Belongings, friends, etc.

I'm new here, so...hello, and pardon me, please, if my terminology is off! I have several questions for you guys. For now I'll just put them to academic curiosity

1. How do you divvy up possessions between members of a system? Doesn't it get depressing or frustrating if everyone's constantly wearing the host's clothing, reading their books, playing their games, etc etc?

2. What about friends? If the host is the only one who has a friend or friends, how does everyone else spend their time? Wouldn't it be lonely interacting with just each other or no-one?

3. Is it possible to request someone to front (or stop fronting) at a particular time and have that happen? Furthermore, is it rude?

Thanks.

Hello, CharleyBo!

1. We don't have problems with that! We try to be respectful to the host and he tries to please us and give us space!

2. This is a problem, because the host does not want to tell his friends about us so we feel lonely.

3. Yes, in our system, it is very possible. Collaboration is the key!

Pasquale

Hi,

CharleyBo wrote:1. How do you divvy up possessions between members of a system? Doesn't it get depressing or frustrating if everyone's constantly wearing the host's clothing, reading their books, playing their games, etc etc?

We are a non-host system. The host paradigm has never worked for us. The best analogy for how our system works would be that we are a group of people riding the same bus, and there are usually two people driving it.

That being said, our possessions belong to all of us, though certain possessions might be more meaningful to some of us than to others. Things like toys, stuffed animals, and journals were either bought by or for specific system members. The degree to which possessions are shared depends on what sort of possessions they are.

Cooperation is essential for us to balance everyone's needs.

CharleyBo wrote:2. What about friends? If the host is the only one who has a friend or friends, how does everyone else spend their time? Wouldn't it be lonely interacting with just each other or no-one?

Not every member of a system wants or needs to be active on the outside. In discussing this matter with multiples we know, we've found that often only 10 percent or less of a system's population is likely to interact with the outside on a regular basis. For larger, more complex systems, the percentage would be even smaller. Of course, we have no data to back this up, but we offer it as anecdotal feedback.

In some systems we know, individual members do indeed have their own friends. More frequently, we've found that systems work together to function as a unified persona on the outside, including when they interact with friends.

CharleyBo wrote:3. Is it possible to request someone to front (or stop fronting) at a particular time and have that happen? Furthermore, is it rude?

We can certainly make such a request, but the agreement has to be voluntary. In our experience, forcing someone to do something rarely works, and it's likely to do more harm than good in the long run.

Standard disclaimer: Your Mileage May Vary.

MDs