memories?

Greetings. I am new here and while I do not have a diagnosis I think I MIGHT have DID. I'm wondering if its possible to have dissociative identity disorder but have all of your parts share the same memories? It's going to be a while before I can see a therapist and I feel like I'm losing my mind because most of my memories are there and while I do occasionally experience memory gaps I do not black out which makes me think I'm grasping at straws here with the whole DID thing even though it's the only thing to ever make sense to me in my life. I'm not looking for a diagnosis I just want to know if this is a situation anyone else here has experienced or knows of occurring in a person with DID.

A bit of an explanation for those who are wondering why I think I have DID:

For as long as I can remember I have felt not felt like myself and have dissociated. The vast majority of days I do not recognize the person in the mirror and it scares me. My face even appears to change shape depending on who is out even though I can clearly tell it's the same face. So far I've identified several personalities, some who greatly contradict each other such as a highly emotional personality with rock bottom self-esteem and a narcissistic sociopath for example. My gender identity, internal appearance, interests, voice, posture and even something as minor as color preference are all different for each one and it makes any decision relating to identity or preferences of any kind almost impossible as there are so many conflicting opinions and no matter what I ultimately choose I am guaranteed to hate it at some point later.

I can feel myself slipping away just writing this now... I have times where I feel like I am not in control of my body and I start saying a bunch of nonsense and no matter what I do I can't stop. The feeling when in that state is like every thing is a dream and that my soul is trailing behind my body holding on tightly just to stay attached. I'm not religious I just don't know how else to describe it.
Literally right now I am no longer writing this but someone else is. The person is started this post is already gone.

I apologize if this post became incoherent, it's really hard to keep any sort of flow going like this especially when talking about stuff that is self-triggering. I also don't mean to offend anyone who has seen a professional and been officially diagnosed by this post and I'm sorry if I do. I only want to ease my mind until I can see a doctor so that I don't have to feel like I am losing my mind or have some horrible disability. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read and reply

Well, for what it is worth, thinking you might have DID is a fairly good diagnostic sign that you have something going on. And usually it is DID.

Along similar lines there is an interesting case report by Dr. Richard Kluft, an authority on DID. A high functioning woman, a PhD scientist, comes to see him and explains she is there because she thinks she has DID and yet she has no reason to think she has DID. This perplexes her so rather than mess around she is bringing it to the expert. Within the hour it is quite apparent that she has DID.

What do you mean that all the alters have the same memories? Is it that they all share the same traumatic memories or that each alter knows the body's legal name, your home address, etc. when fronting? Or something else completely?

All my alters have the same memories of the past as they were all in my consciousness when the abuse happened. I didn't know this until they came out. But yes. It's possible.

@Una+ That is quite interesting and makes me feel a little less like I am crazy, thanks for sharing.

@Truly_happy
They all share the same traumatic memories as well as all my other memories, which includes stuff like legal name, address etc. Because of this it's hard to tell when I've switched unless I am actively paying attention to it but I am definitely switching because people around me have confirmed it.

Well, our system seems to have something called a "shell" where anyone who comes out can only recall what information is stored in our external memory. Each of us has our own memories and knowledge aside from the shell, but those are temporarily lost to us when we come out. This can lead to covert switching, but we also suffer a loss of individual identity if the shell memory is not familiar with the person who is fronting.

Get to know your individual parts and try to make contact with ones who are further back in your mind. They may show signs of possessing memories or feelings from hidden trauma.

- Cullen

DID is about fragmentation and compartmentalization. In many DID systems memory is compartmentalized but that is not the only scheme. Emotions and behaviors can also be compartmentalized.

Tell us more about how you experience yourself.

I wanted to first off say thanks for posting. This post was truly like a breath of fresh air for the others and I. I will say this, I do not have a formal diagnosis of DID, however, I certainly think there is a great likelihood I do have DID. Some of my alters (or "the others", I like to call them) share memories of trauma from my childhood, and trauma that I have more recently experienced (usually because a younger alter is outside and participating in adult activities). And we remember everyday matters too, like our home address, phone number, etc. Yet, sometimes smaller/little ones (younger ones) will get very nervous and forget/not know her real age when asked by someone. This causes a lot of confusion for everyone inside, but whoever is out is usually able to answer the question after 1 or 2 seconds.

And, I definitely agree that there is a lot of compartmentalization. Not only do I compartmentalize my brain in feelings, thoughts, behaviours and memories, but I do this symbolically in everyday tasks. When I write papers for school I often like to keep similar information in separate "boxes" or sections to be dissected. And I like to keep physical files on the computer and in hand of readings and notes for each week. Now, I realize that many students do this to keep organized. The only thing with me is that my mind will often switch, make a decision to make new folders or decide to name files differently than the last. Now this might out be out of anxiety, who knows really?

Anyway, I might be getting off track here. But what I am trying to pinpoint is that, yes I totally and utterly agree that memories can be meshed with each alter/part/other. And, btw I also look in the mirror sometimes and I scare myself. So, I think what your feeling is very normal for someone with dissociative symptoms (DID, DDONS, or the like).

Some of us share memories but having knowledge of a memory does not mean that that part/person will acknowledge the experience of it. For example I think I know most of the things that have happened to this body in a broad sense but do not accept that I went through the experience and do not hold the details or have any emotional connection. I do not know everything that went on with the littles.

I can describe this being played out quite recently when being seen by the community mental health team and being asked a direct question about childhood - my answer is 'it was fine' I am unable to say anything else but am aware as I am saying it an argument ensues in my head because we have different versions. I am aware of the argument but cannot state anything because for 'me' it was fine, to say anything else seems to involve a switch.

Am also beginning to discover the whole issue of amnesia for amnesia which also means whilst I think I know things I actually don't know the things I don't know. I know that we went to see the MH team yesterday and that M presented and she is very depressed. I have no idea what she is depressed about.

If your symptoms are causing you distress then going to see someone can be helpful. Take care.

First, we don't have any formal dx too.
For us, it's like we're around a huge box, all the memories are in this box, and we can pick them when we need too.
When the memories are made when we're co-present, they are much more blurry compared to the others we made individually, like if we're two for taking one photo with one camera and not agree about the settings.
What is compartmentalized is everything related to those memories. They are like photos : everyone can pick and watch them, but not everyone will react to them.
For exemple, some traumatic memories don't affect me, but some others will be badly triggered by them, so we let them on the bottom of the box.
We can also hide a photo from the others. Daem was the first (and as far we know, the only one) to undersand how it works and did that alot when we were young.

- Plume