Going Down the Rabbit-Hole

I am not bothered with it. just trying to keep things updated. it was a tremendously cool experience. just wish I understood it, or even remembered it better.

things are going great with my dog! she is super sweet and smart. I missed her today at work!

she is kind of sensitive and dignified so I have to be careful to correct her softly and gently. which is super different from my white dog who was hella hard headed and had to be punked down.

I can already tell this one has a touch of stubborn also. we meet with the trainer for a temperment evaluation tomorrow. we start puppy kindergarten in a few weeks. I have never done a dog class. I think it will be great. good for all of us. me, dog, and kid watching and learning too. she isn't old enough to handle the dog in class but she can watch and practice at home too.

it makes me feel excited and hopeful about the therapeutic aspect of bonding with pet. and I am also hoping that some of my hypervigilance and insomnia will be reduced having a dog around again.

she is so responsive! and we are batting 90% on the housetraining.

i was wondering how things are going with the new home and the new dog.
hope you are alright.

all is well.

kid, house, dog, job. all well.

it has just been a long row to hoe and busy juggling much.

tired.

Great news! Did you take that day off work that you were considering? To me that sounded like a good idea. Prioritize self care.

yes. I took 2 days off and I needed them both to get packed up! I hired a cleaning service for the new house and movers for the heavy lifting. even with all the help it was exhausting. but I am doing great with not obsessively worrying like I used to. maybe the daily lorazepam, maybe the therapy.

I am also interviewing at work through all this for a promotion to get the income up. and juggling the kid and dog. but I am hanging in there. will try to rest some this weekend and just enjoy unpacking at my leisure. I am happy with my furniture placement so it's just conquering the boxes now.

dog is doing fabulous with house training! she is SO GOOD!!!!

we start puppy kindergarten next week.

I wanted to share that I am having a special moment with my dog right now.

she is a big puppy. and she has not been a snuggler like my other dog was. since we moved I have invited her on the couch but she only ever wants to play and gets back down. normally she lays on the floor by herself.

this morning I am drinking my coffee. I like to have my quiet time for coffee in the mornings. and my puppy has come and layed beside me calmly on the couch while I drink my coffee and surf the net.

this made me feel peaceful and calm.

my dog is definately a rescue. I don't know what she went through before she was picked up by the shelter. I think she was thirsty a lot. I think she is independent and not as quick to form attachments. but she is laying beside me on the couch now. this is the first time I have felt confident that getting the dog was the right choice.

we were very conflicted about it. love grows. slowly. it is the accumulation of a hundred thousand tiny moments of trust. in this moment I feel like my pup has finally realized she has a pack. and I have finally realized I have a pup.

hey everybody it's me.

like, "Me". I came around when we bonked our heads and I have been taking care of somethings and not doing too well with others.

I just completely quit going to therapy. at first T had a vacation and that was really nice. then I "slowed down" over the holidays, but canceled. I did schedule one for 2017 but cancelled that too.

I am not sure why I have done this. we had a good T. progress was being made. it did cost money.

just checking in and updating.

hello everybody who is my friend! and hello to the people who I do T k own but are reading my story anyway.

it is a good thing I did get my dog. she is very fluffy. and she is good for petting. but she is not a very good snuggler. she has lots of slobber and that is gross but I love her anyway. she has very pretty eyes. and she is very smart and good and that is more important than floppy slobber cheeks and bad breath.

well. I have been trying to be more grown up. and be a helper. and not be such a bosser. well helping is ok but I don't like being a grown up at all! yuck! I will take a break and maybe try to grow up again later.

our kid is very smart and beautiful and funny and kind. the real kid. we are very proud of her and we take very good care of her!

we have found a good place and life to be happy. changing is hard but I am glad we did.

I hope that you my friends are well. and do not give up! the bad times are so hard and sad and the despair is crushing. but hang in there and the wind will change. and your sails will be full again!

i am glad that things are working out with the dog. i still wish we had one. dogs are awesome!

just wondering... would you consider going back to T if the finances were right? do you think that money is the only reason?
D totally gets it. she likes to keep our finances together.

I don't understand why I quit. am not going. it is perplexing.

I am always considering resuming. but I dont.

something is going on I guess.