Going Down the Rabbit-Hole

thank you friends.

our aphasia is getting better sometimes. little bee is being a helper sometimes.

it's very hard though. having the brain be messed up and the dissociative stuff and everything. plus we having a "new life crisis". maybe is mid life crisis we think but our friend irl laugh and says its new life crisis and I like that better. so that's what we call it now.

we have many financial worries. even though we safe. we not worry about lights on or food in belly. we worried about bills and debt and medical care and future for kid.

we also have new feelings of want husband. not just 1 or 2 bees. many now think husband is good. (only good husband though). but we struggle our own self image....our brain not as smart. we sometimes have motor symptoms is embarassing. like shaky or tremor. we sometimes need walking stick still. but we like the nice collapse pole. and we use when we need. no fall because of pride. but how we find love when our body broken? we dont know. so we embrace possibility and no rush. we busy our own selves many things. especially our garden is much work. and resting important too.

is good mostly during day so I fake at work pretty good. at home I more tired and confused. dont talk as good before bedtime.

eye doctor said he make me glasses for special maybe I can drive at night. I need money that too though.

TAFKAR big time asshoke weasel like he does sometimes. him owe so much money. make us mad. we wait for court. no beg him for nothing.

we sorry how we was here for long time. and then go away. we hope our brain get better and better.

I need find another T but hate looking. hate going. hate spending money.

life very limited because of brain messed up. but we try and believe and hope. we make new friends. stop pretending to be normal. we dont wven.look normal no more so we just be ourselves. it easier. but only because we dont care anymore. about what anybody thinks. we care about daughter. we care about keep our job. and we care about take care ourselves. that's it. no more room.

this long and disjointed. I miss my friends but dont know why we is gone all the long time. maybe just a season.

is cause neurology problems big time worser than DID problems and we no like complain always. that's not nice to say. all problems is suck.

anyway. today we get neck shots and go work again. sick in our chest.

all love my friends. have happiness.

Hey BeccaBee, it's great to hear from you!

Sorry things are still kinda messed up for you all, but it sounds like you're doing a really good job dealing with it and working on your health and stuff.

We hope your chest sickness is better soon!

Viola

Hi Bees,

Really glad to hear from you.

Sending lots of good thoughts.

MDs

Very glad to have an update from the bees and glad you're doing well enough. That's the phrase I think when someone asks me how I'm doing. I usually say "I'm doing well" but I'm thinking "I'm doing well enough" since that includes the "I've had tougher days too."

You deserve to have someone to share your life or just spend some pleasant time with if that's what some of you are looking for. No matter what the limitations, there is literally always someone out there who'd be perfect for everyone. Similarly, there's a T out there who'd be just perfect for you too.

The challenge, as you know, is the process, which can take time. You might strike gold right away on either, that can and does happen. More likely there will be an almost-but-not-quite, a meh, or a total dud. Starting the process sooner rather than later leaves you time for recovering from the non-successes, if that happens.

My son's going through the process of learning to socialize in more effective ways. He knows how to socialize, but needs to smooth out the rough edges learned from his family of origin and that takes practice. It bums him out if things don't fit his hopes, so we leave time after each attempt to process and regroup. That time is getting shorter the more he learns.

wow! thank you for remembering me and be my friend still after I have been gone so long.

sorry I did get very sick and have the pneumonia but I took the medicine and I am getting better now.

I am struggle with my brain and forget much times to check forum. but I have hope I will get better and better.

thank you for the good advice. thank you for caring about me.

at night my brain is so tired. but maybe if I remember in the morning ings I can come again and read and cheer on my friends again. I'm sorry I missed a whole year of your lives. it makes me cry.

but I'm getting better! ok.

teeny tiny glitter bombs * * *

I also still care about you. Glad to read an update.
Only do what you can, it is welcome and we understand. Getting better and big worries and daughter are all important.

Sending more tiny glitterbombs ****

Hi Bees!

We're totally still your friends. I like it that you posted so we know what's going on with you.

Iain

Hi Bees,

We care about you a lot. Sending glitterbombs back to you.

MDs

hey guys. I'm sick. they think its covid. everybody is really worried about my breathing. my chest is starting to hurt today. I'm getting a tiny bit worried.

anyway. I think I'm going to make it. I was evaluated yesterday at the hospital and my vitals were strong. the doc calls everyday to check on me.

I will write when I am better. but, just in case. i wanted yall to know what happened if i dont come back.

hey BeccaBee,

wow thats really scary, I hope you're feeling better soon. I'm glad your vitals are strong & your doc is keeping checked up on you.

thanks for letting us all know, we still think about you & hope youre better soon.

Viola & others