Salute of the Day (Snarky Vent Thread)

"I don't wanna work
I only want to bang on the drum all day...."
--Todd Rundgren

Everybody sing!

Laura and others

we got an email yesterday afternoon from a customer, that basically amounted to "wah wah my stupid employee made a data entry booboo and it cost us money and we dont think its fair we hafta pay cos of our mistake".

I emailed back today and wow I tried to be polite and stuff but basically told them, that job was handled the way the order was entered and if i was doing it personally i'd have done the same thing cos thats how it says.

Like there were special instructions that they didn't actually put on the order? I dunno how they think its gonna be handled, like they think folks got telepathy or something?! These customers are slow payers and they nitpick every damn thing. But when they do something dumb they expect everyone else to cut them slack and be extra nice and stuff.

And like, we can't afford to lose business but I'm pretty close to telling them to bugger off because it feels like its not worth it when we're just making pennies here and hafta do all the extra emotional support work for them cos their data entry person is careless & sloppy.

Plus I'm not even really sure when I try to be like, diplomatic & stuff, if it works. Like my idea of 'good business talk' is mostly stuff like "type through instead of thru, type because instead of cos".

I dunno, these people know how much of a shoestring business we are like just getting by but they always wanna fight and squeeze and stuff. I don't think its worth it.

Viola

Not worth it. stand up to them and be prepaired to cut your losses. Worst case you loose the client and a major source of stress. Best case they see they pushed you too far back off and stop being arses. Probable case they see they have pushed you too far drop this one because they dont want to loose such a (normally) willing asset and go back to being their normal #######5 selves the next order.

Either way you get rid of a whole load of stress.

I wound up fronting again this morning because of other stuff (very, very naughty cat broke something and made Viola lose her temper...) and after a few email exchanges with the customer I basically told them they're welcome to #### off and take the business elsewhere. Politely, of course.

They wrote back, but I haven't bothered looking at their response yet. We have other, better customers who need us right now.

There is a lot of anxiety in the system though. Not quite panic but they're upset and scared that I've gone too far. I'm pretty sure this is because of our past abuses though - we were trained to not question or speak back or stand up for ourselves, so when we do it can be triggering.

Meanwhile I've almost screwed up with names twice, because I feel like I'm pretending to be Viola pretending to be [body name]. Its hard to keep this stuff straight.

Em

Nothing like having to buy hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes on Amazon, because you can't get them anywhere in person

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand

pay five times as much as usual

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand

have an item go out of stock TWICE while you're trying to pay for it....

MDs

We went to CVS this evening to pick up our Prozac refill. The store was very good about enforcing distance rules at the counters. They had a folding table in front of each register to create more distance, and the card swipe thingies were moved onto the folding tables, while still wired to the system.

Customers were respectful and kept good distance on the pharmacy pickup line. But a woman two customers ahead of us had an old friend come up to her....and they hugged.

Do you not ######6 know what social distancing means?!?

Other than that example of sheer fidiocy, we're fine.

MDs

I just need to DUMP this information.

So, I was talking to an elderly lady. The idea was that we'd call every once in a while, because she has to be isolated rn. She's also a therapist and she kept trying to therapize me. Which, well, fair enough. I don't really care.

But THEN, right before it was the end of the call.
*** Trigger warning: abuse ***
She ######6 said the same exact phrase that my dad used to say right before he would hurt us.

"If you don't want to listen, then you have to feel it."

End Trigger warning ********

And YES. I get that it's probably like a cultural expression or something like that. but it is NOT OKAY. SO not okay. ###$.

We were just spun into flashback land and I even SAID that I was triggered and she was just like Oh Well and hung up. ######6 HELL. ###$ THAT $#%^. UGH! People just don't GET it.
I don't think I can allow the system to talk to her like that again.

fireheart wrote:I just need to DUMP this information.

So, I was talking to an elderly lady. The idea was that we'd call every once in a while, because she has to be isolated rn. She's also a therapist and she kept trying to therapize me. Which, well, fair enough. I don't really care.

But THEN, right before it was the end of the call.
*** Trigger warning: abuse ***
She ######6 said the same exact phrase that my dad used to say right before he would hurt us.

"If you don't want to listen, then you have to feel it."

End Trigger warning ********

And YES. I get that it's probably like a cultural expression or something like that. but it is NOT OKAY. SO not okay. ###$.

We were just spun into flashback land and I even SAID that I was triggered and she was just like Oh Well and hung up. ######6 HELL. ###$ THAT $#%^. UGH! People just don't GET it.
I don't think I can allow the system to talk to her like that again.

Have you considered, you probably have, but I'll ask, very frightenedly but I'll ask - that she was perhaps trying to change the sentiment of the phrase from abusive to something more helpful?

I don't know what she said it in reference to or the conversation but it seems to me that given she was a therapist perhaps she did it on purpose but not necessarily at the aim of detriment, the aim was change or growth.

That doesn't help that you're triggered or having flashbacks and I'm sorry to read that you are because it's horrible and emotionally draining and disturbing and painful.

I'm thinking, someone said (more than one person) that I give the benefit of the doubt too much and always like to see the good, that perhaps her motives were ok even though the result was awful. - giving her the benefit of doubt as a person rather than her actions.

She isn't your therapist and ought to switch that off when talking to you. That's where she's going wrong. A friend and a therapist are very different roles. You have tried to be supportive of her because of her vulnerability but she has disregarded yours whether reasonable motive or not it's outside of the remit of her relationship with you. And as a friend she would be sorry to hurt you, a therapist might see pain as change inducing but again she isn't your therapist.

So yeah, I get it. Took me a while, I have a few opinions at once but she's a bad friend won.

Sorry to read you showed care and compassion for a vulnerable person and were mistreated in return.

Hi fireheart,

I never heard that expression before, and nothing came up when I tried to google it. I definitely get how it could be used as a threat, but what was the context in which this woman was using it??

What could it mean that if you listened to her about something then you wouldn't have to feel it? It doesn't make any sense to me. What would she be "saving" you from if you listened to her? Did she know that this was an expression that would trigger you or was it just a coincidence?

And anyone who cared about you as a friend wouldn't just say, "Oh well," and hang up when something they said upset you. Why are you doing her the favor of calling her if she treats you like this?

Grrr--angry on your behalf.

So sorry that this happened to you, fireheart.

MDs