for the protectors [venting and advice]

The new T called yesterday. I was ready for her to dump us because we're DID. I was like F-you lady. We don't want you. But she surprised me. She wants to see us. And she sounds like she knows what she's doing.

Now the problem is I'm on red alert all the time. Host is worried I'll blow up in the 1st session. I'm worried too. I'm totally failing at proportional response. I need to get a F-ing grip!

Colin

Can you go to the gym or chop down a tree?

Seriously dude, can you figure out what will help you chill a little bit?

Our T talks about doing something scary for just a minute at a time. Can you decide to see how the first 5 minutes of the session go, and then if they go ok, see how the next 5 minutes go?

Also, can you be the one who goes first so you can tell her what you're most worried that she'll do or say? I'm sure she's expecting this to be a tough situation for you. You've never started with a new T already knowing about you guys, right? That's gotta be tough because you've probably got littles ready to jump out and meet her before you've even decided if she's safe enough.

Good luck.
NoName

Good luck, Colin and all. You can do it.

MDs

Thanks guys. You're right. I'm worried. The new T knows about us. That's a serious security breach. Nobody is supposed to know and she does before we even meet her. Host said it was ok with him but nobody asked me. I'm trying to calm down. I need some exercise and maybe an action movie. I like the idea of starting out tomorrow. Maybe I should let her know not to mess with us.

Colin

Hey Colin,
nice job finding someone to interview.
we just met our future SE T for the first time and Asti had told her in her very first email that we have DID. like, HI, I have DID, when can we make an appointment so you can see that for yourself?!
it kind of helped me to have something else to worry about that was a bigger security issue. it was seriously hot outside and I had to make sure we find as much shadow as possible and not get lost and then have to wander around in the heat. maybe you could focus on safe travel and knowing the shortest way for escape.
and maybe you can do some reality-checking. if she tries to mess with you, she's not more powerful than you are. she is not the abusive adult who can overwhelm you. if she sucks you can get up, look her in the face, tell her "you know, this sucks" and leave and never come back. I've done that to that one systemic guy we interviewed. I just said "hell no!" and we were out of there.
is that the T who knows some SE, like you mentioned somewhere? if she is they get trained to first create a safe place and do everything to establish that and if she does that might even help you. ours moved around the big comfy chairs the way we told her until she sat far enough away for us to feel comfortable with the conversation.
I really hope she is good!

Good to hear from you Annette. Yeah our new T does SE. I'm not sure what that is but I guess we're going to try it. I like it that you said it sucked and left the bad T. I'm totally capable of that. Host says he'll let me if we need it. I always know the escape routes and who's closest to the door. I don't like Ts sitting closer than we are. Having a clear way out is my idea of a safe place.

I guess it's still hot where you are. That sucks. Staying in the shade is a good idea. Drink plenty of water because you're sweating. People who are hot don't feel thirsty so you got to drink water anyway. Just schedule it. Also wear a hat so the sun doesn't cook your brains. Really. I mean it. You'll fall over.

Good luck. Let me know how it goes ok?

Colin

No fried brains here yet although Asti kind of acts like it. She is beating herself up over not being perfect pretty badly she's gotta learn that with us here it is safe to learn things and not be perfect right away.
we had a serious drop in temperature over night. like from 91 to 73. the walls are still hot, so its like sitting in an oven when its nice outside. I can't wait to figure out how the AC works. When it finally arrives. If we are lucky it will happen before the next serious heat wave.
L is taking more of the meds that are supposed to prevent the nerve pain but they make us feel drunk and I hate that. bad body coordination. low self-control.

If the T is any good at SE she will let you choose a place where you are close to the door. we don't need that as much as a wall behind us so we know nobody is sneaking up on us when we relax a bit and open up. dunno where THAT comes from...
How is Cody doing. We saw her write the other day and it didn't seem so happy.
I totally missed why you can't work with your old T anymore, sorry.

Glad your brain isn't fried. 73 degrees isn't too bad. Hope it stays a while. Your AC needs to come before it gets hot again. If you have humidity watch for the coils freezing up. No big deal. Just if it stops cooling check the coils and maybe thaw them out. Also check the drain line. Mold grows in there. We had one block up and dump water all over the floor. Run a little bleach through it every once and a while and you're good. (Not trying to preach. Just figured you guys don't do AC much.)

Cody is still pretty torn up over our old T leaving. We got another one but that's just making Cody mad. Not sure what she wants.

Colin

no offense at all. It will probably be my job to take care of that thing anyway
and we really have no experience with that stuff whatsoever.

I think it needs time. Maya still cries over a T who left more than 2 years ago. for some losing someone is more difficult. I know some of us just keep going, because life has to happen and we aint no time for big feelings. but I guess they end up with someone anyway.

Thanks. It's sad to see Cody so messed up. But I don't know how to help her. She thought our old T was so cool. Then she got sick and had to leave us. I get it and I guess Cody gets it. She's just messed up anyway. How did you handle it for your system? You can't protect people from this.

Colin