for the protectors [venting and advice]

you ok Colin? why would you live in a place where there are guns in the street every day!!???!??? get the hell out of there! Seems to me like the world around you is escalating and you are just being reasonable. take care, ok? often the best protection is not drawing attention. freaking out is drawing a lot of attention. being calm and looking normal (and possibly white I guess) keeps you from getting shot more than cover does. But cover is fine too, can't argue with that...

I might have cussed badly at the doctor's yesterday but he was ######6 hurting us when it already hurt like hell. It is hard to do sit and do nothing while we wait to get better

Good to hear from you Annette. Wish I could have been there when you cussed the doctor out. Bet that was good.

We stay because this is our home. Bunch of morons with guns aren't going to take it from us. You're right. Blending in is a good idea. I can do that.

Thanks.

Colin

the doctor was a moron. not our regular one who knows about trauma and dissociation.
***TW sexual abuse***
he asked why we are numb down there and can't give him proper answers and we told him right in the face that we were raped so often we don't have any feeling left there. make him live with how much of an insensitive asshole he is and make sure he notices...
*** end trigger warning***

I am online, trying to connect with people, trying to learn stuff, but man did we miss out on new platforms and stuff. ever tried to come to terms with crazy discord servers? where everyone is 16 and not the same 16 we are...
like, they are 16 today and I am like a 16 year old back in 2003 and its not the same. not at all. managing a ######6 website is easier than this new stuff.
see, now I am the one online, trying to find a place to fit in and its probably a huge waste of time

Yeah. That doctor is a moron. I hate it when our regular doc isn't there. She knows not to stand too close and no surprises. The body's kind of big and fast so when I reacted the first time she got the message. Now we're good.

It's a better day today. Not like the issues have gone away. Just helps to talk here. You guys calm me down.

Colin

We hear you, Colin. Our state is not "open carry," but we get messed up even by seeing stuff on the news. We can't avoid it--we have to stay informed for the sake of our health and safety. We just have to limit the amount of time spent on this.

MDs

Our state is not just open carry there are F-ing 1st graders better armed than we are. So F-ing tired of this. Host is trying to get us off the news but that's hard to do. When I check it I'm triggered. When I don't check it I'm triggered. I keep thinking about what I'm missing. It's a F-ing mess.

Colin

We hear you, Colin. It feels like we have to prepare ourselves for whatever is going on. We're trying not to watch the news during the day, though. Balance it out by spending time on other things. It's hard.

MDs

Just back on here after 4 days without power. I kept everybody together. Did what I had to do to keep us warm and fed. Folks inside think I'm a hero. I don't feel like it. I should have done better. Maybe if I'd seen it sooner. I missed some stuff. We need to keep more food and batteries around. I didn't do enough.

Colin

You did enough, Colin. And your others appreciate it.

The "not good enough" message we get is just BS from people who've tried to hurt us. We are good enough.

MDs

Thanks MDs. That means a lot.

Colin