Frustration

Okay a family member of mine. She vaguely believes in DID.
But I've felt verbally attacked it hads occurred that this is negative behaviour.

She asked me where my abuse came from I said I don't know only bits and pieces. She raised me for the first 2 years of my life it seemed as if she was offended by this. She had an extremely abusive background.
I feel as If I have offended her by my lack of knowledge of something uncontrollable. Am I right to feel wronged in this situation.

Maybe she was offended because she is a contributor, worried you think it was her, or worried herself she might have done something to you. People are offensive when they are uncomfortable with something. It is about them, not you.

But yes you have every right to feel frustrated. I don't think you need to justify anything to anyone. It really is none of their business. I guess though, first, do you want to engage in a discussion of DID and/or your issues with this person? If not, maybe you can find ways to deflect the conversation. "this is something I don't really want to talk about"

You are entitled to your privacy. Especially about this!

You have DID and DID is almost always rooted in very early childhood. Logic says this person may have been involved, as a active abuser or as seriously negligent person responsible for your safety and well-being. I don't know if you should feel wronged but it seems you're wary on some level. Have you asked inside whether anyone is afraid of her or has any strong feelings one way or another?

BTW, welcome back!

spanky_spee wrote:I feel as If I have offended her by my lack of knowledge of something uncontrollable. Am I right to feel wronged in this situation.

it is not your fault that you can't remember. memory gaps and amnesia are symptoms of dissociative disorders and ptsd/c-ptsd. you have no control over it. her behavior towards you is just unfair. if someone was blaming me over something that is completely out of my control, i'd be pissed too!

- archer

You have every right to your feelings. Feelings are yours and no one else's, only actions can be judged. She may hate her abusers and fear that you think she is like them. Sounds like she is not the right person to talk to.
Heather

Thank you for the input. But I'm really starting to really think she may be a negligent person. The other night she revealed she may think her granddaughter may have been sexually abused and refused to tell the mother putting me in and extremely awkward situation.

The child isn't seeing the father anymore but she didn't say a word. I'm insanely angry at this situation. I can't trust anyone anymore.

Yes, also a disservice to yourself because alters are going to want to know what is happening. To my knowledge some of us just feel like they belong you have to educate them as well. It think is part of what keeps us driven in the beginning to learn what is happening for the diagnoses when we need it. Also to share with family because often time alters need patience love acceptance and to be kind. Often times you probably have let things go become passive or you could be the the other way they are going to exert themselves and that conflict becomes apparent in the relationships with people. I wouldn't expect that from any family member aww yes this happened and this happened. It is going to take some convincing why's so that they can stay out of the way while until the choas settles. Don't actually allow this to be literal unless you really are experiencing it to the point of being harmful to self and others which is rarely the case if you are high functioning and safe. It is rare tha t therapy abuse is experienced by systems, like a force out. So that means no substances or abusive relationships no current incest etc. Don't self injury just remember it let it be dormant, so someone doesn't assume the worst. I was abused in marriage although he didn't share we would do those things in his return so it isn't our fault, that was followed by therapy abuse. I would believe the hype though it does take a toll on you even if those things aren't true over the course of therapy. I would offer a book or movie book probably is best so that the catch all since movies are often not what a book can fit.

Hi,

It's OK not to remember. The whole point of DID is not to remember. Just means your system is working like it's supposed to.

Iain