for the protectors [venting and advice]

Are you asking me?
They don't agree that it's something bad.
And I'll f*cking interfere as much as I want to. I'm just not completely in charge unless it's, like, an emergency, so sometimes if I want to do something to fight back, I have to explain why, and f*cking convince them why we should do it.

We just got back from a trip. Finally! Something that F*CKING worked! It was HARD!!! We had to fight seriously bad weather - like walking a mile in ice cold rain - and make the AS*HOLES give us what we needed to do our job!

I F*CKING LOVED IT!!!!

Now we're home and there's no struggle anymore. Everything is so F*CKING quiet. Iain keeps saying we have to make it safe for the Littles. F*CK the Littles! I need some action. I NEED STRESS! I NEED DANGER! I NEED A F*CKING FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!

Bren

THIS F***ING B**CH mother of our best friend has put it in her head that we want to kill our best friend's kid! Like what the actual f**k?! Just because Alex doesn't feel comfortable around kids (simply because he doesn't know how to properly care for them) doesn't mean any of us want to hurt it! For f**ks sake I almost got in a fight trying to PROTECT IT! What the f**k is wrong with this b**ch?!?!
-Saggita

IainEtc wrote:
Now we're home and there's no struggle anymore. Everything is so F*CKING quiet. Iain keeps saying we have to make it safe for the Littles. F*CK the Littles! I need some action. I NEED STRESS! I NEED DANGER! I NEED A F*CKING FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!

Bren

You play any M-rated video games? Maybe that would help.

MDs

I want to tell my core, Panther. That everything will get better. I might give you some anxiety but it's nothing as bad as I've done before. Yes I might smoke some pot to help with the anxiety, and throw up cause of it. By forcing you to eat. But soon after a few weeks, or a month or so ill calm down and give you a break. I want to say it'll get better. But the worse your father gets the worse ill be. Then you might have to get a nurse for him. But little things set me off. I'm calm for now but want to throw up again. I do it cause I blame you all the time for our troubles. Ill be different when things are different. But not till then. I like to stay home as well. So the outings everyday will stop eventually. I know I like a lot. And have lied on some of. The things I've said, but you usually know what to look for mostly. I just want it better than we have it. And I'm no help, don't plan on being any. I don't like fighting but will fight when I need to. I don't want to help in the long run. But know your dad is the only one that really understands. And he's not gonna be around forever.

Hey Owen. I get you. You just want it better. Me too.

Somebody got sexual the other day. Then they dropped it when things got too hot to handle. Made me clean it up. Now everybody's p*ssed. They say I used too much force. What did you f-ing expect?

Colin

Simon- hello guys I'm new to this whole protector thing and am looking for advice our host Maria is worried that she may have found an alter that's very destructive and she's concerned that it might be trying to hurt her. I'm co existing right now with her so she's helping me type as we go along. But her main concerns are mostly that: A. She doesn't want harm to come to her family and friends, B. She doesn't want harm to come to her body through Self harm or destructive habits. And C. She wants to make sure she doesn't harm others. How do I help protect her?

Hey Simon, sometimes if you guys all talk to each other inside, you can figure out how different ones are feeling. Everyone is just trying to help in the best way they know how. So if someone wants to hurt the body, or outside people, that's just the best way they know how to help the whole system. Maybe you can help them figure out a better way to help.

I'm kind of annoyed today because we saw the stupid T and he said some dumb things about me. He stopped as soon as he knew he was bugging me, so that was good. I'm just not happy that Little and a bunch of others like him so much. And Little wants to be able to text him more, but we didn't make a new plan for how many times she can do that.

All of this f*cking stuff is endless and I just can't stand it!!

NoName

Hi Simon,

Gang's right (they're a smart group) communication is the most important thing. Journal draw talk to yourself - something to get this turned into words so it doesn't come out as actions. My guess is that it's probably a protector who's going extreme on you (we have one of those). It happens when they get confused and frustrated. Let them know you don't need the self-harm right now. Figure out some other stuff to do that makes you guys safe from whatever they're afraid is happening.

Good luck.

Iain

I'm just feeling really bothered about how much f*cking time all the stupid journaling, and posting, and THINKING takes up in our day. I mean, WTF??? Why can't we just have a break from it??? I'm supposed to be all respectful and understanding about everyone else's feelings. What about mine???????

We have whole entire days this next week where we could be getting $#%^ done, starting with TODAY, and instead we're having stupid conversations in our journal about how people feel, and writing things in the journal to the T. There's a LOT TO DO, and most of it is stuff we LIKE, so why can't we just do it?? Every f*cking time I walk by my computer, someone's got to sit down and check the forum, and then we end up responding to something, which takes f*cking FOREVER!!!

And shut up--I know I'm posting here myself, but maybe reading this will remind us to just CHECK THE LIST AND GET BACK TO DOING THINGS!!! I'm challenging us to stay off here and away from the journals for 24 hours!!

(Hah, now I told outside people, so we have to stick to it!!)

NoName