Need Support

Thank you, Iain. What your T says makes sense. Although at least in our case, some of those who are the least scared are not willing to help those who are the most scared. There are other issues involved that make this so.

I've come to realize that throughout our life, I've felt a profound sense of emptiness. Not just loneliness or abandonment or insecurity; all of those are there as well. But a deep emptiness has always been there. I've often told our T that I don't want to let go of pain because if I do, I'll have nothing there. Nature abhors a vacuum, and this includes emotional vacuums as well. I'd rather feel pain than emptiness, although I know neither is good for me.

It's another thing to talk about in T.

Charity

We are having difficulty again. I have put certain safety measures in place, including calling our T and arranging for an extra session this Friday in addition to the usual Wednesday evening session.

I have enlisted Mary in the overall support plan, since she is the only adult in our system who is functioning well enough to participate in this way. However, she has been a bit rattled by the most recent events, although she has promised to work with me. If the two of us focus on the rapport and the common goals that we already have with each other, we believe that we can make this plan work.

It's also essential that Laura cooperate with this plan. Because of her strong personality, her participation can make or break our progress. I have assured her that getting on board with this as a safety measure won't ruin her reputation. So she has agreed.

Meanwhile, we'd appreciate it if you would keep us in your thoughts.

Allegra and others

Message received MDs.

Sending support via the interwebz.

You all are in my thoughts. I'm gonna meditate tonight focusing on you guys. You are doing a very brave act.

Allegra, Mary, Charity, Laura, Joseph who is eight and a half, and david who is five and likes doggies, Light and Gideon, Deborah, Drew, Rachel, Aurora17, Cass, Nia, Big Joe, Reckless, shawn, rose, jayne-ann, Val, Frieda, Aurora13, Twelve, Nona, Kecia, Hannah, Jeannine, Lauranine, Christine, Deidra, Sophie, laurajean, lila, emily, heidi, josie, willow, alyssa, brooke, josie, jody, abby, nell, penny, arianna, lil laura, ginger, amanda. (and if I didn't mention you all, other MDs). We have you in our thoughts.

Sea

you are in our thoughts. let us how it is going and if there is something we could do to help.

Thank you, Team BeccaBee, Team Birdsong....and holy moly, Sea, thanks for the roll call.

Containment is tiring. But we're working as hard as we can to cooperate. Those inclined to have hope are working on that as well, and we're also working to accept each other where we are, even if we disagree.

Tiring. Yeah. Onward.

MDs

Hey, I'm glad to read you all here. That's something I like a lot about you all. You are accepting about where every one is at the moment.

We are here, reading, and supporting. You keep being in my thoughts and focused meditations.

Sea

PS: and haha yeah, I wanted to include everyone.

*Trigger Warning*

Thank you for including and validating everyone, Sea. I'm feeling more and more stressed as the day goes on. A vague panic signals the constant tension inside. It feels suffocating.

*End Trigger Warning*

I know I should ask for help from some of the others. I keep playing into the same unhealthy dynamic.

Charity

I need to learn to recognize and acknowledge the Good Things.

1. I did not raid the snack machine at work. Our bathroom scale has been telling us things that we don't want to hear, and I don't want to sabotage our health or well-being. I want to set a good example.

2. I located some important work documents that I thought were permanently lost. We were not the one who "lost" them, but we waited far too long to try to account for them. Today I felt myself slowly sinking into The Pit for other reasons, and as much as I was tempted to let myself sink further, I got out of our chair and went to work on reducing our stack of pending documents. This was where I found the missing ones.

I need to let myself be okay with being better. I keep fearing that if I make progress and share it, other people will expect me to be doing well all the time. I want and need support, but I don't want pity. At times I feel like I have no clue what's healthy.

Time to leave work and go home.

Charity

Hi Charity and other MDs,

Those are good things to acknowledge. I want to say that I don't except you to be doing well permanently. I'm just happy for what happened. : )

Sea

PS:

MakersDozn wrote:At times I feel like I have no clue what's healthy.

I think this deserve a whole thread even possibly a whole forum. I have had the same question about what's healthy in so many... realms.